u/Own-Election9943

I am sharing this with full courage. I have a sister (my cousin) who is just one year older than me. She lives in Pune and I live in Bangalore. I used to visit her often because it is my grandmother's house. We have been extremely close since childhood, and over the past 10–12 years, we became even closer.

We used to message each other constantly, and for the last 4–5 years, we had been sexting a lot. While the sexting was at its peak, we never actually did anything physical for a long time. Because we grew up together, we had seen each other’s private parts out of curiosity during childhood. We always spoke about sex and shared videos; the sexual attraction between us was always high. In fact, I really wanted to marry her. We even confessed to each other that we masturbated to thoughts of one another.

This year, her marriage was settled, and we decided we really wanted to explore something physical before then. We secretly met in Gokarna, hired an Airbnb for three days, and had a lot of sex. Never went out of the room.(4-5 rounds daily for 3 days) We were both virgins and used that time to explore each other’s bodies, living like a couple. We even tried out bareback but too scard to do it. Now, she is getting married in June. While she is excited because she found a good man and got engaged a few weeks ago, I have this deep, sad feeling. We mutually decided to end everything between us now, but I feel incredibly lonely and sad at the thought of her getting married