u/OutrageousRound2300

Part 4 - https://www.reddit.com/r/gayincest\_stories/s/Deo4gRRVRh

Theo

‘We just kissed.’ The words don’t sound real coming out of Jamie’s mouth.

He laughs nervously again and wipes his hands down his face.

The water bubbles around us.

I become aware of our feet still touching.

I force myself to look in his direction, but my focus lands somewhere beyond him, on the dark outline of the trees.

‘Sorry.’ Is all I can say.

‘Don’t apologise.’ His response is quick, surprisingly forceful.

I’m way too hot. I feel like I need to launch myself into the nearest lake. Before I even realise what I’m doing, I’m pushing myself up to get out of the hot tub. My foot slips against the wet step.

I catch myself.

So does Jamie.

His hands clamp around my waist instinctively, steadying me before I can fall. The warmth of his grip burns through me even more than the water did.

‘Careful.’ His voice comes out softer than I expect.

I can’t look at him properly. I mumble a thank you, wrap myself in a towel, and head inside before my body completely gives me away.

I grip the kitchen counter, my breathing heavy. Even the cold air isn’t helping.

I squeeze my eyes closed. All I can see is the kiss. My fingers brush over my lips.

This is fine. Just a silly drunken mistake. I repeat it to myself, trying to believe it.

The damp footsteps on the linoleum floor tell me Jamie’s behind me.

‘You alright?’ He sounds wary, hesitant.

‘Yeah.’ I manage.

A pause.

‘You sure?’

No.

His footsteps get closer. I turn to head towards the bedroom, but he grabs my forearm.

I turn to face him, scanning his face. I lean in, and stop.

What am I doing?

I lean in again and push my lips against his. His hand tangles in my hair as he kisses me back.

As we separate a wave a relief washes over me, as if I’d been carrying that weight for years. Jamie’s eyes flick from my lips and meet mine, a hint of a smile on his face.

‘Guess we’re not pretending that didn’t happen then.’ His face is so close I can feel his breath. Heat rushes to my face and I look down, a smile also spread across my face.

He backs up slightly. ‘I’m going to get changed.’ My eyes don’t leave him as he heads to the bedroom. My breathing finally returns to normal.

I’m half-watching the film we put on the TV. I haven’t taken in a single thing that’s happened on screen.

Jamie’s shoulder is pressed against mine. Since the hot tub it feels as if we’ve barely spent any time not touching. It feels strangely normal.

It feels… right?

Jamie shifts, lying down on the sofa and resting his legs across my lap. As I pretend to watch the film, I find my thumbs gently kneading his soft soles.

He moans lightly. ‘That’s nice.’ He looks up at me. ‘I loved it when you did this when we were younger.’ He gives me a sleepy smile.’

‘You look tired,’ I say.

He nods.

There’s barely room for one person in the bathroom of this place. I’m hunched over the tiny sink brushing my teeth when Jamie squeezes in beside me, taking up what little space there is.

My elbow presses against his chest as he stands beside me at the toilet.

I keep brushing, my eyes wandering sideways now and then, no longer nervous enough to stop myself.

Jamie laughs softly.

‘It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.’

Heat creeps into my face. I spit into the sink and shove my elbow into his side until he finally laughs and backs out of the room.

I’m conscious of both Jamie and myself as we undress ready for bed. If anything, I want him to see me now.

My eyes linger on him as he pulls off his t-shirt. The dim light of the room catches the dusting of dark hair spread across his chest.

I gulp as he pulls down his shorts, now wearing nothing but tight white briefs.

He catches me staring. I don’t look away, and neither does he.

He smiles.

But it’s different.

Wanting?

I keep his gaze as I continue undressing. It’s not long before his eyes drift down my body too.

I hover over the light switch, taking him in one last time.

Darkness.

I face Jamie in bed. His hands reach out tentatively, gently gliding over my chest. He pulls himself closer.

‘You’re staring again.’ He whispers.

My eyes squint in disbelief. ‘You can’t even see me!’ I try to keep my voice to whisper.

He laughs. ‘I just know.’

I smile, and press my lips against his. My hand exploring his back before making its way into his hair and pulling him closer.

His mouth opens, allowing my tongue to briefly explore.

When we pull away I’m breathless, my forehead resting against his. I can’t help but be glad the lights are out. I’d hate for him to see how much I liked that.

‘This is mad.’ I whisper. He steals another kiss.

