Trouble dating & concerns
Just need to rant for a moment.
I’ve always been into older men, from a very young age. I’ve actually never had a crush on a guy anywhere remotely in my own age range, all my crushes have been in the 47-66 y/o range. I’ve tried so hard to like people of my own age, but I literally just can’t. I’m currently in a sort of situationship with my polyamorous friend group, though I mainly use that as an emotional relief of sorts. I really crave a relationship, but due to difficulties meeting people I rely on them to keep me remotely sane. They’re my friends. But I don’t feel any romantic attraction, which is frustrating, because I have so much love to give and nobody to give it to!!
I’m definitely going to try to get out there more as soon as possible, though currently I can’t because I’m in a psychiatric ward and will remain here for another year. What I’m concerned about, is not being able to find a partner who 1: doesn’t have bad intentions (I’m 19 years old but I have quite a baby face sadly), and 2: someone within my preferred age range who is comfortable dating someone my age. Because of course, any good older partner would acknowledge the age gap and its possible issues.
Sometimes I feel like it’ll be impossible for me to ever find love due to these things. I just need to have patience, possibly a lot of it, but god, it’s so hard!!