u/Awkwardaditya

I need outside perspectives because I think I've lost objectivity at this point.

I have this male friend and over time we somehow became unusually close compared to my other friendships. Not just hanging out sometimes, but naturally becoming part of each other's daily life. We talk about studies, projects, stress, assignments, random updates, help each other with things, and spend a lot of time together.

The problem is that there are a lot of small things which individually could mean absolutely nothing, but together started confusing me.

For example, if I refuse plans like pool/snooker, he often keeps insisting and asking again. Sometimes I've literally told him to just take someone else and he's refused, saying things like "it's more fun with you." There have also been times where he made people wait specifically for me.

He also constantly targets me for teasing and reactions. If ten people are sitting together, somehow I become the main person he keeps provoking or pulling into things. But if someone seriously insults me, he'll usually shut it down.

There have also been moments of physical closeness and joking mixed in. Hand-holding, touching my waist/back, sexual jokes, "wife" jokes, "babygirl" jokes, etc. But then if I become more direct or joke back harder, he'll sometimes suddenly ignore it, act like nothing happened, or shift the conversation completely.

The problem is I know I also contributed to this dynamic. I matched the energy. I flirted back jokingly, sent reels, kept the whole thing going.

Recently I started pulling back because I was getting mentally exhausted from constantly trying to understand what anything meant. I reduced the flirting and tried treating him more like I treat my other friends.

Nothing dramatic happened after that. We barely talked for a couple of days.

But then I started getting confused about myself too.

I recently kept refusing plans because I genuinely didn't want to go. Later I found out they went without me and I still felt weird about it. That made me stop and think: if I didn't even want to go, then why did it bother me?

Am I upset because of him specifically? Because I wanted to feel included? Because I got used to getting extra attention from him? Or because I became emotionally attached somewhere without realizing it?

Please look at the overall pattern rather than one isolated moment.

I don't want "he definitely likes you" or "he's obviously straight."

I want actual opinions:

• What stands out objectively here?

• Am I seeing mixed signals that actually exist, or creating meaning from normal friendship behavior?

• Did I accidentally create part of this dynamic myself?

• Does this sound more like attachment/dependence than romance?

• How would you handle this without damaging the friendship?

Interested in hearing from people who've experienced something similar too.