‘Doesn’t feel wrong though.’ He replies.

His hands roam down my back, glide across the fabric of my underwear, before coming to rest in the small of my back.

‘Good night.’ I peck him on the lips and snuggle into him. His arms wrapping around me tightly.

‘Good night.’

Part 3 - https://www.reddit.com/r/gayincest\_stories/s/TRWqgSHnvi

Jamie

His back’s pressed against my chest. My arm is wrapped around him. One of his legs is in between mine.

I know it shouldn’t, but it actually feels nice.

Memories of the previous day, mostly dominated by Theo, come and go. His breathing tells me he’s still asleep, so I don’t move, not wanting to wake him.

Eventually he starts to stir, his breathing changes, he starts to move. He presses further into me at first, before he freezes and starts to tense.

I mimic his movements, as if I’m only just waking up too, stretching my arms and allowing a bit of space between us.

‘Sorry bud, I must have grabbed onto you in the night.’ I try to keep my voice light. ‘And, uh… sorry about the perfectly natural morning situation going on there.’ I laugh, but I’m not convinced it sounds genuine.

Theo doesn’t say anything, but I hear a slight laugh. He rolls over, looking like he’s still half asleep.

‘How’re you feeling?’ I ask, remembering how the night ended.

‘Not as bad as I expected, which I’ll take.’ He says with a sleepy smile.

Making it downstairs just in time to say goodbye to most of the guests earned a stern look from dad, oops.

Theo and I awkwardly hugged and said goodbye to family that we may never see again. I think he’s got some hangover anxiety, he’s barely left my side all morning.

The last of the guests leave, but I linger to say goodbye to Theo, until who knows when.

‘Are you heading back to dad’s?’ He asks, still close.

‘Nah, I’ll leave them to have some time to themselves.’ I reply, the undertone not intentional. Theo looks grossed out. ‘You off back to London?’

‘No, I booked a few days off since I was travelling so far.’

I eye him suspiciously. ‘Doing what?’

‘I’ve booked a shepherd’s hut, in the Yorkshire Moors.’

I’m taken aback. He hasn’t wanted to spend more time together?

‘You going on your own?’ I say it as casually as I can.

Silence. He’s rubbing one shoe against the other, as if he’s trying to knock something off, but nothing’s there.

‘Do you want to come?’ He doesn’t look up as he asks.

My chest tightens. My answer is yes, instantly yes.

It’s not often I’d bite someone’s hand off, but this is one of those times. But is he just inviting me because I hinted?

‘I don’t have plans, and it’d be good to hang out more after so long. But if you wanted time on your own then go ahead.’ I try not to scare him off.

He looks up at me now. He’s smiling, but I think he’s suppressing a bigger one. Like me when I saw him across the bar after all this time.

‘Yeah, come. When do we ever get chance to do this?’ He looks sheepish. ‘There is only a double bed though, but I suppose we’re past that now.’

Is he trying to convince himself of that?

‘Ohhh… so I get a little spoon for a bit longer?’ I brush my hand against his, intertwining our fingers slightly. He looks down, but doesn’t pull back.

‘I’m so glad your dad had a great day!’ The sudden interruption sends my heart into my stomach. I jump away from Theo, snatch my hand back, rub my neck awkwardly. Way to not look guilty.

But what am I guilty of?

I turn to see Aunt Mabel, who cornered us the night before the wedding, waddling towards the exit.

‘See you boys!’ She waves, then she’s gone.

My senses start returning to normal. I steal a look at Theo, also looking flustered.

‘Right.’ I start, with my chirpy voice. ‘Let’s get our stuff in the car.’

By the time we leave the motorway behind, Theo’s relinquished control of the music to me, something that never used to happen.

The awkwardness from the wedding weekend has faded into something easier.

We stop at a tiny village supermarket to buy food for the next couple of days. Theo throws random things into the trolley like he’s never cooked in his life. I mostly follow him around trying not to stare at him.

I tease him about wanting to buy posh food now that he lives in London. He brushes past my shoulder in the narrow aisle.

The shepherd’s hut sits on the edge of a field beside dense woodland, with a tiny outside area, flowers, and a snug hot tub steaming quietly beside it. There hasn’t been a town, village, or even a house for miles.

We unpack the shopping together into the tiny kitchen, Theo reaching around me to put things in their place. He’s joking and laughing, so much more at ease than two days ago.

