Thought I had ED from a porn addiction, turns out I’m just gay
So for the longest time I thought I couldn’t get hard or aroused by women because I had a serve porn addiction.
Like most people I started out with straight porn and over the years slowly moved towards trans porn and then full on gay porn. This turned to me getting in chat rooms to jerk with guys and browsing Grindr daily to have some sexy chats. But to me that’s all it was it was, just chatting with guys and porn I never really wanted to meet up with anyone.
So I told myself I wasn’t gay it was just a bad porn addiction that went too far. So I’ve tried to quit porn and every time I did I felt dead inside or what they call flatlining. I read so many stories that people get into this “taboo” porn because they are desensitized to normal hetero porn. So I told myself that’s me, I’m not gay just a porn addict.
So after a while of no porn I wanted to try to hook up with a girl and when that happened I couldn’t get hard at all, like completely dead.
That was embarrassing and it made me seclude myself from everyone and women especially. I feel back into my porn usage after that. It was such a mental choke hold watching gay porn and still trying to convince myself I was straight
I tried to hook up with another girl a few months later and again couldn’t get it up. After another month or 2 of trying to quit porn I finally caved in and met up with a boy.
I was so nervous I could barely talk. But we got to talking and touching each other. I felt so awkward and uncomfortable and again I was not hard or aroused at all.
But then he pulled out his big cock…
I don’t think my cock has ever gotten so hard so quickly. I got on my knees like I’ve done it 1000 times and placed his cock in my mouth. That is was when I knew it was over for me. This felt like home for me, like I belonged on my knees sucking cock.
I did not go into that night thinking I’d have sex with a MAN ! but after a few minutes of sucking his cock, all I could think about was having that cock in my ass. So I let him fuck me…3 times that night and each time I was hard as rock.
I feel relived, excited, ashamed, and stupid that it took me 29 years to figure out but oh well. Just wanted to share my experience ! And to encourage you to try it if you’re curious.
P.S. know one knows I’m gay and but I still meet up with this guy (sometimes a 3rd) a few times a week and we have some amazing gay sex and that’s really all I’ve been thinking about since it happened. Crazy how it fast it happened. Oops