4 years of sissy/feminization porn is starting to affect my real sex life. How do I stop?
I think sissy/feminization porn has changed my sexuality over the last 4 years and I genuinely want to stop. How do I get out of this?
I've been watching almost exclusively sissy/feminization porn for nearly 4 years now, and sometimes listening to hypnosis audios too.
In the beginning I was completely in denial about it. I was only interested in women and even the idea of being attracted to dick was something I really didn't want. But over the years I feel like my boundaries and desires have slowly changed. Things I would have immediately rejected years ago can turn me on now, and I've become way more submissive and interested in actually trying some of the things I've watched.
What scares me the most is that it seems to be affecting my real sex life too. Sometimes I look at my girlfriend's pussy and actually feel a slight sense of disgust, which is crazy to me because that wasn't how I used to feel at all. Even having sex with her has become difficult sometimes.
The confusing part is that all the sissy stuff makes me extremely horny, but at the same time I genuinely don't want this to keep controlling me. Deep down I want to get away from it.
There was a time when I bought feminine clothes, dressed up, posted pictures/videos and went much further with it. Eventually I deleted everything and threw the clothes away because I wanted to stop. I don't post femboy stuff anymore, but the urge itself never really disappeared and I keep going back to the porn.
I don't want to shame anyone who's genuinely into this or say there's anything wrong with being feminine, submissive, bi, gay or whatever. This is specifically about me feeling like I've spent years reinforcing something through porn that I don't actually want to keep reinforcing, and now I'm worried about how much it's affecting my attraction and my relationship.
Has anyone experienced something similar and actually managed to step away from it? Did stopping the porn for a long time change anything for you, and how did you deal with the urges without eventually going back?