u/Practical_Exam5303

Hey everyone.

I’ve been using Restore In Comfort packers for a couple of months now and I absolutely love the comfort and convenience. Unfortunately after enough use the gripper has split in two. I’m wondering what the best practices for extending the life cycle of these things would be.

I wash them every few days with just bar soap in the shower, and haven’t had any issues with them to this point. I ordered a couple backups with my next set of packers just in case, but for those who use these things, how can I limit the damage to grippers in the future?

What’s up everyone, I’ve only been at the restoration game for a few months but I wanted to take some time to reflect, maybe tell a little bit of a personal story, and explore how both deciding to restore and being in the middle of the process has changed my perspective… I’m also bored and decided to engage in a little sincerity, plus I wanted to do a bit of a writing exercise. Kind of a vent post, so forgive me.

Like many men in the US, I was circumcised as an infant- sadly, I wish I could say that was the worst that happened to me. I was born prematurely; induced because of a urinary blockage with was causing kidney damage and led to me developing chronic kidney disease, and I also ended up developing cerebral palsy due to complications in the birth process. Fortunately my case is mild, but I do use leg braces and a cane to walk, and have some motor difficulties. I have had two kidney transplants, at ages 3 and 18, as well as a host of other more minor procedures that have nevertheless left me with quite the collection of surgical scars and shaky body image and confidence- and, I think, probably more trauma than I initially realized (this part is related to restoration, and I’ll circle back to it later).

 I had known for a long time about the consequences of circumcision, as they had been impressed upon me during a sex ed class in high school where I met my first intactivist in the wild- my teacher. Suffice it to say that all of the side effects of the procedure that we talk about in this sub- the nerve damage, the decreased sensation, the sexual frustration- I had heard about before I even had heard of the term “foreskin restoration”. Now, for a developing teenager, you can imagine that this was quite the shock; I had known, of course, that some people were circumcised and others not, and that there were differences, but not that they could be so consequential. This sent me down a bit of a spiral at  the time, for all the usual reasons, fueled not only by these realizations but also by the fact that this just felt like yet another card in a bad hand.

 I managed to eventually rationalize it by thinking that it was a small thing, really, in comparison to everything else I had been through, and that there could very well have been decent medical reasons for my circumcision (lower risk of infection, easier to care for, maybe, I don’t know) and my discontent ended up fading into the back of my mind after a while; around this time, when I was graduating high school, my kidneys were beginning to fail and I was in line for a second transplant, leaving me with little energy to care about much of anything, never mind my circumcision status. Fortunately, I survived thanks to a generous donor, and my health has remained relatively stable. The best way I can describe that journey is that organ failure and reception of donated organs is perhaps the closest we can get to death and resurrection in this life… I was at the point where I was beginning to accept the possibility of my death. When you’re that tired, nothing sounds better than a little rest.

Fast forward several years. I’m not doing the best mentally; I’m depressed, can’t focus, awfully unmotivated, and just feeling overall kind of sad. The weight of my conditions is starting to press upon me quite a bit, and I just start thinking about everything I’ve been through- all the procedures I’ve undergone, all the testing I’ve done, and all the extremely invasive examinations I’ve had to endure- and the depression is just getting worse and worse; there’s no way out for me, I remember thinking. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when the elevator went out in my apartment for a solid two months, leaving me with no choice but to labor up five flights of stairs; and I remember falling when I got to the top… and something snapped.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I did nothing but cry for days. I didn’t want to wake up in the morning or do much of anything; that was probably the blackest my depression has ever gotten. What was the point to life, I figured, if my health was only going to be going from bad to worse? How could I ever approximate a normal existence? Was I doomed to be a simulacrum of a human being for my entire life?

Eventually I started seeing a therapist and came to realize that I had a lot of trauma from my medical history that I hadn’t really processed that well; not so much a circumcision trauma (after all, I was under anesthesia at the time, so I don’t think it was that) but everything else I had dealt with. To sum it up in as succinctly as I can, I’m pretty sure I’ve had every part of my body, every orifice, every fluid, poked, prodded, examined, extracted, probed and so on, for basically my entire childhood. With more stable health I’ve had to have less work done, but I still get panic attacks sometimes during appointments or examinations, particularly if those exams are of an intimate nature. It’s taken me some time to process the fact that these things weren’t normal experiences for a child, or that my body was mine and not just the object of examination, so to speak; it’s affected my confidence and ability to form relationships, whether intimate or not, and it’s something I’ve had to try to work on every day.

