Ice...I have control of myself, but haven't been able to quit entirely
Disposable account for obvious reasons. A former friend I don't talk to anymore got me started smoking meth a few years ago and I've continued using lightly off and on, but I never fell too deep down the hole. It didn't become an every day habit and I've always made sure to never skip getting at least some sleep for more than one night in a row. For me the appeal wasn't so much the high, it's the energy boost. Even when I'd speed, I'm not trying to go supersonic. I'm just taking a hit or two at a time and trying to be extra productive and get some work done around the house or whatever.
Ffwd I'm still smoking occasionally but still in control of myself for the most part, I don't do it most days and when I do I can choose when it's time to put it away without a second thought, but I'd like to stop entirely and I'm admittedly struggling with that. I travel for work, when I'm away from home I don't bring it with me and it isn't a big deal. I don't get sick or even severe cravings, worst case I'm just extra tired for a couple days. But when I get home again, despite telling myself I should leave it alone and that I don't need it to get things done, I find myself either lacking enough motivation to want to do much of anything but relax and watch TV, or reaching for the pipe to get my energy level up so I can get some shit done on my long to do list.
So I guess I'm looking for suggestions / advice for overcoming the feeling on some level like I became dependent on that artificial motivation to still be able to do / want to do things other than sit on my ass and be lazy when I'm at home, so I can quit and put it away permanently and forget about it before it does any more damage to me.