I have been SA’d a lot throughout my life and ended up sexualizing it like a lot of people here. It was fine because my ex was awesome and it turned him on talking about and recreating rapes with me.
My gf now hates when I talk about my extreme kinks. She asked me to stop talking to her about them and said she was trying not to judge me. I don’t know what to do, I love her but before we got together I told her this was what I was and that I needed cnc and she said she would try but now has reversed that.
I’ve been thinking about trying to find someone to hookup with so I can be used and abused. I don’t know what to do - I feel terrible my kinks disgust her but a little frustrated she has changed her opinion. The hypersexuality is making me want to hookup I think.
If anyone has advice - I’ll take it