I (F18) am not sure if I am the luckiest or unluckiest girl in the world. I know it’s confusing let me explain. It’s long I’m sorry I have a lot to vent.
I was a relatively normal girl, just really a bit on the crazy side because of my hyper sexuality (don’t watch porn early). This I guess allowed me explore some new desires. One of those happened to be incest.
Anyways my dad’s like actually stunning. He’s not super fit or tall, but he’s just like a real man. Idk if that makes any sense. He’s also like always been super close with me while my mom was not there.
For us hugging and cuddling was fairly normal, and I know he watched a lot of porn too because he never had a gf since mom, so it only made sense.
One night I walked into his room while he was asleep and I woke him up asking if I could sleep with him acting like I was scared. We cuddled and I waited until he fell asleep and I was just licking his neck. I didn’t stop I licked it like a popsicle and he was just sleeping the whole time (I assume). I was so freaking turned on I had to keep doing it.
A few nights later we were cuddling watching a movie and I licked it again. He was awake this time but he didn’t even react. I licked it again and he just smiled. I kept licking and I could tell he loved it, he just leaned his head back until he almost snapped out of his trance. He moved me away and went into his room and locked his door.
I was hurt and just figured I’d go to bed too, but clearly he was not done with me. He walked into my room at like 2am and apologized to me, hugged me, held my face and kissed me. It felt like he was out of control almost, I kinda loved it. We made out for so long it was such a magical night, but he made it a point to never let it escalate.
We have been hooking up for months now and his rule has always been to never escalate past kissing. I’ll take what I can get. The issue lies with my dating life. I wouldn’t ever date anyone I wasn’t serious about potentially marrying and my dad wouldn’t want me to marry anyone that doesn’t know about him and I.
I had a serious relationship with a guy for like 2 years (I know I’m 18 I was dumb). I thought he was like actually my dream guy so I told him about my dad and I. Yeah bad idea he dumped me and spread rumours about me. My dad and I had to move because of it. Now I am just afraid to get intimate with anyone, which sucks because I love dating, but I also really love my dad. That’s kinda why I feel lucky yet unlucky at the same time.
Well that’s about it, thanks for letting me vent a bit.