u/Kind_Ad_3537

She wants that dynamic… but I’m not stepping out of mine

Post:

My wife and I recently explored bringing another guy into the picture during a massage, and it turned into something more.

Afterward, we talked about it openly.

She told me she liked it and wants more. What draws her in is that dynamic — being able to let go while I’m there, watching her in that space with someone else.

I understand the appeal. I even felt parts of it myself.

But I also know where I stand.

I’m not someone who’s going to fully step back and exist only on the sidelines. That kind of one-sided setup doesn’t work for me.

So I told her clearly: if we continue this, it has to be balanced. I’m open to exploring together, but I’m not giving up my own space in the process. I’d want the freedom to be with other women too.

She didn’t shut it down, but she needed time to think about that part.

Now we’re working through it, but I’m holding one line — whatever this becomes, it won’t be at the cost of who I am in it.

Curious how others handled this kind of dynamic without it turning into a one-way thing.