u/DeepOutcome8774

This happened in 2010.

I always had a high libido. When I was a kid, I always wanted to speak to girls, be around them, and fuck them. I used to roleplay situations in my head about how I would fuck my classmates inside the classrooms. As far as I can remember, I don't even know when I was first aroused sexually; I always had a thing for it. I had multiple tries, but never succeeded until I was 18.

There was this girl during my first year of Bachelors. We were from a mid-tier city university in Andhra Pradesh. She was not the most beautiful girl in the college, but when we first looked at each other, we knew we had a thing for each other in a lustful way. We exchanged our Facebook IDs, and the boring conversation happened for some weeks. One day, I messaged her asking, "Do you want to go bunking college without anyone knowing?" She hesitated at first but accepted, as I obviously knew she would. I asked where, and she said, "I know many places in the city, but it should be private." I asked, "Do you want to come to my place?" She said no, as I had roommates and it was risky. I asked, "Do you want to go to a hotel? We can stay and play cards." Again, there was a bit of hesitation, but she finally accepted.

At that moment, I was 100 percent sure this was happening. I was excited. I went to the pharmacy and bought condoms for the first time. I booked a medium-tier hotel, and she asked me to check in first and then she would come there. As planned, I did. I had a different feeling, like my heart was flying in the air. I checked in and was in the room when she called for the room number and came inside. It was just a room with nowhere to sit. I had a Coke and offered her some; she took a sip and we talked. She said, "I am very afraid, I've never did this. Do the police come?" I never thought about any of that; all I was thinking about was having sex for the first time. I was rock hard down there.

I asked, "Do you want to lie down?" She said, "No, let's play cards." I said, "I forgot to bring them." She then asked, "Why did we meet here?" I said, "Nothing, just for fun." I asked her to lie down again and she did. I put my hand on her stomach. I knew she wanted it, but I couldn't make it obvious. I know women resist at first because they don't want it to be obvious. I tried to bring my hand a bit up to the lower part of her boobs. She was like, "Nooooo, I didn't come here for that." I said okay, but I kept doing it. Finally, I had my hand under her dress on her stomach, touching her bra inside. She said "no," and I was like, "It's okay, it's fine. I am just keeping my hand there."

Slowly, I moved my hand on top of her right boob. She said "nooooooo" but didn't stop it. With a little courage, I got my hand inside the bra and got a hold of it. She was like, "Omg." She said something was happening to her, and I told her it would be fine. I was forcing to move the bra completely down, but it was tight. She helped loosen it. She had a tight top and was afraid I would tear it. She took off the top and kept the bra on. Those boobs were a real size, I think 32DD, and tight. She asked me to turn the light off, so I did. I was there looking at those boobs and pressing them from the top, and in the next 5 minutes, I removed the bra completely and had them in my mouth, licking them.

While doing that, I slowly moved my hand down. She said, "Noooo, please." I said, "It will be fine." With a little hesitation, I got my hand inside and onto her pussy; it was wet. She let out a little moan but was controlling it. All I was doing was licking her, fingering her pussy, and kissing her. I was really hard. I pulled my dick out and pulled her pants down. I was on top of her. I took the condom and wore it, I wasn't sure which side was which, but I put it on. I was on top of her with one hand on a boob and the other adjusting my dick into her pussy. It didn't even take a second; it went inside.

The moment it went inside, I hardly had it there for 30 seconds before I came. My mind was fucking gone, and that was it. I was done like that. My mind was not feeling good, not because I came fast, but because of something else. I wanted to get out of there. She tried to talk to me a bit, but I couldn't stay there anymore. I told her, "Let's leave," and we left. I talked to her the next day, and we did it again many times after that. But the first time was different.

I always had a high libido. When I was a kid, I always wanted to speak to girls, be around them, and fuck them. I used to roleplay situations in my head about how I would fuck my classmates inside the classrooms. As far as I can remember, I don't even know when I was first aroused sexually; I always had a thing for it. I had multiple tries, but never succeeded until I was 18.

There was this girl during my first year of Bachelors. We were from a mid-tier city university in Andhra Pradesh. She was not the most beautiful girl in the college, but when we first looked at each other, we knew we had a thing for each other in a lustful way. We exchanged our Facebook IDs, and the boring conversation happened for some weeks. One day, I messaged her asking, "Do you want to go bunking college without anyone knowing?" She hesitated at first but accepted, as I obviously knew she would. I asked where, and she said, "I know many places in the city, but it should be private." I asked, "Do you want to come to my place?" She said no, as I had roommates and it was risky. I asked, "Do you want to go to a hotel? We can stay and play cards." Again, there was a bit of hesitation, but she finally accepted.

