u/biggertheif

So this was back when I was 18, and doing an interview at a pretty prestigious uni.

My parents were v good friends with a couple who had a son there who was 21, and since I had to travel a bit to get there, it was arranged for me to stay on his couch. He’d also help show me and around and generally look after me.
I had a boyfriend my age and he’s a responsible older figure, almost family, so you’d assume fairly there’d be nothing going on there.

Anyway, the interview was v tough (it’s notoriously difficult for this uni), and I was in a bit of a daze when I met up with him afterwards.
He gave me a tour of some of the colleges and v old buildings, took me bookshopping (and bought me a book), and in the evening we went to the pub with his friends.
He introduced me as his cousin for some reason lol, I think so that it might seem less weird that he was hanging out with an 18 year old that wasn’t even at uni yet.

There was a (v intellectual, intimidating, studenty) pub quiz which he was shockingly good at (he was on University Challenge if people know that show — he was v bright, even for a top uni).
I got a few answers in too, but got teased for giving bad ones. We fell into a bit of a dynamic where he was teasing me and making fun of me in a friendly sort of way (e.g. for not knowing who the Prime Minister Clement Attlee was, and asking if I even knew who the Prime Minister was at the moment…).

His friends (two girls and a guy) kept buying me drinks and being friendly, and I found myself surprisingly drunk by the end of the night.
We walked back to his student house, me on his arm, only slightly unbalanced (which he also teased me about, calling me a lightweight.)
He said he was glad to get to know me better, and how strange it was that I was suddenly all grown up, and even quite cute.
I said that I had a boyfriend. And that he was cute too.
He had a sly expression on his face.

We watched some TV together and drank tea when we got back, and then soon enough he set up a bed for me on his couch in the living room and went to his bedroom.
It was a Friday, and one of his housemates was staying at a girlfriend’s and the other had gone back home for the weekend, so it was just me and him.
I fancied him, of course. I’d realised that in the pub. He was kind, confident, clever, handsome and accomplished.
But then again I had a boyfriend. And I was 3 years younger than him, and a family friend.

I couldn’t sleep. And I was horny, and had all sorts of ideas in my head. So I watched porn on my phone.
And I was watching porn on my phone when I suddenly realised he was behind me.
“Oh shit!” I said.
“Oh my god!”
“How long were you standing there!”
“You were watching porn! That’s so embarrassing!”
“Stop it!” I said — while really enjoying the way he was bullying me, which he must have been able to tell.
“Was that step-sibling porn? Jesus, are you some kind of deviant?”
“Okay, in my defence, all porn is like that now. I’m just watching because they look good. I’m ignoring the incest stuff.”
“Oh, I’m sure.”
“I am.”
“Uh huh, uh huh. So you’re not watching it because you think of me as some big brother figure.”
“Well. You are sort of one, yes, but. Um.”
“And so you fancy me because of that? Weirdo.”
I was blushing. I couldn’t help but blush. I looked away from him.
“Oh my God” he laughed.

He sat down on the couch beside me.
“So what are you watching? Let me see.”
“What, you wanna watch porn with the girl you were describing to your friends as your younger cousin earlier? Are you sure you’re not the one that’s some kind of freak?”
“Go on, show me.”
I unlocked my phone again. I gritted my teeth. I pressed play.
A cute goth girl was giving a guy a blowjob.
“Wow. Wow, I’m not even sure I know any women who watch porn.”
“Oh, I’m sure you must do. They’re probably just not that open about it.”
“Uh-huh. And what do you like about it? What gets you going in porn?”
I licked my lips involuntarily. He grinned at this.
“Um. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“Um.” I swallowed. “I don’t know! A few things. Older guys, I guess.”
“Older guys?”
I looked away in embarrassment. I had no idea why I’d said that.
“Look, it’s alright. It’s alright if you have a crush on me.” He was still teasing me, bullying me, just being funny, I thought.
“What, you think I have a crush on you?”
“You obviously do. It’s not embarrassing, Rosie” he said, mockingly.
“Fuck’s sake” I said. I was looking away. I was playing awkwardly with my hands. On my lap, my phone was still playing a clip of two people fucking.
“So you like massive, pornstar cocks then?”
“I dunno. But is that what you’re noticing there? Bit suspicious” I said, trying to make fun of him back, trying to even things out a bit.
“What, are you calling me gay Rosie? That’s a bit crude. A bit homophobic, actually. Very regressive.”
“No, I’m saying you’re probably envious because you probably have an embarrassingly small cock” I said.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Nah, I have a massive one.”
“No you don’t.”
“Do you want me to prove it?”

