u/Valuable_Bend9247

It took me a while to notice your … preference in the beginning. It was the smallest things at first, a love of a particular vein of songs (like Bubble Gum Bitch by the divine Maranda Heart) that resulted in a suspicious repetition of its flowery words from almost every speaker in our apartment, the little quiver that ran through you when certain actresses would strut across the screens, and the way you would give me a little affectionate squeeze when I mocked the airy diction of the valley girls … I always thought it was because you found it funny …

Then there were the other things that seem a lot more obvious in retrospect. When I was thinking about dying my hair you encouraged me to go blond instead of the red I was originally leaning towards. You showered me with pretty dresses … and less pretty but more revealing lingerie. You always responded so passionately when I was all dolled up for a night on the town, or one of the events your busy calendar often forced us to attend. Still even after months I never put the pieces together. Then I found the folder on your computer.

I promise I wasn’t snooping or anything! I left my laptop charger down in the car and had to check and email for class. Anyway, I figure you won’t be too mad at me … not after you see me. See, I’ve decided that if this what you’re into, I can play along, at least for a bit …

So now I wait for you, hair platinum blond, pulled up in pigtails in bright pink scrunchies. The figure hugging black dress outlines the swell of my breasts (artificially padded by the Victoria Secret Miracle Bra … hey a girl can’t have everything) and the plump bubble butt you love to squeeze (but she can have some things). The hem of the dress is just above my knees, leaving my long-tanned legs exposed to the air under the fishnet stockings.

As I wait for you, I run my tongue nervously over my bright red full lips, drumming my artificial French-tipped nails on the stem of the martini glass held tightly in my hands. I’m not even sure if you like martini’s … or if I made it right … but hell if you’re going to go in for a penny go in for a pound.

My heart only races faster as I hear your footsteps outside and see the door handle start to turn. As the door swings inwards I step forward, beaming at you with all the over the top enthusiasm I can muster. “Like welcome home!”