u/Aggressive-Bad-5553

Super long post with TLDR at end. I just need to get this off my mind.

Background: Around 2020 this descent started. I was a completely straight guy who got addicted to porn and used sissy hypno/captions to get off for the last 6 years. It started slowly. Bought my first pair of panties, then bras, then whole outfits. Each time I pushed myself a little bit more. Wigs, makeup, nail polish. Then I decided to post myself online to several of these sissy/femboy subreddits. That’s where the “issues” really started. Posted progress pics on throwaway accounts, chatted with guys as “Emma.” It felt euphoric. I loved the attention, the validation, feeling pretty and desired for the first time. The attention I got from these guys was insane and addictive. Each post I feminized myself a little more until I looked somewhat passable.

Then the vacation a few weeks ago. Buddy and I decided to go to Thailand and had a normal vacation up until he left early. I was alone there for a 4 nights. The very first night I got insanely horny and decided to play dress up again. I luckily brought most of my feminine stuff I keep in a small carryon. It’s usually I just dress up, chat with boys on here or grinder until I get myself off and then feel deep shame and “quit” for a week until I come back. Addictions stronger than before.

But this time was different, I played with myself dressed up and decided fuck it. Nobody here knows who I am. I decided dressed up in makeup, lingerie, and a wig that I need to “run to 7/11” real quick. I should’ve stayed in my hotel.

The hotel was right next to Patong walking street which is where the “ladyboys” of Phuket hang around. If you ever visit that place you know. It is bright, overstimulating and packed with tourists. I felt eyes on me immediately. Men stared, whistled, shouted “ladyboy!” and “beautiful.” A group of what I assume are drunk Russians grabbed my ass as I passed, laughing when I yelped. Two backpackers in their 20s walked right up, one touching my tits while the other slapped my ass and called me a “sexy trap.” I didn’t pull away. I let them. My face burned with shame but my tiny dick was leaking in my panties. I kept walking, heels clicking, feeling hands brush and touch me every few minutes. Random fingers tracing my hips, slapping my ass, one guy even pinching my nipple through the dress and laughing at how red I turned.

I walked all the way down that street and back. As I was standing there catching my breath on the edge of the beach road, still flushed and adjusting my dress, he approached me. Spanish guy, mid-50s, on vacation from Madrid. He didn’t hesitate. He walked straight up, looked me up and down, and said “You are very pretty, eh? I saw you walking… you like the attention, no?” I nodded, voice soft and girly. He laughed low, put his hand on my waist like he already owned me, and told me his hotel was just around the corner.

He grabbed my hand and led me like a trophy he won. At this moment something came over me. I wasn’t a boy playing dress up. I actually felt like a woman. I felt like this whole different person took over.

I knew exactly what I was doing of course. We barely made it into his room before I dropped to my knees first. I wanted it. I begged for it. He called me his little faggot while I sucked him, mascara running as I choked myself on his cock. When he bent me over the bed I arched my back like a whore in heat, panties ripped aside, and pushed back onto him raw. It hurt at first but I moaned for more. He fucked me deep and rough, slapping my ass, choking me like the broken slut I’d become. He finished inside me twice. I loved every second of it. The feeling of being used, filled, completely girly.

I didn’t clean up. I pulled my ruined panties back on, felt his warm cum already starting to leak down my thighs, and left his room on shaky legs. The walk back to my hotel was only ten minutes but it felt eternal.

Every step made more of it drip. These thick, sticky trails running down my inner thighs, soaking into my stockings. I could feel it cooling in the night air, smell it faintly with every movement.

People passed me on the busy street and I swear some of them noticed. A guy on a motorbike slowed and smirked. Two girls giggled and pointed at the wet shine on my legs. The massage girls smiling at me. I kept my head down, heels clicking, ass still sore and gaping, my leaky dick straining through my chastity cage, rubbing against the cum-soaked panties. The shame burned hotter than the sex itself.

I lay there in my hotel mirror later, staring at the girl with smeared makeup and a wrecked body, cum still slowly leaking onto the cheap sheets. I don’t know who I hate more . This man for giving me exactly what I craved, or the pathetic boy who halfway around the world to turn himself into this cumdump.

