Craving male touch
I know the title of this post will get me a lot of creeps in my inbox. I have been celibate for over 16 months now.. I promised myself that I will not sleep with someone that I don't have a connection with. But sometimes, just sometimes, my body takes over my mind.. And I wish, no, I crave human touch (male only, I'm not a lesbian, not that I know of.)
Yesterday was one such day.. I have a friend, who I met on reddit and we've been sexting, having phone sex almost since the time that I last had sex (so around 16 months).. And we've built a good connection. We make each other horny, we finish each other off with our dirty talk, and we have some good time together.. We've not seen each other's face..
Yesterday, while talking to him, I got so horny, that I told him to come over to my place (we don't live very far from each other). He almost came over, he was booking the cab, but the waiting time was a lot, and in that time, he started over thinking a bit (something that I should have been doing). I'm actually glad that he didn't come over, because this is something that we've discussed earlier also.. We don't want to ruin what we have together.
Saner minds (his mostly) prevailed, and we didn't meet. But the craving and desperation I had in my body for someone to touch me, it just made me feel like crap. And although this is something that I don't think about a lot, I kept wishing that I was someone who could indulge in casual sex. But my brain being the way it is, I just can't enter into a physical thing with anyone, without having some kind of an emotional connection.
Well.. I don't know what I'm saying here. I don't know if or when I'll find the person who's supposed to be mine. I need a good guy, but good guys almost always seem to be really slow when it comes to all this. Or they turn out to be desperate fakes (Barney Stinson types) who will just say anything to get into a woman's pants..
Maybe this is just a wish, that I'm floating out in the world, that I'll find my person.. Sooner rather than later..
Adios.