u/throwaway110sp

TL;DR - *Used more fingers than normal, got deeper than normal, and wife said she'd never cum like that. Trying to determine what made it so different and would love to hear from others.

Wife and I are together 20 years and we started as friends with benefits. We've been having sex for longer than we've been a couple. We're both in our 40s and she is squarely in perimenopause now.

Over the past few years it seems like we've connected more emotionally, physically, sexually. It's been great. As part of that our sexual life has been exploratory a bit as well. We *unlocked* squirting when she turned 40, for example. It has happened maybe 8-9 times in the year since, but it's a fun time every occurence.

We added weed gummies and have had some really great orgasms while high. The connection, the sensations, the fully present nature are increased when a little bit high.

I'm an average penis haver. Back in our 20s, we measured my dick and I was squarely average, just under 6 inches. My wife has never really enjoyed dildos. We tried a few years back, but they weren't her cup of tea, especially if they were longer/girthier than me. In her words she loves the feeling of me inside her over anything else. The past 5 or so years, she's enjoyed three fingers instead of two, when fingering. It's not every time, but sometimes she just asks to feel *more* and another finger goes in. Typically it's my index, middle, and ring finger with my pinky and thumb remaining out.

Alright, storytime.

Friday night we had some good sex. Started with me rubbing her shoulders and neck and working my way to her breasts while she sat in front of me in bed. After a bit of rubbing her down, she flipped over face down to put her butt in front of me with her legs to either side. I massaged her legs and her ass and then parts in between. Grabbed a toy and slowly used that while fingering her g spot. We were both a little high and feeling her pleasure is one of my favorite things. I rode her wave as she came. We finished with a more traditional *mating press* and we both came together.

Saturday we had all the love hormones raging from a night of passionate sex. A lot more gentle touches, soft smiles, and looks throughout the day. That night we played a video game together, made a cake together and ate it, and then snuggled up with a show. She took a large gummy and was feeling pretty high. After a bit we decided to head to the bedroom for some us time. We laid together naked, lightly touching and talking and laughing. After a while she reached between my legs to play with my balls and I reached between her legs and gently stroked her clitoris.

I shifted her to put a pillow under her butt and went to town. I spent probably 15 minutes tasting her, sucking her clitoris into my mouth, swirling my tongue around on her clit. Lightly stroking her g-spot with my middle and ring fingers. She was loving it but it just wasn't quite enough for her at that moment.

I grabbed a towel and placed it under her, then got some lube. Lubed up and instead of going toward the front wall of her vagina, I flipped my hand around. Think index finger and middle finger inside with thumb above the butthole. I gave her gentle pressure and a rocking motion to simulate the feeling of a penis inside (not actually moving in and out). While doing this, I grabbed one of her clitoral suction toys and put it on her lubed up clitoris. As she laid there enjoying things, she asked for more, deeper. I put my ring finger in and continued that rocking motion against the back wall of her vagina. She was loving it. She grabbed the suction vibrator and turned it up, the both of us holding it together.

Again she said, "more, deeper". So, I put my pinky finger in her as well. Four fingers in, all against the back wall. In the past, with three fingers in, there was a natural *stop* with my pinky not in. Not now. I could go deeper than normal. All four fingers in, thumb in between her cheeks at her butt. Those four fingers went deep inside. Again, a gentle rocking motion but not an in and out. A few minutes of this along with her vibrator and she started clenching her leg muscles, her arm muscles. Whole body shaking. She let go of the vibrator to grab her thigh and *hold on*. My fingers could feel the contractions of her orgasm as one, two, three, kept going and going. Powerful body convulsions, starting from her lower back, thrusting herself onto my fingers. Finally she grabbed at the toy and swatted it away,"Oh god, I'm done, I'm done."

My hand inside her, slowly removed inch by inch to small gasps of pleasure from her. I placed my hand on her vulva flat and unmoving to give her thay closeness and connectedness. Leaned up and kissed her. She just smiled and slurred, "I think you hit the factory reset. I don't think I've ever cum like that."

I lifted her legs up off the pillow and she rolled to her side. I laid behind her as big spoon. We talked for a little bit about good she felt and then she drifted off to sleep.

So, here's my question.

Is the "never cum like that" more of the increased fingers? For those who enjoy a feeling of being more *full*, it definitely seems like I scratched that for her. I'm wanting to give her more intense orgasms like this again and wanting to know if there are more tips/tricks/suggestions from women who enjoy this.

I've spoken to her after, but she doesn't normally go into detail, instead giving a broad sense of, "I liked what you were doing." I've asked her to be specific, but with her being high she said she just knows it felt amazing.

I've been seeing a lot of posts about frequency and quality of sex.

I am wondering how *stability* in terms of finance, housing, relationship length, etc contributes to your life?

Do you find an increase in your time together when you feel secure?

For my wife and I weekends have become the best time for sexual connection. With young kids, busy jobs, and life stress our week tends to be full and constant, but our weekends open us up to more time together. I'll share what the wife and I got up to and would love to hear everyone else's successful married sexual experiences.

Wife and I are 41. We have two elementary aged kids. While both our bodies are different than they were in our 20s, I feel like she is more beautiful and attractive to me each day and I only hope she feels the same.

