Up to five ruined orgasms today ftm 22
I've been really bad with cumming lately. I locked all my toys in a chest for three months in an attempt to force myself to cum with my hands. then I quit smoking weed, and for a few weeks after, my libido really fell off. i was cumming like once a day or so, with no edging, just a quick fix. But now, my libido has resurfaced with a vengeance.
I have this reddit buddy ive been messaging occasionally, and he really inspired me to get back into edging and ruined orgasms. Theres this edging marathon thingy i found a while back that has you roll a d10 for each level and it gives you a number of edges and tells you if you move up to the next level, reroll, or go back a level. With that, i edged about 40 times in thirty minutes?
That was a day or two ago. I finished the marathon "fapinstructor" and even got the full orgasm option, but i wanted to keep edging. I went on until i accidentally tipped over the edge and ruined. I don't remember if i came after that, but i know I came four times the next day... maybe five? i dont remember. I used to be really good about recording my orgasms (if you havent heard of it, i highly recomend checking out edgr.app, which is an edge/orgasm/ruin/touch tracker).
anyway, today, my reddit buddy told me that the best way to fall in love with ruining again is to just force myself to ruin a few times... which i did. I have ruined at least four, maybe five times today. the first four were all in a row, i was just too horny to stop myself. I ruined until i was exhausted and fell asleep. I played video games for a bit, then got too horny.
This time, i wanted to edge, so i went on redgifs. Initially, i said i would rub myself to each video until i edged, then stop touching myself until the video finished. I had to edge to each video i watched, and i wasnt allowed to skip anything. I dont know how long i did that for, but eventually my brain got too fried, too addicted to touching myself and i just started edging like i normally would, like a horny animal.
I ruined myself with a buttplug in, and GOD, ruins after edging are so much more intense compared to just one ruin. I want to cum so badly. I locked myself in a chastity belt with my buttplug still in (its not a great fit, i could probably still cum if i tried, but it helps my self control). Now, im just waiting for my r/edgetogether verification while locked up and horny.
I wanna go back to ruins only, but i dont know if i have the self control. i need relief soooo bad. i have the whole weekend free (abnormal for me), and I don't think i'll be able to do anything while im this pent up (that's why im wearing the chastity belt). But instead of being productive, im here. im whining to an army of strangers about how horny i am. and I'm so pent up. i wanna touch, touch, rub, cum, but i can't. I shouldn't. I should stay horny and happy forever. (my therapist DID say i needed more dopamine in my life, but i dont think this is what they meant XD)