‘That hot tub is calling me.’ I stare out the window, watching the steam rise from underneath the hot tub lid.

‘Once these have chilled, we can have some while we have a soak.’ Theo replies.

I look over at him. He’s crouched down stocking the under-counter fridge with bottles of beer and wine. My eyes are drawn to his denim jeans, the fabric pulled tight, the waistband sitting low enough to reveal a strip of pale skin. My eyes linger. My mouth goes dry.

We make a start on cooking some food. I quickly settle into the role of sous chef, chopping meat and vegetables while Theo handles the cooking - he seems to know what he’s doing. In the cramped kitchen he squeezes behind me to get to the stove, the warmth of him pressing against me for a fleeting moment.

Theo insisted on opening a bottle of wine to drink while we cooked, saying it was the law when on holiday. I didn’t put up a fight.

Sitting opposite him while we eat, I find myself watching him. The way he eats carefully and methodically, making sure he has a piece of everything on his fork. He catches me staring, looks self conscious, but smiles shyly.

The glow of sunset warms the hut and, after confirming the beers are cold, we head into the hot tub. I slide in, realising there’s even less space inside than there looks. A broken jet means that Theo sits next to me, rather than opposite, to get the full benefit.

Theo settles in beside me and immediately our knees touch. I expect him to pull away, but he remains and leans back, relaxing in the warmth.

‘This is perfect.’ He sighs, taking a sip from his bottle.

I take him in. ‘Yeah.’ My voice comes out quieter than I mean it to.

The sun has almost disappeared now, stars becoming visible in the darkening sky.

‘I can’t believe we let ourselves drift so far apart.’ I stare up at the stars, taking in the night sky.

‘I know, I’ve missed this.’ Theo replies.

‘Thanks for letting me come along.’

‘I’m glad you did.’

Our feet brush together under the water. Neither of us move them apart.

‘It’s a shame we’ve only got a couple of days.’ I say, keen not to let the inevitable end of the trip ruin the first day.

We’re looking at each other now. I’m vividly aware of the silence all around us.

‘I’ll make sure we do more of this.’ He almost whispers. We’re still looking at each other.

Silence settles between us again, heavier this time.

Theo’s still looking at me. Not awkwardly. Not nervously. Just… looking.

The bubbling water shifts our legs together again beneath the surface. My eyes flick down to his mouth before I can stop myself.

I swear I see his breathing change.

Neither of us move away.

Somehow the space between us disappears.

His lips brush mine softly at first, tentative enough that either of us could still pull back and pretend it never happened.

But then he kisses me properly.

Warm.

Careful.

Real.

My stomach flips and I pull back too fast, my heart hammering against my ribs.

I look down at the water, the lights dancing underneath. A small, disbelieving laugh escapes my lips.

Neither of us move.

The only sound comes from the bubbling water around us.

‘Jamie…’ Theo trails off softly.

I finally look back at him.

‘We just kissed.’ I whisper.

Part 2 - https://www.reddit.com/r/gayincest_stories/s/BEA3RWc4k5

Theo

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Jamie, sleeping.

A smile creeps across my lips.

Last night’s conversation comes back to me. I’m relieved that things won’t be as tense between us today. I get up, trying to keep noise to a minimum, and head to the bathroom.

When I return, Jamie’s awake and stretching, revealing a thick patch of underarm hair.

‘Morning Theo.’ He says whilst yawning. I feel eyes on me as I make my way back into bed.

‘Sorry if I woke you.’

‘It’s that heavy stream of yours, who could sleep through that? It hasn’t let up as you’ve gotten older has it?’ He jokes, lightly punching my arm. Embarrassment spreads through me, and I feel my face heating up.

‘No I guess not.’ I mumble, laughing awkwardly.

Jamie says he’ll shower first, jumps out of bed and heads to the bathroom. I wait for the click of the door, but it doesn’t come.

The sound of cascading water, the creak of the shower door closing.

I glance to the bathroom and see the door is slightly ajar, steam creeping into the room.

My pulse quickens, my mouth suddenly dry. I turn onto my side facing the bathroom, pretending to scroll through my phone. My attention keeps switching back to the open door every few seconds.

I’m pretty sure I can’t see anything. Nothing but vague movement behind the steamed-up shower screen and drifting steam. I’m looking at my phone anyway, not that.

The water stops. My breath catches.