I just wanted to feel wanted. Instead I got exactly what I begged for… and I already know I’d dress up and walk that street again.

It all started with porn. Years of sissy hypno videos, forced feminization captions, and trap porn that slowly rewired my brain. At first it was just jerk-off sessions in panties. Then full outfits, voice training, the Thailand trip. Every clip of a boy becoming a cumdump led me here . Used on Patong Beach like public meat, fucked raw by a stranger, walking back leaking his load down my legs for everyone to see. And the sickest part? I love it. I love how empty and used I feel. I love the shame that makes me leak. I love that the old me is gone and t and this broken, horny girl is all that’s left. I don’t think I can ever stop now.

If any boys are reading this and feeling that pull. Delete the porn today. Block the hypno accounts, throw away the panties. That first video seems harmless, but it rewires you one session at a time until you’re booking flights to Thailand and spreading your legs for strangers while your old life disappears. Stay away from the mirror in makeup. Stay away from the comments that call you pretty. Once you start walking that beach, there’s no real way back. Save yourself before you end up like me, leaking cum in a foreign hotel and loving how destroyed you are.

TLDR: Turned myself into a fuckable girl in Thailand, got used like a whore on Patong Beach, let a Spanish tourist who approached me on the street use me, then walked back to my hotel with his cum dripping down my legs. Porn and slow feminization destroyed me… and I fucking love it.

Super long post with TLDR at end. I just need to get this off my mind.

Background: Around 2020 this descent started. I was a completely straight guy who got addicted to porn and used sissy hypno/captions to get off for the last 6 years. It started slowly. Bought my first pair of panties, then bras, then whole outfits. Each time I pushed myself a little bit more. Wigs, makeup, nail polish. Then I decided to post myself online to several of these sissy/femboy subreddits. That’s where the “issues” really started. Posted progress pics on throwaway accounts, chatted with guys as “Emma.” It felt euphoric. I loved the attention, the validation, feeling pretty and desired for the first time. The attention I got from these guys was insane and addictive. Each post I feminized myself a little more until I looked somewhat passable.

Then the vacation a few weeks ago. Buddy and I decided to go to Thailand and had a normal vacation up until he left early. I was alone there for a 4 nights. The very first night I got insanely horny and decided to play dress up again. I luckily brought most of my feminine stuff I keep in a small carryon. It’s usually I just dress up, chat with boys on here or grinder until I get myself off and then feel deep shame and “quit” for a week until I come back. Addictions stronger than before.

But this time was different, I played with myself dressed up and decided fuck it. Nobody here knows who I am. I decided dressed up in makeup, lingerie, and a wig that I need to “run to 7/11” real quick. I should’ve stayed in my hotel.

The hotel was right next to Patong walking street which is where the “ladyboys” of Phuket hang around. If you ever visit that place you know. It is bright, overstimulating and packed with tourists. I felt eyes on me immediately. Men stared, whistled, shouted “ladyboy!” and “beautiful.” A group of what I assume are drunk Russians grabbed my ass as I passed, laughing when I yelped. Two backpackers in their 20s walked right up, one touching my tits while the other slapped my ass and called me a “sexy trap.” I didn’t pull away. I let them. My face burned with shame but my tiny dick was leaking in my panties. I kept walking, heels clicking, feeling hands brush and touch me every few minutes. Random fingers tracing my hips, slapping my ass, one guy even pinching my nipple through the dress and laughing at how red I turned.

I walked all the way down that street and back. As I was standing there catching my breath on the edge of the beach road, still flushed and adjusting my dress, he approached me. Spanish guy, mid-50s, on vacation from Madrid. He didn’t hesitate. He walked straight up, looked me up and down, and said “You are very pretty, eh? I saw you walking… you like the attention, no?” I nodded, voice soft and girly. He laughed low, put his hand on my waist like he already owned me, and told me his hotel was just around the corner.

He grabbed my hand and led me like a trophy he won. At this moment something came over me. I wasn’t a boy playing dress up. I actually felt like a woman. I felt like this whole different person took over.