At that moment, I was 100 percent sure this was happening. I was excited. I went to the pharmacy and bought condoms for the first time. I booked a medium-tier hotel, and she asked me to check in first and then she would come there. As planned, I did. I had a different feeling, like my heart was flying in the air. I checked in and was in the room when she called for the room number and came inside. It was just a room with nowhere to sit. I had a Coke and offered her some; she took a sip and we talked. She said, "I am very afraid, I've never did this. Do the police come?" I never thought about any of that; all I was thinking about was having sex for the first time. I was rock hard down there.

I asked, "Do you want to lie down?" She said, "No, let's play cards." I said, "I forgot to bring them." She then asked, "Why did we meet here?" I said, "Nothing, just for fun." I asked her to lie down again and she did. I put my hand on her stomach. I knew she wanted it, but I couldn't make it obvious. I know women resist at first because they don't want it to be obvious. I tried to bring my hand a bit up to the lower part of her boobs. She was like, "Nooooo, I didn't come here for that." I said okay, but I kept doing it. Finally, I had my hand under her dress on her stomach, touching her bra inside. She said "no," and I was like, "It's okay, it's fine. I am just keeping my hand there."

Slowly, I moved my hand on top of her right boob. She said "nooooooo" but didn't stop it. With a little courage, I got my hand inside the bra and got a hold of it. She was like, "Omg." She said something was happening to her, and I told her it would be fine. I was forcing to move the bra completely down, but it was tight. She helped loosen it. She had a tight top and was afraid I would tear it. She took off the top and kept the bra on. Those boobs were a real size, I think 32DD, and tight. She asked me to turn the light off, so I did. I was there looking at those boobs and pressing them from the top, and in the next 5 minutes, I removed the bra completely and had them in my mouth, licking them.

While doing that, I slowly moved my hand down. She said, "Noooo, please." I said, "It will be fine." With a little hesitation, I got my hand inside and onto her pussy; it was wet. She let out a little moan but was controlling it. All I was doing was licking her, fingering her pussy, and kissing her. I was really hard. I pulled my dick out and pulled her pants down. I was on top of her. I took the condom and wore it, I wasn't sure which side was which, but I put it on. I was on top of her with one hand on a boob and the other adjusting my dick into her pussy. It didn't even take a second; it went inside.

The moment it went inside, I hardly had it there for 30 seconds before I came. My mind was fucking gone, and that was it. I was done like that. My mind was not feeling good, not because I came fast, but because of something else. I wanted to get out of there. She tried to talk to me a bit, but I couldn't stay there anymore. I told her, "Let's leave," and we left. I talked to her the next day, and we did it again many times after that. But the first time was different.

I really want to understand why people cheat. I am a compulsive cheat myself, it’s like I try not to but I somehow end up doing it anyway. I regret it immediately after, but I have very little self-control in the moment.

What are your thoughts? Has anyone else dealt with this or figured out why they can't stop?

Out of nowhere she suddenly stopped and pushed herself away from me.

She looked completely shocked and kept saying, “What the fuck… you are my friend… you are married… I have a boyfriend… this can’t happen.”

I was honestly shocked too.

She rushed to the bathroom while talking loudly and crying a little. I was scared everyone upstairs would hear us. My heart was beating so fast and suddenly all the guilt hit me at once.

After some time she came back slowly and sat near me quietly.

We talked for a while and she kept saying she felt dirty and guilty, like a slut for what happened between us. I tried to calm her down and told her we were both drunk and caught up in the moment.

But even after all that, somehow we ended up kissing again.

And once we started again, it became exactly the same. Hot, messy and completely out of control. We removed each other’s clothes properly this time and the whole room felt heavy with heat and alcohol.

She was moaning loudly this time, and I had to cover her mouth with my hand to keep her quiet because people were upstairs sleeping. She kept grabbing me harder every time I kissed or bit her neck and boobs.

Then suddenly she got on top of me and started riding me slowly.

I honestly cannot even explain how it felt in that moment. My mind was completely blank. It felt unreal, like I was somewhere else completely.

After some time she started moving faster and faster while looking straight into my eyes. I remember telling her softly, “Stop… I’m about to finish.”... she didnt I adn I came inside her. I belive she came tooo not sure.

After that both of us just lay there breathing heavily for some time.

We talked again for almost thirty minutes about us, about our friendship, about how wrong everything was. But somehow we still ended up pulling each other close again like we were addicted to each other.

After everything was over, we went to the bathroom to cleanup and looking in light at her from all the kissing and biting. she had hickeys all over her boobs and neck. it looked like I had abused her.

That is when reality started hitting both of us properly.

She kept saying this was all wrong and that we cannot continue being friends after this. I was lying there staring at the ceiling thinking about morning, my marriage, her boyfriend, and how badly we had messed everything up.

Then after almost an hour she slowly leaned towards me again and whispered, “Kiss me.”

I told her I honestly had no energy left because I was exhausted already, but the moment she started kissing me again, everything came back.

We ended up touching and kissing each other again before finally falling asleep together.

Morning was terrible.

