u/teacherspet33

So a few things off the top: She knows I have a crush on her. I told her, and I told her knowing she’s in a relationship, because I am stupid. She loves that she has a little lesbian friend who’s deeply into her, and keeps me around her a lot. I’m with her or at her place most free days I have, and Im almost like a maid to her, or a piece of furniture, or a toy to cuddle or use whenever she wants.

Which I’m not opposed to, obviously. Though it can get pretty dehumanizing.

The second thing is, me fucking her boyfriend was her idea. I’m not a gold star lesbian, I’ve been with guys, and like I’m not opposed to them now, it’s just like… idk, I’m just not into them.

But I’m desperate to please her, even though I’m aware it’s toxic. Tbh the toxicity turns me on. That’s probably obvious though, I’m here after all, desperate for attention.

Her boyfriend’s cock was pretty big. Her boyfriend is pretty big, period. 6-foot-something, muscular. He fucked me like I was just a toy. He held me up, thrusting into me, kissing and biting and sucking on my body. I felt so useless in his arms, or maybe helpless is a better word. But helpless has negative connotations. I wasn’t actually helpless, it just felt like I was.

And tbh it was/is the helplessness that turns me on the most. My helplessness towards her and her whims, my helplessness in his strong manhandling of me. I think a deep turn on for me is being treated more as a faceless servant than as a person.

I heard her make herself orgasm watching us maybe 3 times. She used a rabbit, and the buzzing of it was like a background soundtrack to it all. It was flattering, in a way. I didn’t orgasm from him, but afterwards she laid with me and played with my pussy with her fingers till I writhed my way to two orgasms.

I don’t have any sort of conclusion to make. I feel like a useless pervert who should block her and not talk to her again, but I know I won’t do that.