Hello all. I never done this before so excuse my nervousness. I have been edging myself to hypno porn for over 10 years now, specifically cocksucking hypno. The idea of getting on my knees and looking up at an eager hard cock and serving him has absolutely ravaged my brain these years. Letting him slap his curves giant cock on my tongue and getting facefucked is my fantasy goal. It would be on and off every so month but when I return, the urge gets stronger.
Recently, I relapsed back into sissy hypno and it's starting to take its toll. I started letting my cock press against my underwear and not touching it but very liightly and just edging my brain out of my cock in the form of pre cum. I've literally gotten cock drunk multiple times these past few days. I been on sniffies lately but haven't been able to find to go through with anything. Talking to men and having them send cock pics makes me so horny that I cum and have BAD PNC and then just bail... Until a few hours later and I'm back to it.
I get off on reading stories about people sucking their first cocks and how magical and transformative it is (if you have stories I would love to read them. Send me a DM. It might help convince me). Like starting a new chapter in life. Finally being able suck cock on the level of porn gets me every time. Like it could be a hobby or something.
The unfortunate thing is I should have expressed these feelings when I was younger and single. Now I am 31, with a fiance, and getting very close to breaking. I don't want to live the rest of my life being curious and never living out my fantasy but always get too nervous to do anything.
What should I do? Should I finally give in and kneel in front of a cock? I feel it in my soul the pleasure of being subservient to a giant alpha cock. Or should I just let these fantasies be just that, fantasies.