u/No_Lieutenant_2181

▲ 20 r/r4rDFW

43 [F4M] McKinney-ish | Seeking a meaningful, long-term FWB for the End Times

TL; DR

MY STATS:
- 43 / F / 5'4" / Size 12-14 / C-D Cup
- DDF / 420 friendly (I have an Rx)
- White, curly brown hair, blue eyes
- Recently divorced (for biblical reasons on his part)
- No kids (can't have them — but l'd probably love yours)

I am NOT looking for:
- a husband by next Thursday
- an invitation to join your polycule
- a situationship with a man who’s diagnosed himself with “avoidant attachment” instead of going to therapy
- someone who thinks “dominant” is a substitute for a personality
- a guy who opens with “hey beautiful” and then immediately starts describing his penis like he’s giving me specs on a new F150
- sadists
- or any sort of short-term or non-monogamous vibes (NO ONS / NSA / ENM etc.)

Honestly, what I’m looking for is pretty simple:
mutual attraction, emotional safety, chemistry, consistency, laughter, good conversation, companionship, sexual compatibility, and genuine affection without pretending we’re robots who feel nothing.

LONG TERM and IRL only. Because…honestly, I’m too old for that shit…

Basically:
friends.
Good friends.
With benefits.
Heavy emphasis on the “friends” part.

Let’s hang out and do it…A LOT! And if things happen to develop into something more, GREAT! If not, I still want to be friends. For real.

I want you to matter to me. And for me to matter to you. No matter how things shake out. Sincerely.

ABOUT ME
Former expat (Londoner). Writer. Smartass. Big personality. Bigger ass. Simultaneously intimidating and deeply silly. I can discuss theology, music theory, geopolitics, enjoyable sexual activities, and why John Goodman was incredibly underrated in The Big Lebowski — all in the same conversation.

Admittedly, I was in a terrible (and sexless) marriage for a VERY long time, so I need you to be willing to go slowly and get to know me before we get busy. Lemme be completely honest with you: I haven’t had sex since 2023 and I don’t want to immediately hop in bed with just anyone.

Friends, remember?

Unfortunately, I’m not the kind of person who can just have meaningless sex.

That all being said, I have a crazy high libido.

And ok, YES, I admit it — I am submissive. But only with someone I trust DEEPLY. I assure you — the only thing vanilla about me is my body lotion. BUT, at the same time, this ride ain’t for everyone.

We can talk kinks and limits AFTER we’re friends.

Might come as a surprise, but I’m also a faithful Christian…obvs, I struggle with sin. Like we all do. Don’t worry, I won’t witness to you during aftercare…unless you want me to. Hot.

I like karaoke, old movies, weird internet rabbit holes, bookstores, emotionally intelligent men, fellow brainiacs, good coffee, road trips, and people who know how to be normal after 10pm…and before 10pm…ok, at any time when linear time is involved.

I’m drawn to masculine energy, competency, protectiveness, wit, emotional steadiness, and men who know how to lead without being a dick about it.

ABOUT YOU
- emotionally literate
- funny
- smart
- DDF (including no cold sores)
- not secretly (or openly) married
- not secretly (or openly) taken
- not secretly (or openly) illiterate
- capable of communication
- 7.5”, thick, and cut (being circumcised is non-negotiable)
- must enjoy giving oral, not just receiving (I promise, I gotchu)
- relatively attractive? (I’m not superficial, but I do have eyeballs…personality counts for a LOT with me though, so shoot your shot)

Age-wise, probably 30s to early 50s-ish. But, really, who cares?

However old you are, PLEASE — for the love of all that’s holy — be able to keep up with me in the sack.

Last thing:
I’m clearly not offended by sexuality. I’m offended by being boring. There’s a difference.

If you message me, tell me:

  1. ⁠what you’re ACTUALLY looking for
  2. ⁠your most unhinged but harmless opinion
  3. ⁠and what made you respond to my post specifically

And gentlemen:
if your opening message sounds like something that could someday be quoted in a true crime TV show, please reconsider. This relationship ain’t big enough for two serial m*rderers…and that’s MY thing.

DFW area preferred.

Good luck to everyone searching for their someone! Much love, yall. It’s tough out there!

reddit.com
u/No_Lieutenant_2181 — 9 days ago

43 [F4M] DFW | Seeking a meaningful, long-term FWB for the End Times

TL; DR

MY STATS:
- 43 / F / 5'4" / Size 12-14 / C-D Cup
- DDF / 420 friendly (I have an Rx)
- White, curly brown hair, blue eyes
- Recently divorced (for biblical reasons on his part)
- No kids (can't have them — but l'd probably love yours)

I am NOT looking for:
- a husband by next Thursday
- an invitation to join your polycule
- a situationship with a man who’s diagnosed himself with “avoidant attachment” instead of going to therapy
- someone who thinks “dominant” is a substitute for a personality
- a guy who opens with “hey beautiful” and then immediately starts describing his penis like he’s giving me specs on a new F150
- sadists
- guys who are anything but hetero (sorry!)
- women and/or couples
- or any sort of short-term or poly / non-monogamous vibes (NO ONS / NSA / ENM etc.)