I gulped. I actually gulped. He smiled.
“Because I will.”
“No you wouldn’t.”
“Yeah?”
“Too much of a coward.”
“Alright. I’m going to, is that alright?”
“Yeah, go on, I dare you.”
Why did I dare him?
He was just in plaid pyjama trousers anyway. He pulled them down a bit, and pulled his already hardening cock out.

“Oh fuck” I said quietly to myself.
“Not so small, is it?”
“No, I guess not.”
“Gets even bigger if you touch it.”
He was still saying this in a jokey, teasing way, as if for plausible deniability, as if it was all a joke.
“Okay. Okay. But I do actually have a boyfriend. So.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“God, lucky him with a girlfriend who watches porn. I bet you both have a great time.”
“Well. Um. We haven’t actually done anything yet.”
“Really?”
“No it just…we kiss, but it somehow never happens. He never makes it happen.”
“You probably need a bit of practise then?”
He was stroking his cock while saying this.
“God. God, you’re such a pervert, you know that?” I said, smiling at him. “Like, our mums planned me staying here for you to look after me, and this is what you’re up to?”
“Well. Do you want me to put it away?”
I looked at his dick. I looked at him.
“Fuck. Um.”
“You’re unsure.”
I laughed nervously, way too loudly, a bit weirdly.
He started playing with my hair.
“You’re the one who dared me to take it out.”
“That’s true. That is true. And I am impressed you did. Fair play.”
“I’ve got a dare for you.”

“Exactly” he said. He started stroking my hair.
“Okay. Well. Um. I mean…”
“Go on. I dare you.”

I bent down, and put my mouth around his cock.
“Oh fuck. Good girl. Good girl.”
I sucked him while wanking off the base of his cock, imitating what I’d seen in that clip. He stroked my hair and moaned.
I then lifted my head up and we kissed for the first time. We made out, him gripping my body hard into him, putting his hands under my shirt and running them up my back.
“So you were just teasing me because you had a crush on me?” I asked.
“Obviously” he said. We unbuttoned my pyjama shirt together (lol), and he started sucking my tits. I groaned with pleasure, and gripped his head tightly with my fingers — with my nails, even.
He pulled my trousers down, took his off, and pushed my back flat on the couch.
He balanced over me, and started slowly stroking my clit while I, equally slowly, wanked him off.
“I know this is a weird thing to say, but I can’t quite believe this is happening.”
“It’s alright to say that. I was kind of thinking all evening about fucking you, but felt I should resist because, you know…”
“I have a boyfriend?”
“Not that, more that you’re 18 and I was supposed to be responsible for you, and it does make me feel like a bit of a perv…”
I laughed.
“You’re such a slut though, aren’t you? Tossing me off when you’re in a relationship.”
I liked being called a slut. I shuddered, and starting wanking him off faster, or rougher even. He started stroking my clit as quickly.
“I’m being very, very bad. But you’re very hot.”
“You’re not too bad yourself…”
“You love being mean to me, don’t you?”
“Well, do you like it?”
“I do. I don’t know why. I shouldn’t, but I do.”
“Good. Don’t overthink it.”
“You wanna fuck me rough then? You wanna be really mean to me?”
“…should I go get a condom?”
“I don’t mind getting hold of the pill tomorrow if you don’t…I’d just really, really like your cock inside me right now.”

He pushed both my arms down, and slipped his cock in. We fucked, faster and faster, harder and harder, with him then gripping my wrists above my head, and pushing my body into the couch.
We kissed as deeply as we could, his tongue way back in my throat.
“I’m gonna cum, Rosie” he said quietly, his face close to mine.
“Could you come on me?” I whispered breathlessly.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“I said could you come all over me?” I said, smiling.
He obliged.
He came so much, which was what I was hoping would happen. Over my stomach, my tits, my face. He was grunting, moaning.
We were both exhausted.
We laughed.

“So that was nice.”
“Yeah. Yes. Um. Could you get me some tissues or something…?”
“Oh, sure.”
“You’ve stained my nice shirt…”
“Well that’s more your fault for being a slut, isn’t it.”
“Stop being mean. Seriously, that’s just not nice.”