The weekend started on Friday night. Our kids had a sleepover with friends, so we began the weekend by taking some weed gummies and watching a movie on the couch. Just snuggled up together, enjoying our married life. I got up, went to the bedroom, and laid out a soft blanket, then a towel. I got out our massage cube, a Koa Roy, her lotion, our lube, and our clitoral suction toy. Dimmed the bedroom lights and turned them soft purple, and put on some sexy massage music.

As our movie came to an end, I told her to go lay down naked so I could massage her. After a quick bathroom break ans brushing her teeth, she laid on her stomach on the bed, legs spread open, head over a pillow, arms hanging off the bed. Fully naked, I love her body even more. Her hips, her legs, her butt, everything is amazing to me.

I started on her back. Using the massage cube, I rubbed the oil in and gave her firm pressure down her spine, around her shoulder blades, and rubbing her lower back. We've been together for 20 years and I know exactly where she carries stress in her body. After her back I moved to her left leg. The goal was relaxation first. So massaging oil into her legs, right where her ass meets her thigh, down the middle of her thigh, on either side of her muscle. Time down her calf muscle and finishing with a foot massage. Spent my time working back ip her leg to massage her hip and butt with my hand gently massaging her groin where her legs meet her groin area. Still not actually touching her vulva.

Flipped to the right leg and followed the same pattern. Then placed my leg in between hers with my thigh touching her vulva, skin against her gentle heat. Using my hands to massage her lower back, butt, and up and down her back on one side. Took her arms and worked down from her shoulder to her forearm, to her hands. Massaging them lightly. Time on her stomach was about 45 minutes, then I had her flip over on her back. I started between her legs massaging up her legs to her hips. Then I stood and came to standing where her head was at the edge of the bed. Massaging her arms up to her neck. Her tension is held in her neck, so massaged it along with her shoulders and her muscles right above her breasts. Spent about 20 minutes massaging here before giving her a scalp massage.

After a light kiss on her forehead, I started massaging down her chest towards her pubic area. Hands gently stroking her breasts, lightly circling her nipples. I washed my hands and then I got back on the bed and sat between her legs, rubbing her upper thighs. Grabbing some lube, I warmed it in my hands and started stroking her labia. Up and down, giving her full palm touch. Stopped at the clitoris and reached to gently stroke the clitoral *shaft*. My wife loves this (thank you Nina Hartley). After a bit of this, I grabbed our suction toy and placed it on 5he lowest speed on her clit. At that point her relaxed body and slightly high mind totally melted. A sigh of contentment and a slight intake of breath and we were in for some fun. I lubed up my right hand, left hand holding the toy.

Two fingers to start, gently stroking the back wall of her vagina. A little in and out and a come hither on the back wall. A small sound from her, "Oh, god," and I slipped in another finger. Index, middle, ring finger stretching her a bit but with the lube sliding right in and out. Her body reacting with light shivers down her legs. I turned the toy up a few notches to hear her gasp in pleasure. We'd never done four fingers, but she said she loved the feeling when I used 3. I gently pulled my hand out and slid in all four fingers, my thumb resting right below her butt hole. The gasp of pleasure was amazing. I turned up the toy once more and I could read her body language, indicating she was close. Her nipples were hard, her legs tensing up, her hands placed on her thighs. She placed one leg up on my shoulder as I gently but consistenly massaging the inside of her vagina and my thumb lightly touched her perineum.

The towel was a good choice. As she came, her body rocked, her head fell back off the edge of the bed, her legs tight and her vagina squeezed my hand, pulsating over and over as she came once, she breathed in as I kept stroking her vagina and she came again. She grabbed my hand with the toy and just asked me to keep doing it. Lightly she rode the waves of pleasure down as I pulled out my fingers. The towel was covered in lube. Wiped my hand off, and gently used the towel to wipe her vulva down.

I got up, washed my hands, and came back to lay beside her, kissing her deeply. A rush of relaxation and she just wanted to lay together with me. After some time, she started touching on me. I told her she could just drift off, but this woman needed me in her. She took of my boxers, pulled me into her, and we sat with her legs wrapped around me, deep inside her straddled on the bed. About as deep as possible, we kissed passionately, grabbed at each other, and moved in our rhythm together. She finally pushed me back, one leg still behind my back and rocked back and forth.

As I felt her cumming again, I couldn't hold and came right along with her. We gasped together, moaning in pleasure. Every thought, worry, and concern completely gone except for each other. After we came, she slid her leg out from under me and we just laid there like that. Our shared juices, and a bit too much lube, all over our waists.

We both cleaned up and went to bed.

That was only Friday night. We each got a bit more excitement over the weekend.

* Saturday morning 69 was a grand ole time.

* Saturday afternoon sex before she took a nap. A good fingering for her.

* Saturday night prostate play with her giving me a handjob while stroking my prostate.

* Sunday after a nap, a good fingering session that ended in a squirting orgasm for her, followed by me riding her in prone bone to another orgasm for us both.

* Sunday night ending with some animalistic doggy-style, pulling her hair, slapping her ass, and coming together while she used a toy on her clit.

Overall a really great weekend as a *reset* before a busy week. We both have big deadlines this week and some intense things coming up. We may tey to fit in some sexy time.in Wednesday, but she told me this morning that she may need a minute, her vagina is tired.

How was your weekend?