She became completely quiet and distant. No smiling, no eye contact, nothing.

She told me we cannot continue this friendship anymore after what happened.

I tried to talk to her before leaving, but she had already emotionally checked out.

I left her place feeling sick in my stomach.

After that she did not call or message me for almost two months.

Even now I still think about that night sometimes. Not only because of the sex, but because in one night we destroyed a friendship that survived for 7 years.

The moment we entered the bedroom, everything felt different.

Both of us were standing near the bed pretending to act normal, but the tension between us was already too much by then.

She was looking directly into my eyes and I could still see her cleavage clearly in that dim light. My mind was completely gone at that point.

we immediately started kissing with the rush of lust.

Not soft kissing. It felt hungry, rough and desperate. We were licking each others saliva so bad that I dont remeber nothing except here tongue. I could taste beer on her lips while she kept pulling me closer by my shirt.

We could not stop kissing each other.

Every time I pulled back for one second, she pulled me close again. My hands were around her waist and back while her body stayed pressed fully against mine. I could feel her breathing getting heavier after every kiss.

At one point I stopped and looked at her properly.

Messy hair, swollen lips from kissing, drunk eyes looking straight at me, and her boobs almost falling out from that top. She noticed me staring and instead of hiding herself, she moved even closer to me.

That completely destroyed whatever control I still had left.

We fell onto the bed still kissing. We were looking at each other in the low light. I could see her cleavage clearly and I was staring right at it. She slowly pulled one of her boobs out completely, and I completely lost control.

I buried my face into her boobs and started licking them. Trust me, those were the best boobs I had ever touched till today. I was licking one while squeezing the other, switching between kissing, licking and lightly biting around her nipples, her neck and lips for what felt like a long time.

I don’t even remember how much time passed because of the drinking, but somehow I was still conscious enough to ask her softly, “Can I go down?”

She looked at me with her drunk eyes and said, “Should you even ask?”

I slowly slid my fingers inside her pants while kissing her, and the moment my hand touched her, she was already completely wet. It felt so warm and slippery that my fingers went inside her immediately.

She moaned softly into my mouth while I kept kissing her.

Somehow I managed to pull my pants down and she whispered my name and said, “Fuck me.”

I got on top of her while still kissing her boobs and neck. We started having sex in missionary position and honestly I cannot explain how intense it felt. Every time I thought I was about to finish, I stopped myself and went down on her again.

I remember licking her while she kept moaning my name softly, my hands on her boobs the whole time, squeezing them while she pulled at my hair and pressed herself harder against me.

Out of nowhere she suddenly stopped and pushed herself away from me.

She looked completely shocked and kept saying, What the fuck… you are my friend… you are married… I have a boyfriend… this can’t happen.

She was my best friend for 7 years. nothing ever happened between us all those years. Even after I got married and moved to another city, we still stayed very close.

One thing about both of us was drinking. Once we start drinking beer, we don’t stop easily. That night also started casually after my work. We met common friends at a bar and one beer became many beers very quickly.

At the bar we were sitting opposite each other. At one point we locked eyes and it did not feel friendly anymore. It felt lustful. The type of eye contact where both people understand something without saying anything.

After some time she went to pee, we she came back she sat beside me.

Later while going back in the car, she sat beside me in the back seat. She was very drunk, leaning into me while laughing, talking loudly and touching my arm every time she spoke. She was wearing a low neck top and honestly she looked unbelievably sexy that night.

She always had a curvy body and big boobs 34DD that were hard not to notice, but that night it felt impossible to look anywhere else.

At one point she looked directly into my eyes and slowly pulled her top slightly lower while leaning closer to me. I could suddenly see much more of her cleavage, she was wearing a red bra OMG too hot, and she just kept staring at me while doing it. That eye contact completely ruined my mind.

I tried to look away because our friends were sitting in the front seat, but every few seconds my eyes went back to her boobs again. She noticed it too. Instead of stopping, she leaned even more into me with this teasing smile on her face like she enjoyed seeing me struggle to control myself. My heart was beating fast, I was really anxious and my mind was completely thinking about those boobs, and fucking her.

I pulled her closer into a hug to stop her from exposing herself too much in front of everyone, she just rested against my chest comfortably and looked up at me again with that same look.

That was the moment I knew something was going to happen between us that night.

When we reached her place, she asked me to stay for two more beers. I told her I would leave after that. But honestly, inside me, I did not want to leave anymore. I had my laptop in the car too.

Some friends slept upstairs while we stayed with some other frnds downstairs for some more time. She came and leaned on my chest while sitting beside me on the sofa. I put my hand around her waist and pulled her slightly closer.

I still remember how soft and warm her hip felt. all I could think is her, she really hot with that nose ring,

We were barely talking by then. Just looking at each other again and again.

After some time we walked into her bedroom upstaris together.

The moment the door closed, both of us became silent.

And that is where everything changed.