Bringing this back to restoration; the day that I had taken that fall, I went to take a shower, and as I was looking at myself in the mirror after, all I could see was all those scars, including my circumcision scar… and I was just so crushed and disgusted. But after a while, the specter of restoration arose again, and I decided then and there that no matter what happened, I owed it to myself to give restoration a try. I would not live my whole life wondering what if. For once, I was going to make a choice about my body and do something for myself, instead of having something be done to me.

 All that said, when I started reading up on restoration again, the logistics seemed like a lot; not only did I have extra health considerations, but the shame of even wanting something like this came up over and over again. Why did I even want foreskin? How would I explain myself if I were found out or the topic came up? But thanks to the people and information in this community, I was able to find a routine that worked for me, and more than that, I found that I wasn’t alone; we all have our own stories, but we all share the same goal.

As I cross the 4-month mark of my restoration journey, I wanted to just take a moment to thank you all for your help and for leading me to believe that restoration is a possibility for me. I hope, too, that I have been able to help others in turn, whether that’s to offer advice or my own experiences. When I see the changes that have taken place even over this short time, I know that I’m making an effort to be the person I want to be and not just what my circumstances have made me, and that is more psychologically satisfying than I can fully express.

Thank you all so much for being here… I’m not 100% sure why I made this post other than to express some feelings I needed to get out, but thank you for reading if you made it this far, and KOT.

Hey guys 👋

Been restoring consistently for a while now, journeying towards a 4 month anniversary. I’ve seen differences and I’m enjoying the journey, but I just wanted to ask you guys how you deal with an obstacle that’s been coming up a bit for me recently.

I promise I’m asking this in good faith… how do you all deal with (if you ever do) that voice in your head that tells you you’re crazy for doing this? Maybe it’s because I don’t really have anyone to talk about this with other than people in this community, but I feel like I’m carrying around this shame where I’m wondering why I’m doing this and why I care so much.

I don’t want to demotivate anyone (or myself) but sometimes I wish I could have just remained unaware of restoring or not cared. Now as things stand I feel like, you know, I can’t unsee what I’ve seen, so I’m not planning on stopping really.

Maybe I just need to have the process take up less of my mental map or something. I dunno, was just ruminating and wanted to get some thoughts out.

Thanks for reading :)

So l have been tugging pretty steadily this month, clocking over 500 hours. For the longest time I have had no issues, apart from pain while using the CAR-1 that necessitated removal- almost certainly a consequence of too much tension.

But now I’m seriously concerned I might have done real damage. My penis is numb and tingly to the touch, particularly at the tip and at the ventral skin by my frenulum. Sensation is distant and its effecting my functionality and confidence in the process. I know nerves and sensation fluctuate and I know I probably just need to take a break for a while… but I’m feeling kinda scared that I might have caused myself real problems, especially with numbness near the urethra that is affecting my ability to pee.

Have I actually caused permanent harm? How long does it take sensation to return on average? And is it safe to continue using very low tension at least?

I’ll try to go into more detail if necessary but I’m starting to be convinced I should stop restoring for my own health. Don’t want to but it’s not worth risking my already fragile health… I’ve been using just my retainer in the meantime.

So the battle continues to break in my new CAR-1, and the gripper has moved from pinching with crushing intensity to just kind of firmly grasping the skin.

But I’m still burning out from gripper fatigue almost exactly one hour after device application every time. Fortunately(?) it hurts less than it did before, but I’m worried that I’m clamping myself to death here.
The regimen has stayed the same- one squeeze of the air pump- I know my limits- but I feel as if the gripper should not be pinching as soon as it is. I don’t know if it’s a sizing issue or what.

Do I just have to build up a tolerance and gut it out until I have enough skin somehow? Should I size up? Should I just eat the cost and try other device options instead?

I’m virtually certain all of these questions have been answered elsewhere but frustration continues…

In my arrogance, I thought I would go longer before making a frustration/vent post, but here we are. Hopefully, someone on the fence about restoring or also just starting out finds this helpful, but as with all things in this business, YMMV. Just wanted to share some thoughts from a beginner and get a few things off my chest. Apologies if this gets too long-winded.