The shower door creaks again. Then a flash of skin as he grabs a towel.

‘What time are we heading to breakfast?’ He calls.

‘Erm, 9 I think.’

My eyes stay fixed on the screen.

I look again. Seeing clearly the contrast between his sun-kissed back and pale cheeks. My eyes flick to the mirror and meet Jamie’s for a second.

Shit. I can hear my pulse in my ears. My breathing quickens, temperature rising.

‘You never could resist staring.’ Jamie jokes. I squeeze my eyes closed in embarrassment.

Jamie comes out of the bathroom, towel tied casually around his waist, low enough to reveal the trail of dark hair disappearing beneath it. He catches my eye as he rounds the bed.

‘Bathroom’s all yours bud.’

From the back my eyes trace from his damp hair, pushed back, to his broad shoulders, to the base of his back where the tan fades into pale skin beneath the towel.

I return to the bedroom, after showering, in a similar state to Jamie, though feeling unusually self conscious about my body. He’s now wearing his trousers, and messing with his hair in the room’s full-length mirror.

I see his reflection. His eyes travel over me once before meeting my gaze.

‘How’ve you managed that?’ He asks, smirking. Turning around, he licks his thumb, and stands within half a foot of me.

I freeze, caught off guard. My breathing quickens. The smell of the mint toothpaste on his breath all I can focus on.

He wipes his thumb at the corner of my mouth.

‘Toothpaste.’ He clarifies, holding my gaze for what feels like a second too long. ‘All gone.’ He smiles and turns back around.

The room feels uncomfortably warm. Or maybe that’s just me. After fumbling around with my tie, I finally feel like I’m ready to head downstairs. I do a final check in the mirror.

Jamie comes up behind me, close enough that I’m sure I felt his thigh on mine. He reaches round me, pulling each side of my collar and adjusting them slightly. The room is getting even hotter, I need to speak to reception about the air conditioning.

‘Perfect.’ He smiles. ‘Let’s go down.’

The day’s been a whirlwind. It’s finally at the point where people stop rushing around and can actually enjoy themselves. Drinks have been flowing, and everyone seems to be having a good time.

I’m not much of a drinker, so I’m already feeling the buzz. Everyone is congregating outside.

Jamie passes me a bottle of beer, my fingers interlocking with his as I take it. Does he keep hold of it for a split second longer than he needs to? I glance to his eyes, but they’re focussed across the room. A pang of irritation hits me in the stomach.

I follow his gaze to see someone approaching. He gently slides his hand across the top of my bum and rests it on my waist, pulling me in slightly.

‘You two!’ A 70-something woman approaches, another distant relative. ‘Still so close I see, after all this time.’ She smiles proudly. I feel a squeeze on my waist, then heat rising through me. She talks about the wedding, asks about what we’ve been up to over the past few years, and thankfully she leaves us be.

Surely it’s got to be the end of the night now? I’m already regretting the amount I’ve had to drink. The idea of having another awkward conversation with a family member makes me want to vomit.

I’m going to head back to the room, but I’ll let Jamie know first. I seek him out, and eventually find him outside having a smoke, of course. I stop short of him seeing me, he’s sat with a girl who I vaguely recognise.

I watch, transfixed, at that familiar charm. At the way he reaches out to fix her hair so casually. The way she laughs with far too much animation - he’s not that funny - then nestles her head in the crook of his neck. Deflation and disappointment consume me, I’m clearly too tired and drunk.

I decide against letting him know I’m heading back and make my way back through the lobby.

Footsteps. Fast footsteps. Then a shout.

‘Theo wait up!’

But I carry on.

A firm grip on my arm pulls me backwards and I almost lose my footing, but Jamie steadies me.

‘Are you okay? I saw you outside, you looked… not happy.’ His eyes search my face, concern etched on his.

Is it weird that he’s still holding me?

‘I’m fine, I just came to tell you I was going to bed but I saw you were with a girl so I wanted to leave you to it.’ I attempt a wink, which turns into a blink. Even I can hear the slurring in my speech.

‘Janey? She’s my best friend, like a sister.’ He’s still searching my face. ‘Let’s get back to the room.’

‘You didn’t have to come back with me, I’m fine!’ Stumbling into the room isn’t the best way to back myself up. I hear Jamie laugh and roll my eyes.

I start undressing, pulling off my socks, almost ripping off my shirt, and struggling with my trousers.

