u/PastTricky6827

This is something I’ve never admitted out loud.

Back in college, I had a girlfriend who I spent almost every day with after classes. We’d find excuses to stay out longer, wander around town, and spend hours together near the riverside and other quiet places.

Looking back, I realize something that doesn’t make me look very good: I don’t think I was in love with her the way I convinced myself I was.

She knew exactly how to get my attention. Every time we met, I felt completely distracted by her. My mind was constantly occupied by her, and the attraction became an obsession.

The embarrassing truth is that I rarely thought about our future, our compatibility, or even the deeper parts of the relationship. Most of my thoughts revolved around how badly I wanted to be around her and the excitement I felt whenever we were together.

At the time, I called it love.

Years later, I’m not so sure.

What bothers me is realizing that I probably appreciated what she did for me emotionally far less than I appreciated the rush she gave me. That’s not something I’m proud of admitting.

Maybe that’s just how some college relationships are. Maybe I was immature. Either way, when I think back to that relationship, I sometimes wonder whether I was in love with her—or just obsessed with the feeling she created in me.

Has anyone else looked back at an old relationship and realized attraction was carrying far more weight than they wanted to admit?