Am I just I fantasizing or what?
I tend to fantasize about male friends. Some of my friends know I'm bi while others "suspect" I'm bi.
I seldom announce it and feel it's between my wife and I ... but if someone asks, I don't deny it. People usually ask for a reason.
I'm a westerner living in a middle east community, so gay relations are "illegal". As a result, you have to be very careful even though there is a very strong m2m vibe in most gatherings.
Admittedly, I am horrible at picking up signals. People have told me my entire life that I am blind to people flirting. But lately I seem to be seeing more and more signals being sent ... and when I respond, I get ghosted.
It really sucks, as my wife has given me a hall pass. We are both in our 60s and love each other deeply, but she is simply no longer interested in sex. I am and she wants me to be happy.
I don't know where I'm going with this post, to be honest, but if one more friends comes up to me and whispers in my ear or feels my thigh under a table ... I swear I will jump him on the spot.