Just would like to hear other people's experiences so I don't feel so alone in my fucked up mistakes. This was many years ago, but the first time I was heavily depressed and stupidly took a fuck ton of shrooms and smoked weed, I was going crazy and running naked head first into walls, smashed a large mirror into pieces, scraped my leg so badly that I could barely walk for a week.
The other time I took some shrooms and they weren't hitting, I thought they weak so I ended up taking 7 grams and then it all hit me at once. I was convinced I had killed a family member, my parents were both using all their weight on me trying to keep me on the ground and I thought they were trying to keep me from killing myself until the cops came. I escaped without hurting them, ran to the knife drawer and pulled out a large knife, was about to stab my heart when my dad knocked it out of my hands and then handcuffed me until the ambulance came.
I'm a fucking idiot to do that especially twice, I have tripped many many other times totally fine, but the first time the weed triggered the psychosis and the 2nd time I thought I'd be fine since there was no weed, but the large amount of shrooms just brought up the trauma from the first time. I obviously never trip at home anymore, not even a little bit. I have two younger siblings that still avoid me and the trauma I caused makes it that much harder to get sober from everything.
I'm not exactly asking for advice I know I've fucked up way more than anyone should ever fuck up and I have to live with that forever, I just would love to hear from anyone that's gone through anything similar at all