Honestly, what I’m looking for is pretty simple:
mutual attraction, emotional safety, chemistry, consistency, laughter, good conversation, companionship, sexual compatibility, and genuine affection without pretending we’re robots who feel nothing.

LONG TERM and IRL only. Because…honestly, I’m too old for that shit…

Basically:
friends.
Good friends.
With benefits.
Heavy emphasis on the “friends” part.

Let’s hang out and do it…A LOT! And if things happen to develop into something more, GREAT! If not, I still want to be friends. For real.

I want you to matter to me. And for me to matter to you. No matter how things shake out. Sincerely.

ABOUT ME
Former expat (survived living in London). Writer. Smartass. Big personality. Bigger ass. Simultaneously intimidating and deeply silly. I can discuss theology, music theory, geopolitics, enjoyable sexual activities, and why John Goodman was incredibly underrated in The Big Lebowski — all in the same conversation.

Admittedly, I was in a terrible (and sexless) marriage for a VERY long time, so I need you to be willing to go slowly and get to know me before we get busy. Lemme be completely honest with you: I haven’t had sex since 2023 and I don’t want to immediately hop in bed with just anyone.

Friends, remember?

Unfortunately, I’m not the kind of person who can just have meaningless sex.

That all being said, I have a crazy high libido.

And ok, YES, I admit it — I am submissive. But only with someone I trust DEEPLY. I assure you — the only thing vanilla about me is my body lotion. BUT, at the same time, this ride ain’t for everyone.

We can talk kinks and limits AFTER we’re friends.

Might come as a surprise, but I’m also a faithful Christian…obvs, I struggle with sin. Like we all do. Don’t worry, I won’t witness to you during aftercare…unless you want me to. Hot.

I like karaoke, old movies, weird internet rabbit holes, bookstores, emotionally intelligent men, fellow brainiacs, good coffee, road trips, and people who know how to be normal after 10pm…and before 10pm…ok, at any time when linear time is involved.

I’m drawn to masculine energy, competency, protectiveness, wit, emotional steadiness, and men who know how to lead without being a dick about it.

ABOUT YOU
- emotionally literate
- funny
- smart
- DDF (including no cold sores)
- not secretly (or openly) married
- not secretly (or openly) taken
- not secretly (or openly) illiterate
- capable of communication
- 7.5”, thick, and cut (being circumcised is non-negotiable)
- must enjoy giving oral, not just receiving (I promise, I gotchu)
- relatively attractive? (I’m not superficial, but I do have eyeballs…personality counts for a LOT with me though, so shoot your shot)

Age-wise, probably 30s to early 50s-ish. But, really, who cares?

However old you are, PLEASE — for the love of all that’s holy — be able to keep up with me in the sack.

Last thing:
I’m clearly not offended by sexuality. I’m offended by being boring. There’s a difference.

If you message me, tell me:

  1. what you’re ACTUALLY looking for
  2. your most unhinged but harmless opinion
  3. and what made you respond to my post specifically

And gentlemen:
if your opening message sounds like something that could someday be quoted in a true crime TV show, please reconsider. This relationship ain’t big enough for two serial m*rderers…and that’s MY thing.

DFW area preferred.

Good luck to everyone searching for their someone! Much love, yall. It’s tough out there!

EDIT: minor detail clarification; repeating myself on not being into poly stuff

2nd EDIT: Um…ok…so…I honestly did NOT expect this kind of response. I’m a little overwhelmed and think I may have accidentally opened a portal to Hell in my in inbox. Whoops! That being said, I’m trying to get back to yall as I can. THANKS SO MUCH for making a bitch feel appreciated!! Shucks. You (fellow) pervs are awesome! 😘😘

u/No_Lieutenant_2181 — 9 days ago

F4M 43 DFW - looking o be gassed up

Sad story time! I was in a sexless marriage from 2017-2025 and the last time I got laid was 2023.

Not really looking to hookup or anything, but just kinda feeling shitty about myself bc the first dude I was seeing after my divorce was a dickhead.

What do yall think? Am I still fuckable? Even at 43, being divorced, no kids (unable to have them; medical reasons), and being a size 12-14?

Please be kind. I am already well-aware that I am very flawed. No need to remind me. And yes, I know what group this is.

Edit: minor detail

u/No_Lieutenant_2181 — 11 days ago