Hey guys , give me some inputs please.
I’ve been seeing this woman for a few weeks now. She’s about 6 years older than me, and in many ways, it’s more than what I deserve , and am really grateful,
She’s incredibly caring, takes me out to fancy dinners, and has essentially been giving me the "sugar baby" treatment. She’s generous and clearly into me.
The problem is the sexual disconnect.
Before we met, she talked a MASSIVE game. She complained about her past sex life being "boring," said she was craving someone wild and kinky, and her texts were 10/10 in terms of intensity. I was expecting a firecracker.
Instead, in person, she’s a totally different person.She’s completely passive, has zero initiative, and doesn't do any of the stuff she claimed to be obsessed with.
The weirdest part?
I’ve tried to communicate. During the act, I’ll ask if she’s okay or what she wants, and she’ll tell me she’s "having the best time of her life. the moment it’s over—and for days after—she won't stop talking about it. She sends me these incredibly descriptive, sexy texts about exactly what I did to her, how it made her feel, and how "intense" it was. She’ll describe the way I touched her or the way I took control in a way that sounds unreal and hard to believe
"We just had our third meeting, and honestly… I’m bored. The fancy dinners and the "treatment" are amazing, but I feel like I’m performing for someone who just lies there, which is the exact opposite of the adventurous woman she sold me on via text.
I feel like a jerk because she’s so nice and spends so much on our dates, but the physical dissatisfaction is making me want to pull away. Reality is she has no idea how to actually be that person.
How do I express this without sounding ungrateful for everything else she does?
Is it possible to "wake up" someone who is this passive, or is the text-version of her just a total fantasy that doesn't exist?