u/ObviousFigure

How do I find a random person to blow? If I manage to find someone anyone have any pointers for a first timer.

I never thought I'd be writing something like this. I'm a 43-year-old straight man, always have been. Married, wife whole normal life. But about six months ago I started blasting high doses of testosterone real steroid cycle levels because I was tired of feeling like shit and wanted to get bigger. Physically it's been working. I'm stronger, hornier than I've been in years but something else woke up too.

At first it was just the insane sex drive. I'd jerk off multiple times a day. Then the porn got darker and more varied. Before I knew it I was watching gay blowjob videos, trans women with huge cocks, and rough pegging scenes. Now I can't stop. Every day I'm obsessing over the thought of dropping to my knees and sucking a hard cock. I fantasize about the weight of it on my tongue, the taste, the way it would throb and shoot down my throat while I look up at him.

I imagine meeting a hung guy or a hot trans woman with a fat dick and just servicing them like a desperate whore. In my head I'm gagging on it, drooling, begging for their load. At night I have these vivid dreams where I'm getting fucked. Sometimes it's a girl with a strap-on pegging me deep, pounding my ass while I moan like a bitch. Other times it's a man thick cock stretching me open, him using my 350lb body while I take every inch.

I'm constantly rock hard thinking about performing oral on men. Like, obsessive. I'll be driving and suddenly I'm imagining pulling over to suck off a stranger in a parking lot. The thoughts hit me at work, at home, everywhere. Part of me is fucking worried is the testosterone rewiring my brain? Is this permanent? Am I still straight if I'm craving dick this bad? I've always been into women, but now the idea of getting used by a cock has me leaking pre-cum.

I think I might have a porn addiction on top of it, but I can't stop edging to this stuff. The mix of shame and horniness is insane. I'm terrified of what this means for my life, but at the same time I'm so turned on by these new desires that I keep going back.

Has anyone else experienced something like this on high-dose Test? Did it pass or just get worse? I feel like a closeted cock worshipper hiding in a straight man's body now.

I'm 43, 350lbs, always identified as straight, married, the whole traditional package. Six months ago I started a heavy testosterone cycle ,high doses, real steroid territory because I wanted to feel strong and masculine again. Physically it's been great. But mentally and sexually? It's flipped a switch I didn't know existed.

Now I'm flooded with constant, obsessive homoerotic thoughts. I can't stop fantasizing about sucking cock. I picture myself on my knees, a thick dick sliding past my lips, the heavy weight on my tongue, the musky taste, veins pulsing as I bob my head and take it deeper until I'm gagging and drooling. The fantasies include trans women with big, hard cocks too. Same thing me servicing them eagerly like a desperate slut.

At night the dreams are even wilder. I wake up rock hard from getting pegged hard by a girl her strap-on stretching my ass, pounding me until I'm moaning. Or worse (better?), a man bending me over and fucking me raw, using my big body while his cock owns me.

I'm jerking off way more than before, mostly to gay and trans porn now. The obsession is constant. I'll be in the middle of normal life and suddenly I'm imagining dropping to my knees for the next guy I see. Part of me is genuinely worried is this the high Testosterone permanently rewiring me? Am I still straight? Is this porn addiction making it worse? But the bigger part of me is so fucking turned on by these new urges that I keep feeding them.

I still love women, but right now the thought of cock has me extremely turned on. Never thought I'd be here.

AMA — ask me anything. How bad the cravings get, details of the dreams/fantasies, what specific acts I'm obsessed with, how my body feels on the gear, whether I'm scared or excited to actually try it, etc. Be as dirty as you want. I’m horny and honest right now.

350lb straight 43M. Steroids giving me gay fantasies

I've never told anyone this because I'm embarrassed and honestly confused by it.

I'm a 350-pound guy, and several months ago I started taking high doses of testosterone. I expected changes in my energy, mood, and sex drive. What I didn't expect was how dramatically my fantasies would change.

For most of my life I considered myself straight. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I started having persistent fantasies involving men and trans women. They're not fleeting thoughts—they've become recurring fantasies that I can't ignore.

It doesn't stop when I'm awake, either. I've had repeated dreams where I'm in submissive situations that I never would have imagined before starting testosterone. I wake up feeling aroused, confused, and wondering what all of this means.

Part of me wonders whether the testosterone simply amplified desires that had always been buried, or whether the increase in libido has made my mind explore fantasies it never did before. I genuinely don't know.

I've spent countless nights questioning my sexuality, my identity, and whether these are just fantasies or something I actually want to experience. The thoughts aren't upsetting because they're about men or trans women—they're upsetting because they challenge everything I thought I knew about myself.

I'm not looking for judgment. I'm curious if anyone else has experienced a dramatic shift in their fantasies after starting testosterone or increasing their libido. Right now I feel more confused than anything else, and admitting this anonymously is the first time I've said it out loud.