So I've been at the restoring game for a solid two months as of today. Obviously, this is a long journey, and it's more about the process than the results, and I don't want to expect too much and so on, but I'm just a bit frustrated and wondering if I'm doing something wrong.usly this is a long journey and it's more about the process than the results, and I don't want to expect too much and so on, but I'm just a bit frustrated and wondering if I'm doing something wrong. My first month involved a haphazard regimen of manual methods, every hour on the hour for a few minutes a session. To my surprise, I actually started to notice changes- I was seeing more mobility in the shaft skin, I could stretch it farther than I ever had before, and despite a few panic attacks here and there about temporary numbness or freaky-looking skin bunching, I was getting actual results! Despite all of my earlier inhibitions and doubts, the lightbulb had finally switched on. Maybe there was something to this, and maybe it wasn't just something dreamed up by cranks...

Fast forward about a month or so, and I've got a couple of hundred hours in, getting better skin mobility, but starting to get really tired of making time for manuals every day. With trepidation, I step into the world of devices, and with the help of some people in this lovely community, I eventually settle on Chris' tugger. Every fear I have about how practicable it will be to implement in my life proves groundless, and I take to it like a fish to water. Hours are being logged, small changes are adding up, those vaunted wrinkles and folds appear, and I am on board. Great device, would recommend to every beginner.

Then, I get a retainer to wear at night so I can really settle in to the lifestyle. Before I know it, the thing doesn't fall off at night anymore, and I'm already seeing and feeling a difference; it's like a veil falling from my eyes, and it's changing my relationship to my body in a way that I'm still not quite sure I've mentally adjusted to. My zeal rises to a fever pitch, and I begin eagerly hunting for new ways to shake up my routine.

I see people really talking up inflation methods and the CAR-1 in particualr, and I bite the bullet on it after some preliminary research. Alas, this change has not worked out well so far; I make the beginner's mistake of putting too much air in and putting myself in a position where I can't make adjustments, and the ensuing discomfort helps me learn why people say to not inflate. Even now I can't use it for more than an hour at a time, and with two pumps of air at most.

Now, as I wonder why I made this post, I can only summon a few things to mind right now; I wanted to just vent about my frustrations (which become much more prevalent after you hit your first painful obstacles). I wanted to document my experience in case it helps anyone else starting to restore or on the fence. And I just wanted to pick the community's collective brain about possible next steps.

I've done the first part, so I wanted to address the second about my personal experience and overall views on the restoration process: I'm absolutely not giving up, I'm not throwing in the towel or anything like that. I really have enjoyed the process and being a part of this community tremendously, and it's the best decision I've made for my personal well-being in quite some time. I encourage anyone on the fence about restoring to get started, and I have nothing but the utmost gratitude for everyone in this community who have been so helpful as I've fumbled my way through this; people will help you if you have questions.

I guess having hit my first serious obstacle and mental roadblock has kind of thrown me for a loop; I prided myself on being consistent but it's hard when you hit the pain wall, and at the risk of sounding really pouty, its just frustrating; I know the process takes a long time and I know not to expect anything, but I'm just wondering:

- Do I keep trying to gut it out with inflation? I know it can take a while to adapt to, but I'm frankly a bit of a pussy and every mishap freaks me out; I once overinflated by just a touch without being in a position to easily adjust the amount of air in the device, and let me tell you, there's a reason that people say to be careful with how much air you use.

- If I was to expand my arsenal and try another method, what would be worth looking into? I know T-taping is popular for those in the low CI camp, and I have the supplies for it and am not necessarily against it... but I am lazy. My favorite part about switching from manuals to a device is that I can just set something and not have to think about it for the rest of the day, secure in the knowledge that the work is always being done. What other options are low-maintenance and idiot-proof enough that a bonehead like me could use them? It goes without saying since these always seem to be people's requiremnents, but it would ideally be easy to apply/clean, comfortable, and discreet.

I want to end this confusing and long-winded post by thanking you for reading and thanking the community at large for giving me the opportunity to pursue something I thought I never would be able to. You are all truly wonderful and this place has been a great resource. I feel as if there's so much more I want to say but I can't find the words right now and this has gone on too long already.

Thank you all for being here.