‘Here.’ Jamie says, pushing me to sit on the bed, grabbing the cuffs of my trousers and tugging them off.

‘Thanks.’ I mumble, realising the room is still hot and I didn’t ask reception to fix the air con. I get pulled away from my thoughts by realising that Jamie is undressing in front of me. As much as I try not to look, I can’t control my gaze. I take in the shape of his chest, bulky but not ripped, a light dusting of dark hair spread across it. He pulls down his trousers, revealing the grey CK boxer briefs underneath, the fabric pulling tight against him.

My eyes make their way back up to Jamie’s face. He’s already looking at me.

I feel my face drain; the feeling of bile rising inside me.

‘I’m going to be sick.’ I say, covering my mouth and scrambling to the bathroom.

I’m filled with regret as I hug the toilet bowl. Jamie followed behind me, and is rubbing my back in rhythmic circles, the other hand placed on top of mine on the rim of the toilet. The sensation is satisfying and comforting.

Feeling better, I brush my teeth and head to bed.

‘You feeling alright now?’ Jamie’s sat up in bed. His expression is somewhere between concern and amusement.

I climb into bed and nod. ‘Think so, sorry about that. But thank you.’ I curl up under the duvet and face away from him.

His bedside light turns off, bringing welcomed darkness. I start drifting to sleep almost immediately.

I feel movement. The weight of something resting over my torso. The gentle warmth of breath on my neck.

Half asleep I snuggle into the embrace. Jamie doesn’t move.

For the first time since arriving, I stop feeling tense.

Part 1 - https://www.reddit.com/r/gayincest_stories/s/vG5nLIB9xd

Jamie

Theo’s been acting tense ever since we got into the room. Like being too close to me might kill him.

He’s slumped in the armchair by the window, staring at nothing. I’m lying on the bed. Reaching down, I peel off my socks and throw them in his direction, landing at his feet.

‘Remember when you’d rub my feet after a football game?’ I ask, looking for him to break out of his trance. His eyes flick briefly to my bare feet, then meet my gaze. He takes a swig from the bottle of beer from the mini bar, and nods. ‘I know I haven’t been playing football today, but they could sure do with it.’ I wiggle my toes, taking a sip of my own beer.

His eyes drift back down for half a second before he catches himself. ‘There’s a spa here, right? Maybe you should book a massage.’ He gets up. ‘I’m going to get ready for bed.’

My eyes follow him as he walks past the end of the bed and disappears into the bathroom, eyes straight ahead the whole time.

I’d been waiting for him to arrive, and had to stop myself grinning like an idiot when I saw him walk through the doors.

Then he hugged me like I was some distant relative he barely recognised.

I keep trying to pull him back out of his shell. Standing close to him, fixing his hair, touching him like we used to when we were younger. But he still feels miles away from me.

The beer starts to hit me properly, and suddenly I need a piss. If Theo’s anything like he used to be, he’ll be in there for ages with all his creams and lotions. I hear the electric toothbrush. I try to wait it out, hold it until he’s finished, but it’s no use.

‘This beer’s gone right through me.’ I laugh as I lift the toilet seat and start to pee. The sink is next to the toilet with a full wall mirror in front. Theo’s brushing his teeth, his shoulders looking tense, eyes staring straight ahead and completely avoiding eye contact with me through the mirror.

He’s brushing his teeth for longer than he needs to. I heard the brush vibrate to indicate 2 minutes was up, but he’s carried on.

‘Tomorrow should be interesting, hey? Dad getting married again.’ He just nods and keeps brushing. I finish up, and share the sink with him to wash my hands. I brush my shoulder against his, and see him grip the rim of the sink harder than seems necessary. He finally spits the toothpaste out.

‘I won’t be long.’ He says, still not looking at me. I take my cue to leave, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

‘We can top and tail if you like? It’s not ideal only having the one bed and no pull out.’ Theo says as he comes out of the bathroom, almost sounding rehearsed.

‘Nah come on man, we’ve never top and tailed. We used to always share beds, even if we didn’t need to. We’re fine.’ He doesn’t reply. His back is towards me and he starts to unbutton his shirt. ‘Unless you’re going to give me a foot-rub, then I’m down.’ I laugh.

Silence.

I get up and head to the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering why this feels so unnatural and forced. I splash water on my face and get myself ready.

