Advice on bad second trip / possible psychosis or ego death?
Hi all, just looking for some advice to try and figure out what the hell happened with me and my trip partners experience the second time round on 2CB
so our first trip was 12.5 mg each, on an empty stomach, we both bombed powder in some water in a quiet front room, popped on a funny movie and had a decent time. We got super giggly and felt a little bit of a body load, colours were a little brighter and the ceiling was wavy but nothing intense.
Fast forward 4 months later, we both take 15mg in gelatine capsules (not pressed pills). We weighed this with 3 sets of calibrated microscales which all displayed the same weight, which we regent tested with multiple regents and got the correct colours for. We had it after having a meal. We took it before going to a club, walking through a busy city street but it kicked in before we got there, the floors and walls started shifting in that standard psychedelic pattern, and sounds got very intensely loud, with neon signs on walls being almost unbearable to look at. It got so intense we had to sit at a bus stop to book an Uber home, however when we sat down the trip got so, so much more intense
It is really hard to describe, but we both had bad time distortion, telling eachother 'this is a bad trip' and ' it's okay, we just need to wait until it ends' over and over again, with me turning to my partner and saying 'wait, how did we get here?' at least 5 times. An ambulance drove past with the sirens going off and it felt like the sound was splitting my head , at one point I touched my eyes as I couldn't tell if they were open or shut
I felt what I could only describe as how I imagine ego death feels - I was seeing visuals and neverending thought trails not knowing who I really was anymore; I knew that the person I was tripping with was someone I was romantically involved with, but I didn't know who he really was or how we got to be involved with eachother. I was seeing supposed hallucinations of paramedics swarming us as I felt I was astral projecting seeing my dead body on the floor. I forgot how to form sentences only to follow that thought up with 'human language is a made up concept, but what concepts are constant in existence' alongside questioning what existence really was and who I was. I drifted in and out of consciousness, having moments of recognition that I was infact tripping balls, but the constant fear that this trip was either neverending, or I had taken something which revealed 'true reality to me' like I had been living in the matrix, and this was going to be my constant existence for as long as possible. It felt like I was being revealed the truth to human concepts and had moments where I thought 'this trip is going to last until tomorrow and I am going to get fired ' followed by wondering why that would even matter.
My partner called out for help, or thought he was. People seemed to ignore us. It got to the point where I thought ' this can't be right, this is practically the same amount we took last time' and told him ' we need to go to hospital' as I was pretty convinced during my moments of consciousness that I am going to die. My partner turned to me during a moment of consciousness and said 'i have literally lost all concept of reality', and laughed at this realisation that I felt the same
When it started to wear off, and I was not blinded by visuals, I was seeing rotating mandalas and patterns in the corners of my eyes, and was still seeing hallucinations of paramedics like an image burned into a tv screen. I also threw up. I was fully convinced when we were back at the hotel room that it was NOT the one we checked into and was convinced someone else would return, however my partner seemed ok mentally but then. He did however look like a Fortnite character, which his arms enlarged and his proportions distortions . I also saw coloured water dripping from the walls, and my features seemed distorted.
Was this psychosis? Was this an example of how much environment matters? Was our batch botched? Was it the method of ingestion?
We regent tested, and weighed to the T. I have done mushrooms and 2CB before this trip, and it was practically the same weighed amount as the trip we had watching TV which didn't turn me schizo. Really confused why it was so intense, and so terrifying. I was pretty terrified I had accidentally initiated a permanent trip and would never go back to normal.