u/LINEFRIENDSBROWN

im chinese and christian and before last month i didnt even know what raceplay meant

this is going to be really bad and just a dump of all my messy thoughts so im so sorry

i grew up in church and honestly genuinely believe in God. i love going and being involved at church and dont feel any conflicts there. i have an asian boyfriend and i really like genuinely like him and feel so connected with him

i think genuinely ive lost my mind because just constantly seeing mixed couples in my area has me thinking about it and asking my friends about it constantly and theyre seeing it too. then it just becomes this nagging thing i keep seeing and its driving me nuts. then i start wondering why and then start spiralling. i found a few posts of people describing their raceplay experiences and its just been wrecking me since

i just keep scrolling and reading these posts even though i know its not healthy or good for me but my brain is just feeling so crazy. when i see a story from a guy talking about their experience with asian girls i feel so messed up inside. i like know this is terrible and horrible because its not who i am and dont want to hurt my boyfriend? at the same time i just keep doomscrolling