Theo’s under the duvet scrolling on his phone when I return, at the top end of the bed - no foot rub tonight then. He couldn’t be closer to the edge of the bed if he tried.

‘If you sleep that close to the edge you’re going to fall out.’ I chuckle. He looks, smiles slightly, and moves over about an inch.

I undress slowly, unbuttoning my shirt and hanging it up before pushing my trousers down my legs. I feel eyes on me.

I glance over just in time to catch Theo looking before he quickly drops his gaze back to his phone. I can’t stop the smirk.

‘You’ve always struggled to not stare.’ I joke, as I pull my trousers off and head towards the bed, now only wearing a pair of white boxer briefs.

‘Don’t flatter yourself.’ He replies, but I can see his face colouring. He turns off his bedside light, plunging half of the room into darkness, and continues scrolling. I follow suit, turning my light off and rolling onto my side, facing Theo. I barely recognise him in the harsh light of the phone.

‘Do you still snore?’ I smirk, knowing he can’t see it, and tap his leg lightly with my foot. He wriggles, moving slightly closer to the edge again.

‘I think so.’ He continues scrolling.

I hear the faint sound of voices outside - there’ll be some sore heads tomorrow.

The warmth of having someone next to me in bed, when I’m not completely drunk and unaware, feels strange but comforting.

‘We used to always stay awake talking, remember when mum used to tell us off?’ I watch him for a reaction.

Theo laughs awkwardly. ‘Yeah.’

‘You really did just disappear, didn’t you?’

He stops scrolling. ‘I grew up. I left home. I did my own thing. I’m sorry things changed but that’s just what happens.’

‘That’s one thing, but we’ve completely disappeared from each other’s lives. The only way I know what you’re doing is by checking on Instagram. I felt like calling you so many times but I get the feeling you don’t want it.’

Silence.

‘Do you know how many times people have asked where you were?’

Silence.

‘Like I was supposed to know?’

The room is pitch black now, Theo’s phone screen finally dark. I feel him shuffle and turn.

‘I don’t know.’ He shifts closer.

‘Everything changed so quickly when I moved. And then the longer I left it, the harder it got to call.’

I can feel his breath now.

He’s moved closer without either of us acknowledging it.

‘I thought you hated me.’ Even I’m surprised by the hurt in my voice. I nudge his foot with mine, this time he doesn’t back off.

I feel the tension break, and our conversation feels more natural, more like before.

Eventually his responses trail off.

A few minutes later, I hear the soft sound of him snoring beside me.

Theo

I almost turned around twice on the drive up.

Then I almost stayed on the M6 and carried on up to Scotland for a weekend in Edinburgh, rather than a weekend in the Lakes. The thought of having to explain why I missed my own dad’s wedding was the only thing that persuaded me to take the exit.

I’ve just parked the hire car outside the venue. Already I can see guests hovering around outside the impressive stone building. My eyes flick from person to person, searching for that one familiar face.

The winding driveway of the venue lined with conifers, the soft evening light, the picture-postcard setting - none of it is doing anything for my nerves.

As I make my way through the small crowds of people, with the ‘hellos’ and the awkward hugs that come with being away from people for so long, all I can think about is getting to the bar for a pint.

The bar is crowded, the low music almost completely drowned out by the white noise of chitter chatter, pierced every now and then by the obnoxious noise of those who’ve had a bit too much to drink already.

He’ll probably be one of them.

My eyes scan, until finally I see him. My stomach drops, somewhere between dread and nervousness. I hear his laugh then, his head leaning back slightly in an almost-over-the-top expression of humour that I remember. The girl next to him, I don’t recognise her, gently places her hand on his bicep. His shirt sleeves are rolled up, tight around his muscles, revealing tanned arms with a tattoo peeking out. Then he looks across.

Jamie excuses himself from his company, his eyes never leaving mine. He walks over, with that natural confidence that I remember so well. It’s been so long that I’m not sure I can read his face.

‘Thought you weren’t coming’. Jame says, pulling me into a hug. The sensation of his body pressed against mine takes me aback. He smells the same. Cedarwood and whatever deodorant he used to steal from me when we were eighteen.

‘Ever presumptuous.’ I reply. I feel a stifled laugh in his chest against mine. His hand lingers for a second longer than necessary in the small of my back, before he pulls away.

‘Oh my god, the twins!’ A short plump woman with a blue rinse and a thick Yorkshire accent waddles towards us, drink in hand. It takes me a while to realise it’s one of those distant aunts who you only see every few years at family weddings and funerals.

