I live with my gf at her house, we both are addicts in "recover" but she just cant get sober, i can go on for months, before our last relapse i was sober for 6 months dealing with her quitting for a week on max and just throwing it all away.
Im a poly drug user, i do whatever, but she's just obssesed with doing blow and i fucking hate it. I mean, yeah, when im actively doing shit i do blow too but not the way she does. i mean like a g or 2 per day and its insane, she doesnt sleep, doesnt want to talk, stays on her computer "working" or whatever, i can only hear her tapping the keyboard and singing the whole night while im at thr bed just trying to think how to talk about it (since its been 2 days she relapsed and i just cant seem to speak with her, i just evade the topic at all)
All that said, what's now really getting me is that gross mf coke nose, i feel like vomiting when shes speaks or breath, i can hear her sinus dissolving for every breath she takes and her voice sounds like two people talking at the same time, its really really gross and idk man, i just dont feel like being near her like that, i love her a lot, i've been taking that since we meet and i just accepted she needs help and i need to be there with her, but i just dont know how much more relapses i cant take, the last one "we" had i was there smoking only my weed and doing acid sometimes and she kept doing it while hiding it, then somewhere in february i just said fuck it and asked for some.
Conclusion? I lost my job, strayed away from friends and family, we got in debt, almost died from a car crash while she was maniacally driving me to buy some beer, literally lost the whole last 2 months we had this year and i thought that was enough for her to get sober, but she just doesnt take a fucking clue, still talking about ketamine, ecstasy, pills, all that to try and convince me to partake on it, JUST so she can do coke, and while i didnt buy any of her talk, she still bought it and is doing it alone like nothings wrong like man im pissed af