I Might Have a Crush on My Friend
Everyone mentioned is 18+
I’d grown up in a small, rural town in the middle of nowhere Texas, a place where everyone knew everyone and privacy was a myth. It was boring, repetitive and terrifying; the thought of my secret coming out was nightmare fuel all through middle and high school. Moving away from that town to go to college was what saved me, I’d gone from no options to a buffet. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself honestly, so I took it slow.
College was a slow exploration, getting comfortable with the fact that I could pursue other men and not be made the town pariah because of it. It took a while, I was so deep in the closet that I’m pretty sure I saw a faun once. My first hookup with a guy was disastrous, especially because I wasn’t really sure if I was a top or bottom and the other guy didn’t have the patience for me.
Time went on, classes and friends carried me through college. I met a couple of guys, but nothing ever stuck. I was out in a quiet way, adverse to hiding the fact but not loudly broadcasting. It was better than life in the closet in a small town, but still I was lonely.
College ended, my friends and I graduated, and the job hunt hit in full force. I was luckier than most, an internship ended up in a job offer waiting for me as soon as I had a diploma in hand. There was no need to move back home, no desperate hunt for another escape and no looking at what going back into the closet would be like. The only downside, it was in a city across the country and away from anyone I knew. I packed everything I owned in the back of my beat up hatchback and jumped in.
Travis was the first friend I made in the new city. Shortly after I moved into my new apartment, I joined a climbing gym to get some exercise. The first day I showed up after getting my membership, he was there; tall and blond, wearing a tight shirt that showed off a big chest. He’d caught my eye mainly because of the way his harness showed off his ass, it was a bit mesmerizing. It took actual effort to pull my eyes away and grab my own gear, finding a section of wall I could warm up on.
The warm up wall was solid, enough to get me started, but not too much of a challenge. I’d climbed some in college, but it’d been a while and I wanted to work my way back into things. Dropping to the mat, I climbed to my feet and made for my water bottle.
“Hey man, how’s it going?” Turning, I found myself face to face with the blond guy from earlier.
“Uh, p-pretty good.” My damn brain and tongue both had decided to mutiny at the same time, making words thick and hard to come by. Freaking traitors.
“I’m Travis! Don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” He flashed a brilliant smile at me, one that made my chest flutter a bit. This wasn’t good.
“It’s my first time here, just moved to the city.” Breathing, I worked to untangle my nerves a bit. “I’m Cameron, by the way. Cam.” Travis extended a fist for me to bump and the conversation was off.
He worked as a loan underwriter for a bank, the amount of time behind a desk driving him to seek physical activity to keep from going insane. He’d lived in the city for most of his life and new a slew of locations that had killer food and drinks. He was in awe that I had picked up and moved here for a job, and I should totally check out a new Korean place he heard about from a friend sometime.
Conversation with Travis was mildly overwhelming, but also easy. The flow never stopped, pausing as either one of us climbed but picking back up without losing a beat in between. He took that I was more reserved in stride, naturally filling in quiet places but also allowing me time to speak when I wanted to. It was the easiest I’d ever fallen into a conversation with someone I’d just met.
We’d exchanged numbers after the gym, him in the name of hitting the gym again together or just hanging out, me because I didn’t want to let this hot guy go off into the void to never be seen again. He texted later that day, asking about my favorite foods. That text turned into a running conversation that quickly morphed into Travis and I talking most days.
Weeks passed, my job turned out to be both boring and satisfying at the same time. The city had a number of cool hang out spots and an excellent food scene. My friendship with Travis grew until we were hanging out most weekends, working in dinner sometimes during the week. Learning more about Travis, I never questioned that he was as straight as they come, his natural golden retriever energy making him slightly dopey around women. His other friends and I cracked up on a number of occasions, watching him strike out while talking with women, his natural charm fleeing him as soon as he tried to flirt.
“Man, why do I suck at this?” he asked, sitting down next to me. We were out at a bar on a Friday night, both dressed up a bit and nursing a couple of beers.
“You over think it,” I commented. It was the second time tonight that he’d shot his shot and gotten turned down. I felt a bit bad, he generally took it well but it was weighing on him tonight.
“Yeah, maybe.” He took a long pull on his beer, draining it before setting the glass down on the tabletop. “I think I’m over it for tonight.”
“Yeah? We can head out, just let me close out.” Travis nodded, uncharacteristically quiet as he looked off into the crowd of people. He had downed a few beers, I could tell he was more than a little tipsy and while he was generally a happy drunk, he got down on rare occasions when he’d had a few.
Flagging down a bartender, I closed out, working my way back to Travis through the milling crowd of people. “C’mon man, let’s get out of here.”
Travis followed me out, tagging along with me to my car since he was in no state to drive. “Mind if I crash at your place?”
“Yeah, my couch is all yours.”
Pulling in to my parking spot at my apartment, we both jumped out. Walking up the stairs to my apartment, Travis stumbled, just catching himself on the railing. “You good?” I asked.
“Yeah, just had more to drink than I thought.” He was quiet a moment as he worked his way up the stairs, slower than his usual pace. “You gay guys have it easy.”
“In what way?” I laughed.
“Dudes are easy to get with, they all want sex so there’s no games.”
“Usually, but there’s a different kind of drama with guys. Plus the whole homophobia thing kind of pushes the scales in the other direction.” I snickered slightly as I unlocked the door to my apartment.
Travis have tripped over himself as he fell on my couch, his big body mostly sprawled across the cushions but still hanging off somehow. I snorted and moved to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water for him.
“Get comfy dude, you’re going to regret sleeping like that.” I set the bottle of water next to him and stopped in the hallway, grabbing a blanket for him out of the linen closet. Walking back into the living room, I found Travis sitting up on the couch shirtless and working at getting his jeans off.
I couldn’t help myself, looking over his body as he stripped in front of me. His pecs were boulders, covered with a dusting of golden hairs that swooped low, coating his stomach and dipping into his underwear. Underwear that I had a great look at as he pulled his jeans off, leaving him in nothing but a pair of black boxerbriefs. I gulped as his underwear dipped, pulled low as his jeans stuck, the top of his bush exposed to me.
Clearing my throat and mentally shaking myself, I tossed the blanket on the couch and bid Travis a good night. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I took a couple of deep breaths to collect myself and to try and tame the growing bulge in my pants. Grabbing a pair of pajama pants, I quickly stripped, my outfit for the evening tossed across the room.
I’d always kind of liked my body, tall and slender, I had muscle definition but no bulk. The one guy I’d dated in college had loved how fuzzy my stomach was, the dark hair contrasting hard against my pale skin.
I was still checking myself out when my bedroom door swung open, Travis standing there in nothing but his underwear. “You got a pillow?” he asked.
“Shit!” I yelped, moving to cover myself and then catching myself. We’d changed around each other in the locker room, but this was the first full naked moment.
“Sorry,” Travis mumbled. I looked at him as I grabbed a pillow off my bed, watching as his eyes strayed over my body. Weirdly, it felt like he was checking me out, his gaze landing on my crotch for far longer than it should have.
Handing the pillow over, Travis’s gaze snapped to my face before skittering away. He grunted and grabbed the pillow, turning and heading back out to the living room. I pulled my pajama pants on, considering what had just happened. I wasn’t sure if I had read too much into it, but he had definitely been looking at my junk for a bit too long for a straight dude.
The thoughts spun through my head as I laid down. It took a while before sleep finally caught me.