u/Ok-Conclusion8132

M 33, straight, got into anal play when I was in high school. I was always attracted to girls, and had been only with girls, but I also always had to find a way to play with my ass.

At first it was just fingering, then small dildos, larger dildos, till I got to a point I could almost fist myself.

I thought this would be just a phase, and that I’d grow tired of it, and tried stopping myself a number of times. However, I keep ending up with “stuff” in my ass.

I was always, and still am, attracted to girls. Married to a nice blonde. All looks normal.

However, when I was a teen, I had a buddy with who I used to hang out a lot. We were just the average dumb teens doing dumb stuff. Riding bikes, playing etc.

One summer night two other older friends showed us a dirty magazine and dared us to jerk to it.

I was scared by that but also super horny, so we went for it.

Fast forward a few weeks, it became a thing we’d do every time we got the chance to. We’d hide somewhere and just jerk off watching each other and random porn.

Things went to the next step soon after, as we started touching each other, and not before long we started sucking each other.

It was weird at first, but again I was horny and went for it.

All this time I was still attracted to girls, but weirdly it felt normal to jerk off and suck these 3 guys.

I’ll never forget one night, my buddy bent over to suck one of the other guys, while another one asked if he can put his dick in his ass. He said yes, and I’ll never forget him getting spitroasted while I was jerking off wwatching him.

My buddy and I were meeting up quite often to jerk off and suck each other off. I can still remember his curved cock perfectly, and the feeling of its head rubbing in my mouth and licking it.

Then everything came to a halt, not sure how. We just started drifting apart and haven’t kept in touch for years.

I dated many girls after, and got married in the meantime.

However, I’m still craving the taste and feel of his cock. I never sucked a cock ever since, but I dream of his quite often.

Not sure what’s wrong with me 😂

I’ve developed this kink, I don’t know how to call it. But I find it very hot to post intimate pictures of myself on Reddit for strangers to see. What started with a few dick pics, ended up with me in full crossdressing outfits, doing quite nasty stuff.

I’m not interested in any contact, and I’m still straight. But I still can’t hold myself from doing it.