36 [F4M] more than a fantasy
I met someone here. For eight months, we chatted and called, until he suddenly disappeared. Today, I learned the truth: he was married, with a child.
I was shocked but not shattered. After all, there was no deep attachment, only the illusion of chemistry that faded drastically. Suspicious about his lack of enthusiasm to take our friendship offline, I told myself maybe he wasn’t ready, and in the meantime, it was harmless to keep talking. It felt nice to have someone to “make lambing” with at the end of a long day. It was better than silence. It was better than loneliness.
I felt pity for the wife, but I also felt pity for me. Because while I let myself be strung along, what I really wanted all along is something more meaningful than a talking stage that would never progress.
I am a successful woman who built a life she would never regret. I avoided teenage pregnancy, stayed in school, graduated, and carved out a name without pedigree or money. I am no longer at my physical peak—time has curved my edges. My body carries the marks of years lived fully, and my spirit carries the wisdom of choices made with intention.
I am sweet, but I am not naïve. I am strong, but I am not unfeeling. I am intimidating only to those who mistake confidence for arrogance. The truth is, I am simply a woman who knows how to carry herself—with grace, values, and a little kanal sense of humor.
I don’t want to be some lonely guy’s pastime, or some married man’s escape from a miserable marriage. I don’t want to be someone’s escape from reality. I want to be someone’s reality.
The internet, like the rest of the world, is full of sketchy people. But if someone like me can remain hopeful for something genuine, then I know there are others out there too.
If this is you, send me a message. Maybe that’s the only thing keeping us from discovering what we’ve both been searching for.