But first, let's have a small chat and maybe a couple of vodka glasses. Don't worry 🥺 I have no intention of making you suffer. Consent is the key! Or is it communication 🤔, who cares, I'm here to help you 🤍🫶🏼
As the title suggests, you don't need all that energy floating around, I know we get fed weird propaganda about how subs comes in different shades (broke mind you) and how there are differences between a finsub and a buyer, but I think it was made by someone who doesn't understand the broader concept of the community.
While yes differences help you navigate your dynamics well, they're usually shared by those who don't understand the benefits of being a domme.
So, clean your profile, fresh up your wishlist, have a new tribute (add 20$, oil prices are rising, your tribute is tied to that too), block lurkers, have an LF for more profits, and never feel ashamed of yourself if you made mistakes, we all started somewhere.
This summer, your motto should be "if broken, burn it," go ahead & take out the trash from your DMs. That fetid smell is probably what's keeping you from getting sends, bad energy stinks, and kills potential manifestation.
Never give an ultimatum or do weekly/monthly bullshit unless you get at least a 4-5 send upfront.
And remember to always be a SCUM about it ❤️.
Now I'm aware this isn't the main reason, and I acknowledge that, but let me cook.
In the broader d/s dynamic, the dom (she/he/they) takes care of the sub, providing support, structure, discipline, and guidance, this includes taking care of financial needs and "paypig" for everything or handling the sub's finances (I know this is considered the "og findom" but I call it vanilla findom because it's just plain stuff and still adhere to the norm, personally, you do you).
In findom, with the dom being a woman, it's double the subversion, she is in control, and she doesn't pay for the sub, he has to pay (doing the normal thing any vanilla man who's dating/in relationship does) while submitting to his dom, that's usually the driving part of "humiliation".
Now, many doms who date kinky men/in FLR committed relationship won't consider the current scene findom (the usual simps/paypig, cashmeets, ATM meets), because :
- They either don't see themselves worthy of worshipping, think they have to "work" to earn that money - hence why they prefer protocols/budget/giving permission, or don't actually have the financial sadism to enjoy that.
- Have unresolved misogynistic/whorephobia/projections they need to work on.
- Too afraid to handle men who use them as kink dispensers.
So Instead of acknowledging it's not for them or sticking to their vanilla "budget" stuff, they hate on younger doms who are actually doing real findom, make fun of survival sex workers, or worse slxt shame other women (i.e showing body =/= domination).
On another hand, men who hates on findom from the outside, are simply prude brokeass men who don't like when women enjoy themselves and get spoiled (you would see them repeating the same bullshit splenda uncs say about "earing" the send), and when you tell them to visit a prodomme if they want "worthy" domination, they move the goalposts about how "real findom" exists i.e the FLR vanilla stuff.
The irony is that they don't mention cashmeets or shopping sprees when they should because it's not "transactional/sw," but they won't. Why? because they are brokeass cheap misogynistic waste of air, they don't have the fund nor the generosity for that, and they hate women/are jealous of them.
So even within the progressive community that suppose not to kink shame anyone, a woman subverting the norm of the community, is frowned upon, she is only accepted if she did that while offering free labor (budgeting/management/spreadsheet..ect), if you outsourced that or made the sub handle it, then your domination is questioned.
Of course, the community also benefits from sw/prodommes who handle the flooding of fetishists/clients while simultaneously shaming/hating on them.
So next time you read someone post about how "real findom is lost" ask yourself, who's benefiting here and why.
I have seen many posts that glamorze "whale" subs and hold them to a standard that simply treat them as gems, without understanding how they might actually be.
When you understand that even the "richest man" is trying to maximize his profit without losing a dime, similar to how billionaires make more while paying their workers less, you will be more skeptical about having someone sending you 5 digits or taking you shopping on less than what they actually make.
That's why I always recommend checking out what our "vanilla" colleagues on sugaring spaces (no, not the lifestyle one. It's filled with splenda & pickmes), learn from their money knowledge, how they have their "amounts" measured, and while they do offer more, they can help you a lot.
I won't shame any domme if she didn't know better, but I will always advocate for you to have the best experience. Will you amplify your profits and enjoy your kinks.
Treat every sub approach yout the same, as long as you're not getting any send, they are all broke lõsers to you.
Side note : be aware of "whales" who are actually splenda uncs trying to get cheap stuff from you because they couldn't land a sugar baby, always remember to ask the girls, one of us would definitely have an experience and will help you!
I was contemplating writing this post, but I have nothing to lose, and I think women here on this side of reddit should be aware of this.
Not creating any drama or anything.
Sister, no one in the findom community will have your back (here we would), no mods, no "friends," not even your "subs."
I'm sorry to break it to you, but people laugh and cackle with the same men who target you and harass you, never assume someone here will stand against a random man for you, people aren't that invested in supporting you, but damn well they are invested in joking and making fun of your pain and struggles.
I have always said that old women in Western cultures don't practice the sacred responsibility of protecting the youngest, and the BDSM community keeps proving me right.
Those women lack the self-respect to separate themselves from men and to understand the danger they're exposing others to.
Have a group of women you trust around you, never share personal information, and always be aware of how men approach you.
We should always aim to respect slügs' pronouns! If an ATM is wired to be useful, why not give it proper respect.
And you know what else is easily replaceable? Yes, a machine too. Do you have one hanging around with less than 1k balance in deposits? Why?? Break it, toss it around, and make sure it will never recover.
Get yourself a new safe, shiny, filled, and definitely silent one, never bothering you. Why would you need a talking machine? Your phone is enough. broken ATMs belong in the trash.
If one is being useful enough, never reward it, it doesn't feel nor understand, don't bother, why are you so adamant in trying to make it a human, talking about "building connection" or "respecting boundaries", a tool is better when it doesn't break, does it job, and you forget about it. Do you acknowledge your toilet or stove if they're being useful? So why THE FUCK are you trying to make a slûg into human?
From now on, every man who approaches you is no more than a tool, the more you use him as one, the better, amplify your profits, then forget it exists.
My coffee costs more than 300$, but that's not the point of this post.
What's with the rise in coffee sends as a gateway to waste dommes' time, pick something else you cheap slùg 🙄.
Ladies, remove that coffee/tea send or make it more than 100$, no lowballing with whiteman's microwave coffee pleaaaseee, get you at least an organic Ethiopian coffee, something to enjoy.
And to make to add more blessings, have some gold items, gold is your friend, it will bring more healing & power to your life, take it from me!