Follow up on previous post about sex-less marriage
Firstly, sorry to come here with my sob story and interrupt the flow of this sub. Idk where else to turn.
Check my previous post for context.
So, things were improving between hubs and me for a while. He went back to the uro, got on some meds etc, and I ended up pregnant. He always wanted another child and was happy (I had multiple miscarriages and had made peace with having just one child, but was happy with the news).
Sex life dried up a bit but we talked about it and committed to non-negotiable sex at least once weekly. Sex was really enjoyable, I tried opening up to get him to share his fantasies, desires, what kinda porn he watches, would send suggestive pics and be flirty etc. Note he still needs meds to maintain an erection.
I recently found out that he has been chatting with other women again. Atp, I can only deduce that he never actually stopped. Saw some pics going back to when I was first pregnant, which was a bit shocking since he had originally said it happened postpartum. This behaviour now spans over 6yrs.
The chats aren't just exchanging pics, but one in particular seems like he's pursuing the woman (making convo, asking for regular pics, complimenting her etc). One message he complimented her underboob. Another he said he was horny, she told him go home to his wife, and he replied that I wasn't home and asked where she was. I didn't see a reply so maybe they had a phone convo or something.
Tbh idk why I'm posting this or what I hope to get lol - maybe advice or perspective. Just pls don't send me dick pics.
Where do ppl in relationships meet other ppl for hook ups apart from work and the dating apps?
Suggestions for how to bring this up with him? I'm considering mandating that he sees a psych and work through why he does this, and if he concludes that he can't/doesn't want to stop then see what the next steps are.
Ppl said with ED and low T he has no desire and there's a psychological component, but clearly he still has urges and doesn't turn to me with them. I'm tired of begging for what I should be getting from my spouse. I offer myself up on a platter and still. I'm not the hottest thing out but definitely attractive and have actually been getting more attention while pregs.
I'm ready to pop (so too far along to end the preg) and not looking to be a single mother esp with a newborn, but I can't trust anything he says now and don't know how to live with this. I'm barely sleeping or eating, no clue how to deal with this long term. Doesn't seem like he'll stop and I can't leave atp, complicated with small children, mortgage, joint assets etc. Sigh.