I knew exactly what I was doing of course. We barely made it into his room before I dropped to my knees first. I wanted it. I begged for it. He called me his little faggot while I sucked him, mascara running as I choked myself on his cock. When he bent me over the bed I arched my back like a whore in heat, panties ripped aside, and pushed back onto him raw. It hurt at first but I moaned for more. He fucked me deep and rough, slapping my ass, choking me like the broken slut I’d become. He finished inside me twice. I loved every second of it. The feeling of being used, filled, completely girly.

I didn’t clean up. I pulled my ruined panties back on, felt his warm cum already starting to leak down my thighs, and left his room on shaky legs. The walk back to my hotel was only ten minutes but it felt eternal.

Every step made more of it drip. These thick, sticky trails running down my inner thighs, soaking into my stockings. I could feel it cooling in the night air, smell it faintly with every movement.

People passed me on the busy street and I swear some of them noticed. A guy on a motorbike slowed and smirked. Two girls giggled and pointed at the wet shine on my legs. The massage girls smiling at me. I kept my head down, heels clicking, ass still sore and gaping, my leaky dick straining through my chastity cage, rubbing against the cum-soaked panties. The shame burned hotter than the sex itself.

I lay there in my hotel mirror later, staring at the girl with smeared makeup and a wrecked body, cum still slowly leaking onto the cheap sheets. I don’t know who I hate more. This man for giving me exactly what I craved, or the pathetic boy who halfway around the world to turn himself into this cumdump.

I just wanted to feel wanted. Instead I got exactly what I begged for… and I already know I’d dress up and walk that street again.

It all started with porn. Years of sissy hypno videos, forced feminization captions, and trap porn that slowly rewired my brain. At first it was just jerk-off sessions in panties. Then full outfits, voice training, the Thailand trip. Every clip of a boy becoming a cumdump led me here . Used on Patong Beach like public meat, fucked raw by a stranger, walking back leaking his load down my legs for everyone to see. And the sickest part? I love it. I love how empty and used I feel. I love the shame that makes me leak. I love that the old me is gone and t and this broken, horny girl is all that’s left. I don’t think I can ever stop now.

If any boys are reading this and feeling that pull. Delete the porn today. Block the hypno accounts, throw away the panties. That first video seems harmless, but it rewires you one session at a time until you’re booking flights to Thailand and spreading your legs for strangers while your old life disappears. Stay away from the mirror in makeup. Stay away from the comments that call you pretty. Once you start walking that beach, there’s no real way back. Save yourself before you end up like me, leaking cum in a foreign hotel and loving how destroyed you are.

TLDR: Turned myself into a fuckable girl in Thailand, got used like a whore on Patong Beach, let a Spanish tourist who approached me on the street use me, then walked back to my hotel with his cum dripping down my legs. Porn and slow feminization destroyed me… and I fucking love it.

Super long post with TLDR at end. I just need to get this off my mind.

Background: Around 2020 this descent started. I was a completely straight guy who got addicted to porn and used sissy hypno/captions to get off for the last 6 years. It started slowly. Bought my first pair of panties, then bras, then whole outfits. Each time I pushed myself a little bit more. Wigs, makeup, nail polish. Then I decided to post myself online to several of these sissy/femboy subreddits. That’s where the “issues” really started. Posted progress pics on throwaway accounts, chatted with guys as “Emma.” It felt euphoric. I loved the attention, the validation, feeling pretty and desired for the first time. The attention I got from these guys was insane and addictive. Each post I feminized myself a little more until I looked somewhat passable.

Then the vacation a few weeks ago. Buddy and I decided to go to Thailand and had a normal vacation up until he left early. I was alone there for a 4 nights. The very first night I got insanely horny and decided to play dress up again. I luckily brought most of my feminine stuff I keep in a small carryon. It’s usually I just dress up, chat with boys on here or grinder until I get myself off and then feel deep shame and “quit” for a week until I come back. Addictions stronger than before.

But this time was different, I played with myself dressed up and decided fuck it. Nobody here knows who I am. I decided dressed up in makeup, lingerie, and a wig that I need to “run to 7/11” real quick. I should’ve stayed in my hotel.

