How Did I Slowly Become Someone I Never Thought I’d Be?
Sometimes I look back at my journey and wonder how much a person can slowly change without realizing it.
At first, I considered myself completely straight. I had a few gay incidents but kept telling myself it “didn’t count” because it was only curiosity or just a blowjob.
Then I became attached to giving oral to one guy regularly, and that was the point where I finally admitted to myself that I was bisexual.
After that, things slowly escalated: one guy became multiple guys, curiosity became preference, and I realized I was becoming more attracted to men than women emotionally and sexually.
For a long time I still resisted certain labels. I didn’t see myself as feminine, submissive, or a “sissy.” But after exploring anal and more submissive experiences with multiple men, I slowly started accepting that side of myself too.
Then humiliation/submission became part of it. Things like serving, obeying, licking feet, doing degrading tasks, craving validation from dominant men… even then I still told myself:
“I’m not a slave.”
But after meeting my first genuinely master-type person, something mentally changed for me and I started accepting that identity too.
What confuses me most is how every stage felt impossible to imagine before it happened:
Straight → curious
Curious → bisexual
Bisexual → more attracted to men
Submissive → sissy
Sissy → slave
Even crossdressing was something I once thought I would never enjoy, and now it’s part of me too.
Sometimes I genuinely wonder:
Was this always hidden inside me slowly coming out?
Or did repeated experiences and validation slowly reshape my identity over time?
Has anyone else experienced this kind of gradual transformation in sexuality/kink identity?