32 [F4A] #Online #California. Vulnerability, Honesty and Submission.
Hey all,
This post is a long time coming, I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently and although I'm very experienced with BDSM in general, being part of the community for over 10 years, I've realized I have a real need for giving submission to someone.
All through my life I've enjoyed giving acts of service as a way to show love and care to friends, family, and others. But after reading a number of really great resources and talking to doms I know, I've realized that what I'm really craving is a 24/7 D/s relationship. A relationship where I can give myself fully and completely and be submissive.
I get a lot of joy giving those acts of service and being able to turn off my brain while I do what I'm told. But its more than that, its the level of respect and trust that the submissive gives to the dominate. As much as I take care of other people and do whatever I can for them, I do have habit of setting myself on fire to keep other people warm. I would trust a Dom to help me put myself first and would be happy if our relationship had that as part of the structure (Exercise/meditation/etc)
Of course I'm interested in the more sexual aspects but I think the gift of complete submission goes outside the bedroom as well. It calms me, directs me, removes the stress of being unsure or uncertain.
It obviously takes a long time to develop the emotional and intellectual intimacy and trust but I'm willing to put in the work as long as that work is matched by someone else and we can be on the journey together.
I'm happy to start online with the understanding that eventually (can be years) I'd want to be able to physically be together. As far as how we start online, I just want to get to know you. I want to know how you dom, I want to know what you expect from your subs and if we're a good fit. We can begin as friends and negotiate from there.
As I said I recognize how much work this takes to build this trust to really give someone complete submission but its something that I need in my life.
I hope to talk to you all soon.