i’m sixteen but i can’t quit
i’m sixteen years old and i’ve done just about everything from weed to coke. since birth, i’ve had a special case of bipolar 2 where i have uncontrolled causeless depression, and i’ve tried to numb it away for my whole life. tried everything from meditation to meditation, but nothing’s worked like the drugs have. the problem is nothing fills the void like drugs yet i want to be sober. i know i can’t last long no matter what, but i don’t want to do drugs and od again. rehab’ll do nothing since i can’t change the root problem, and i can’t do anything like that since i can’t let my family know, there’s no way around that.
for those who’ve gotten sober and survived this layer of hell that’s drugs, how did you do it? i’ve been sober off my choice of pills for months, so i know it’s possible, but i just can’t fill that void that powder numbs, and i hate it. i’m so tempted to relapse on the benzos, but i can’t let myself fall. any advice helps, and thank you. best of wishes to you all in this fight.