u/69kKarmadownthedrain

i hate the wrinkles, i hate the grey hair. body skin is smooth, but this will end anytime now.

i feel that i am forever doomed to sitting before my monitor and wanking to the fantasies, that no one will ever want me. because every time i set a personal, i fucking get no replies. i hate what i see in a mirror. i will never muster the courage to do anything with it.

neither expanding my warderobe, as that will turn me further into a caricature of both masculinity and famininity

or meet up with anyone. nt only i have no one to meet up with, but even if i had- i would not have the audacity to present my body to ayone and expect them to desire it.

i do not know what i need more. a hug or a hemlock

i should be up, in my kitchen turning the morning groceries into a nutritious breakfast and a delicious lunchbox for my husband. wearing a skirt so short that it reveals spanking marks on my butt and chastity in front of it.

siiigh, but hey, no husband. only a skirt. which i wont be putting on today :(

(yes yes, i know the unrealistic nature of a prince charming dream)

... sometimes i feel like giving up on everything, admitting that a fast pace life is not for me, the world has beaten me down, and I should submit to a better man. stronger, more resourceful, caring and dominant. and in return, making sure he never sees a grain of dust in his house, the meals arrive on the table sure as clockwork and clean, ironed cloths just appear in the closet.

and i could just let go of everything else and focus on pursuing being more and more feminine and the smile of approval on my husband's face. Embrace the strict domestic discipline with submissive enthusiasm.

a sissy can always dream, right?

well, without diving too deep into the hows and whys and whatnots from the get go. I simply want to see how many of you share this particlar kink.

there are many things to love about it, and i will start with one:
- red butt is simply cute, at least in my eyes. communicates submissiveness

EDIT: i will throw in another:

- sobbing and whimpering is unmanly and thus affirming.

girls, this won't be a typical hornypost on a hornysub. however, this subreddit has, over and over, shown that it is capable of seriousness and wholesomeness when the situation calls for it.

so, i need a.. space to meet people where i could engage with others' experiences of gender questioning... while not raffling the feathers on trans people who, well, for a good reason, would not like to be associated with me, as i am now. do you know any such space? would love to go there, not be judged and... and also, lesbihonest, be horny from time to time. because life without spice is bland. any directions?

and also, if you have bothered reading so far, i will drop it here, because why not. i just got, at the ripe age of 38, diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum. hurray. hurr-fucking-ay! i have some fcking mourning to do, like youth and young adulthood that did not happen(at least to an extent i wanted it to happen), because i had no idea how to navigate sex and romance and no one bothered to help me. and then, mourn a femboy that could have been, but never got an opportunity. and then, mourn a queerdo, that could have seen the light of day, but was squashed by depression and autistic burnout. so, huh. if you feel like empathizing, feel cordially invited to, i appreciate it.

(because the post in which i have initially posted this as a comment got removed- i will just make a separate post, to bring this thought before the eyes of the girls that need to see it)

oh yes, the cornerstone submissive fantasy. the cornerstone of 70% of the smut written with women in mind. here it comes, 50 shades and about 90% of booktok and AO3 summarized for you:

"uuugh, i want to do that one specific thing, but i have no conviction or courage or guts to do it by myself, and also... uuugh, i am afraid of being judged if i do it by myself so.. uuugh, could someone please force me to do that one specific thing i want to do anyway?" and that one specific thing in this case, turns out to be transitioning.

funny. we fantasize (because we kinda share the fantasy) about womanhood in a womanly way. hilarious if you think about it. in the way of daydreams, you already quack like a duck

shall i just give up? make peace with sexual death, with the fact that i will never be loved, wanted or desired? how to make myself stop posting these, give up hope?

is there anything that a 38yo unattractive filth can do to finally die?

The Dom, with a help of his wife, whose existance he had concealed from the protagonist spends rest of the Summer training the boy in the girly ways- voice training, make-up routines, walking on heels, cooking and other chores. switch and paddle always in hand to motivate the trainee.

The Summer ends with our protagonist returning to college. aftermath.. up to you, Author. as everything, in fact :)

... let's write some forcefem, shall we?

So, to keep it short- i am aware that crrently 38y of age, i am not able to pull the "cute UwU femboy" look. and possibly "pink, overtanned bimbo" look either. still, i am looking for the stnning ways to look feminine when doing sissy stuff.

Girls, any ideas on the styles and looks i can emulate, that would be age appropriate? EDIT: i mean particular looks.like "Zeta-Jones in Chicago" or "This and that characters from Stepford Wives"

so, girls, i hav been thinking for a moment about this very common "i want to be forced into womanly position" and how it alignes with everything, and then it came to me....

have you seen the erotica written by women or with a woman reade in mind? the majority of it is "uuugh, so this is this sexual thing that i want to do, but i have no guts to do by myself and i am sorta afraid of my own courage, and yet i desire it... would it not be wonderful if someone... force... me? ofc, force to do that one specific thing thing i want to do anyway, so i get the taste of it and my own indecisiveness is out of the way. pretty please? maybe an SA or a vampire or some secret BDSM society that kidnapped me- yes that would do nicely".

fantasizing about being in a woman's role.. and even in the way we fantasize- we do it the most feminine way possible

it was too beautiful to be true, right?

siiigh. i guess i will never be anything more than a filthy man with a lingerie compartment in his closet. when i overcome a post nut clarity and want to meet- the other side does not. i guess the most i can ever be for anyone is a glorified sexting bot.

fuckin it. expiration day came, time to weld the holes shut

Hello girls, especially the kinky ones among you.

so... i am increadibly anxious to introduce this routine to my life, yet i desire it so much. my Dom also seems to be enthusiastic about he idea to teach his girl-in-training to control her fear of pain and teach her to regularly and willing submit her man parts for chastising.

.. can you recommend some techniques, that on one hand are painful, and on the other- safe, and viable for long term use with some regularity, let's say, weekly?

so, my sorry self, 38 yo, just got through the second, out of estimated 4, appointments. of getting myself diagnosed with ADHD. as an adult. fuck it, my life, with all its failures make so much sense when i look back at it throught the lens of an undiagnosed pwADHD trying to run a marathon with a rusty nail in their shoe.

and you know what? among other things, i hope it will help me become a good sissy, instead of someone just half-assing it and mostly withdrawing once the PNC hits. i still was doing SOMETHING, but combating anxiety and motivation issues just ate so much of the effort.
the youth might be gone, but maybe there is still some love to get in this life. from others and from myself.

that's it, basically

hey guys. i mostly drop this hornypost, because at my age, 38, i have a hard time finding anyone, and as a sub, that feels like belonging in the recycling bin. so... in th absence of the real thing, i will abuse my keyboard for a bit. looking back on the best experience i had had with a man ever.

when i was around 26, i met a few times (it turned to some half-assed dating) with a middle aged gay Dom. i rmember having submissive fantasies back then, but they turned out to be everything i expected and so much more.

i just can't forget that magical feeling of beings someone's bitch that a good hard spanking gave me. someone wants me and has power over me, cotrols me beyond even my instinct to shield myself from pain. each time felt like popping my cherry. i was shaking post-spanking and felt his hard cock pressing against me, stretching and filling me. and the cherry on top?

the feeling of his pubes sandpapering my burning buttocks. a reminder throughout the entire ordeal, that this is about a manly man using his less strong and less manly bitch.

I WANT ONE MORE RIDE LIKE THIS!