‘Yep, still twins.’ Jamie smiles cheekily, stealing a sideways look in my direction. She gives him a playful tap on the arm.

‘Still a smart arse I see.’ She laughs, looking at us both intently. ‘I never could tell you apart, it’s only the hair that does it now… until you open your mouths.’ She smirks at Jamie, who turns to me and winks.

I feel my temperature start to rise, and know that I need a drink. I excuse myself and head to the bar, sweat beading on my forehead.

As I’m waiting for my drink, I feel a familiar arm wrap around my waist. I don’t need to turn to see who’s perched themselves next to me.

‘Always quick to make a run for it when things get a bit awkward aren’t you.’ Jamie leaves his arm around me, and stares straight ahead trying to catch the barman’s attention.

I study his profile, taking in the thick dark eye brows, the deep brown eyes, the ski-slope shape of his nose… it’s all identical to mine. The only difference, if you didn’t know us, is the gold stud in his ear and the curly mass of hair on his head, tapered down at the sides and back. I never fancied a piercing, and have kept my hair slightly longer and swept to the side.

He orders his drink, pays for mine as well without asking, and says he’ll see me later.

After mingling for an hour I’m feeling drained from the social interaction, the idea of crawling into bed the most appealing thing in the world. Extra draining are the constant comparisons between Jamie and I - I’d forgotten how tedious and irritating it is. People are starting to drop off now, not wanting to be too hungover for the big day tomorrow. I find myself with Jamie and our dad, them deep in conversation and me struggling to find anything to say. This is part of the reason I left for London - I never really felt like I fitted in.

I’m aware of Jamie’s proximity to me, not touching but ever so slightly too close. Even when I shuffle over slightly, he ends up moving too. Our dad excuses himself, needing to head to bed to be fresh for his big day tomorrow.

‘I’m heading out for a smoke.’ Jamie says. He lingers for a second, before picking at a piece of my hair and putting it back into place. ‘Don’t want you looking like a scruff.’ He almost whispers, feeling too close. I can smell the beer on his breath. I need fresh air.

I head outside, unsure of whether I want to bump into Jamie or would rather just have some time to myself. I don’t have a choice in the matter when I see him sat on the wall outside the entrance. It’s pretty dark now, but still warm thanks to the mild summer air. Jamie clocks me and looks me up and down. I head over.

‘How have you not given up yet? Or at least switched to vaping?’ I immediately regret the audible condemnation in my voice. He stares at me, studying my face, his expression unreadable, at least to me.

‘You don’t get to disappear to London with barely any contact, and then start judging me the second we see each other again.’ He blows a cloud of smoke into the night air.

‘We used to do everything together.’ He shakes his head. ‘Now I barely know what’s going on in your life’. A wave of guilt washes over me.

Jamie stubs out his cigarette and gets up, his hand ever so lightly brushing against mine as he pushes himself up. I look up at him, feeling small and not in control.

‘Have you checked in yet?’ He asks. I shake my head. ‘We’d better go do it then, reception closes at midnight.’

‘Sorry, what?’ I ask the receptionist, not sure that I heard her correctly.

‘I’m sorry sir, it seems there has been an issue with the bookings and we actually only have one room left.’ The receptionist looks nervous, her eyes flicking between Jamie and me as she delivers the news.

‘But we had two separate bookings? How does that happen?’ I can hear frustration in my voice.

‘Theo, it doesn’t matter. It’s only for a couple of nights, I’m sure we can cope with sharing a room again.’ The receptionist looks relieved at Jamie’s interruption.

‘I really am sorry, sir. We will of course refund the other room, and as a gesture of goodwill we will also refund 50% of the available room.’

I look over at Jamie, who shrugs in a way of saying ‘we can’t ask for better than that’. I accept the offer and we head to the room.

‘I feel like we’re teenagers again, sharing a room.’ Jamie jokes as we walk down the corridor, nudging me with his shoulder. I try to match his light heartedness, but my stomach is doing flips. I unlock the door to the room and am greeted by a large king-sized bed. Jamie laughs.

‘Oh it really is like we’re teenagers, we’re even sharing a bed.’ I don’t need to look at him to know he’s smirking, I can hear it in his voice. He squeezes my shoulder, kicks off his shoes and jumps on the bed face first.