* No experience needed, applicant will be trained
* Paid in memes and pup pics
* Must work weekends and holidays
* Must be fluent in sarcasm
* Must come in early and stay late
* Benefits include being my bff and that’s about the best benefit ever.
I'm guessing you're wanting to know about me now huh? Well you're in luck because I feel like sharing some Fun Hobbies (lol jk they aren't fun at all, kinda sad TBH) I like to partake in, here there are!
Hobbies include...
* Switching between the same 4 apps for hours.
* Not speaking to anyone for days at a time.
* Listening to the same songs i listened to 15 years ago.
* Putting myself in situations that will never exist
* Long walks to the liquor store.
* Staying in my pajamas way too long.
* Staying up wayyyy too late.
* Being tired all day due to previous statement.
* Drinking everything but water.
* Putting stuff in my cart online but never checking out.
* Making lists of things i will never do.
So yeah! If that sounds like your type of friend, hit me with an orange envelope. Mention the phrase Pineapple on pizza so I know you read the entire thing please 😊