I took 100 mg last night with 1800 mg of gabapentin about 15 hours ago. I slept it off, but this morning I still feel kind of wonky. Not as bad as last night, but I don’t know if it’s placebo or it’s still having an effect on me.
I’ve done a lot of drugs in my 22 years of life. Benzos, ketamine, cocaine, amphetamines, psychedelics, weed, MDMA, etc. the list goes on. Never really had a problem with addiction though (excluding cigarettes, and a very heavy weed habit during my teenage years.)
However, there was one class of drugs I never touched in my entire life up until a few days ago, opioids. I told myself I would never touch them, I’ve seen what opioid addiction does to people and the people around them firsthand, and I wanted no part in that.
It’s been pretty shitty last few weeks of my life, to say the least. One of my closest friends since elementary school shot himself in the middle of April, I lost my job, and my girlfriend broke up with me a week to top it all off. To say the least, I have been very depressed. Not trying to excuse this dumbass decision I’m about to tell you guys about, it’s merely an explanation.
Anyways, to get to the point, on Wednesday night, I made a very impulsive decision and bought a 40mg ER oxy tablet from my drug dealer. I knew opioids made people happy, it made them forget all their problems, and hey, I’ve done very addictive drugs in the past and haven’t had any real issues. How bad could it really be?
I took half of the pill and waited. 1 hour in, nothing. Was very irritated, but within the next 30 minutes, I finally felt what all the hype was about. I felt fucking amazing. Everything about all those stories about opioids being a warm blanket that takes away all your problems are 100% true.
Immediately fell in love with it. Took the other half of the pill the next night, not before crushing it up letting it dissolve in coke for 8 hours because I saw online that turns ER pills into IR, and I did not want to wait. Tonight, I went and bought two more IR pills from my dealer, only 10 mgs each this time, but the ER took like an hour and half to kick in, and I didn’t want to wait for it to dissolve in coke.
I recognize now though that this was major fuck-up, and I told my dealer not to sell me anymore oxy, and he agreed. I’m glad I nipped this in bud early on, but I know I’ll never forget this feeling. I hope I have the self control to never touch this shit again.