The hotel was right next to Patong walking street which is where the “ladyboys” of Phuket hang around. If you ever visit that place you know. It is bright, overstimulating and packed with tourists. I felt eyes on me immediately. Men stared, whistled, shouted “ladyboy!” and “beautiful.” A group of what I assume are drunk Russians grabbed my ass as I passed, laughing when I yelped. Two backpackers in their 20s walked right up, one touching my tits while the other slapped my ass and called me a “sexy trap.” I didn’t pull away. I let them. My face burned with shame but my tiny dick was leaking in my panties. I kept walking, heels clicking, feeling hands brush and touch me every few minutes. Random fingers tracing my hips, slapping my ass, one guy even pinching my nipple through the dress and laughing at how red I turned.

I walked all the way down that street and back. As I was standing there catching my breath on the edge of the beach road, still flushed and adjusting my dress, he approached me. Spanish guy, mid-50s, on vacation from Madrid. He didn’t hesitate. He walked straight up, looked me up and down, and said “You are very pretty, eh? I saw you walking… you like the attention, no?” I nodded, voice soft and girly. He laughed low, put his hand on my waist like he already owned me, and told me his hotel was just around the corner.

He grabbed my hand and led me like a trophy he won. At this moment something came over me. I wasn’t a boy playing dress up. I actually felt like a woman. I felt like this whole different person took over.

I knew exactly what I was doing of course. We barely made it into his room before I dropped to my knees first. I wanted it. I begged for it. He called me his little faggot while I sucked him, mascara running as I choked myself on his cock. When he bent me over the bed I arched my back like a whore in heat, panties ripped aside, and pushed back onto him raw. It hurt at first but I moaned for more. He fucked me deep and rough, slapping my ass, choking me like the broken slut I’d become. He finished inside me twice. I loved every second of it. The feeling of being used, filled, completely girly.

I didn’t clean up. I pulled my ruined panties back on, felt his warm cum already starting to leak down my thighs, and left his room on shaky legs. The walk back to my hotel was only ten minutes but it felt eternal.

Every step made more of it drip. These thick, sticky trails running down my inner thighs, soaking into my stockings. I could feel it cooling in the night air, smell it faintly with every movement.

People passed me on the busy street and I swear some of them noticed. A guy on a motorbike slowed and smirked. Two girls giggled and pointed at the wet shine on my legs. The massage girls smiling at me. I kept my head down, heels clicking, ass still sore and gaping, my leaky dick straining through my chastity cage, rubbing against the cum-soaked panties. The shame burned hotter than the sex itself.

I lay there in my hotel mirror later, staring at the girl with smeared makeup and a wrecked body, cum still slowly leaking onto the cheap sheets. I don’t know who I hate more . This man for giving me exactly what I craved, or the pathetic boy who halfway around the world to turn himself into this cumdump.

I just wanted to feel wanted. Instead I got exactly what I begged for… and I already know I’d dress up and walk that street again.

It all started with porn. Years of sissy hypno videos, forced feminization captions, and trap porn that slowly rewired my brain. At first it was just jerk-off sessions in panties. Then full outfits, voice training, the Thailand trip. Every clip of a boy becoming a cumdump led me here . Used on Patong Beach like public meat, fucked raw by a stranger, walking back leaking his load down my legs for everyone to see. And the sickest part? I love it. I love how empty and used I feel. I love the shame that makes me leak. I love that the old me is gone and t and this broken, horny girl is all that’s left. I don’t think I can ever stop now.

If any boys are reading this and feeling that pull. Delete the porn today. Block the hypno accounts, throw away the panties. That first video seems harmless, but it rewires you one session at a time until you’re booking flights to Thailand and spreading your legs for strangers while your old life disappears. Stay away from the mirror in makeup. Stay away from the comments that call you pretty. Once you start walking that beach, there’s no real way back. Save yourself before you end up like me, leaking cum in a foreign hotel and loving how destroyed you are.

TLDR: Turned myself into a fuckable girl in Thailand, got used like a whore on Patong Beach, let a Spanish tourist who approached me on the street use me, then walked back to my hotel with his cum dripping down my legs. Porn and slow feminization destroyed me… and I fucking love it.