Hopeless romantic for cock?
I'm bisexual, I keep the two preferences 100% separated so I guess that makes me halfways in the closet?
I'm attracted to women but sometimes I find myself yearning to take my hands off the wheel to submit to cock that can dominate me.
This lead to my search on Grindr with high hopes of others wanting to be as direct and straightforward as me
*All people in this story are/were +18*
I had 3 meets on Grindr in my 5 year search span
The first meet wasn't great the first time we met, but the next two times got better and better as the chemistry was finally starting to build.
I ruined it on the 3rd occasion that we met by not letting him kiss me when he was cumming inside of me while fucking the cum outta me.
In the moment I thought kissing was too gay, & only wanted to suck dick & take dick. He stood buthurtt about me not wanting to kiss him & never met up with me again after that. He went so far to try & make me jealous that he went & got a gf & told me that was the reason he was done. So I moved on telling myself his dick wasn't big anyways
Up to this day I regret not kissing him
Not too long ago I desperately messaged him telling him sorry that I wasn't ready the last time we met, & that I wanted him to be the first guy I kiss.
He told me to fuck off & changed his # the next day
I guess I had that coming
The second guy I met had a beautiful cock
I was turned off when I got to his apartment because he was a pack rat, we had to walk sideways in a path to the couch because of all shoulder-high stacks of junk that he had all over.
But I quickly distracted myself grabbing on his cock through his basketball shorts forgetting all about the mess that was around me & entertained myself giving him an hour long, passionate blowjob
My entire face and body was drenched with spit
I used the spit that puddled his floor to lube my hole up as I got myself into doggy position
I remember smiling ear to ear with my ass in the air waiting to be rewarded for sucking his cock so good.
I was so disappointed when he came after 4-6 strokes. I laughed in the moment as I quickly started sucking him again hoping to keep him hard.
It annoyed me feeling his cock soften in my mouth so I got dressed and left
I remember leaving feeling a strong urge to brag to girls about how I probably suck dick better than them lol
But I kept the bragging rights to myself
The third meet was the least favorable, he was circumcised lol
I couldn't get my groove on when I was giving him head.
I told him how weird it felt trying to suck a cut cock and apologized for the shitty boring bj.
He comforted me telling me it was okay grabbing my face while nodding to ensure I was ready for what was coming next.
I had never felt like such a bitch looking up at him nodding back... I loved it. He spat in my mouth & gently slapped me telling me I was guna be a good boy and swallow it... But I spat back up at his face giggling lol
It seemed to upset him in a horny way that I didn't listen & he grabbed my head forcing his cock down my throat trying to make me gag.
I was laughing while he was viciously fucking my throat because he was trying so hard to get a gag reflex outta me
When he finally took his cock outta my throat I spat up at his face again and laughed even harder
Im guessing he liked it by how eagerly he put me into position to plow me.
The loud clap from his ballsack slapping against mine with every stroke got me so fucken hard that I started telling him to call me a good lil faggot
Its too dam bad his dick wasn't big enough to give me the fullness that I needed to get off
I told him to spray my face with his load but he was a dribbler ☹️
This past year has been a drought & find nothing but flakes on Grindr
I dont have the willingness or the knowledge of how to signal my desire for cock with guys I come across in person
I've thought of going to a gaybar outta town but I'm too afraid of catching an std
Im not fond of the idea of sucking dick with a condom. I wanna feel cock in my mouth not latex
I'm feeling forever doomed & don't think my fantasy of getting fucked till I tap out will ever be something that I experience
Sadlyfe :(