He handed me some scrunched up tissues from a box on the living room table.
“I’m sorry. Sorry, I was still just trying to tease you. I like you, Rosie. I do.”
“That’s a bit obvious, yeah…”
“But I mean…I’ve been being mean to you, I’m not sure why. You’re very cute. You’re very smart. You’re very pretty. I liked getting to know you better. And I really liked having sex with you.”
“I liked having sex with you too” I said, and gave a big, lightbulb-bright smile, tilting my chin up playfully.
“Cute.”
“But yeah, this is a bit of a weird idea of looking after me…” I said, gesturing to the cum on my torso. I started cleaning myself up.
“Yeah. Yeah I am pretty bad. We probably shouldn’t tell too many people…”
“Dirty little secret.”
“Yeah. And you are an adult.”
“I am! Legally allowed to drink in a pub or star in a porn film.”
“Yeah. So I’m not, like, evil.”
“Nah. Just bad. By the way — this couch is a little uncomfortable. You wouldn’t mind if I slept in your bed, would you?”
“Nah, I wouldn’t mind that at all. But I can’t promise I wouldn’t try fuck you again.”
I grinned, and reached out my arms for him to help me up. We started making out, and I started stroking his cock again, which was already getting hard for me once more.
I had a train to catch the next morning, but we had a lot of time to have fun until then, if I could put up with a bit of sleep deprivation…

So this was some years back

Seven of us were on holiday in a quaint, cosy sort of town on the British coast, staying in a lovely holiday home together (beautiful wooden decor, wide spacious views to the glittering ocean, etc.)

One morning I proposed going on a hike along the cliffs and maybe for a swim in the ocean. People were hungover and lazy, and only my friend Michael and my friend Monica’s sister Jess wanted to come along.

Michael was tall, handsome and funny, with bouncy curly hair. We slept together time to time (it would just sort of happen…), but never really persued a relationship. Jess was still in uni and a bit on the short side, very cute, very sweet, very smart and quite innocent. She’d wear plaid skirts and linen shirts (that you could see her bra through when the sun hit…), with big round glasses — a very academic sort of look. (If you want to picture me I’m also on the smaller side, small tits lol, and dress like a arty hipster type I guess)

Despite her being a bit younger than me, I’d been getting close to her through the holiday (we both read a bunch of the same books — she read a lot — and had similar senses of humour).
I think Monica was happy her sister was getting along with pals (she’d been complaining about being bored and lonely that summer between uni terms), but I don’t think she’d have liked that I’d develop a sincere (if guilty…) crush on her, or what happened…

We had a bit of an epic (and very beautiful) hike through woods and up and along cliffs, and found ourselves in a secluded beach cove.

The waves rolled in gently, softly and rhythmically; the sand was softer and brighter than any you’d otherwise find in England, the sky was infinitely blue. It was lovely.

I proposed sunbathing and then going for a swim. Jess had a swimsuit under her clothes, and shyly got out into it, doing a mock grimace about it. I was just wearing my swimsuit bra as a top already, and only needed to take my jean shorts and trainers off. Michael awkwardly got changed inside a towel — “no peeking!”.

We laid out our towels and lay down for a bit chatting, discussing how much bravery would be required to get into the cold, cold British ocean, when Michael saw something quite outrageous.
An old(ish) British guy hiking past with us with hiking poles and a backpack who was otherwise naked.
“Oh my god” he said “is that even legal?”
“Well, look” said Jess, and she pointed to a sign. It was a registered nudist beach — it wasn’t just allowed, it was encouraged.
Fair enough: it was very secluded, and once he’d hiked past, pretty empty (aside from one woman in her 40s sunbathing naked on a towel far off).

“So, uh, when in Rome?” Asked Michael.
“When in Rome…?” Asked Jess.
“Like, when in Rome, do as the Romans do?”
“Oh. OH!”
She laughed, outraged.
I raised my eyebrows at Michael in pretend judgement, though I was smiling. Was he really trying to get our friend’s sister to take her kit off?
“Jesus. I don’t know!” She said “have you guys, like, got naked in public before?”
“I’m swam in a river naked with friends before, yeah” I said. “It was quite fun. Cheeky thing to do, you know? You feel more comfortable than you’d think once you’re actually undressed.”
“Not that I’m trying to convince you to get undressed!” I added “it’s just what occurred to me.”
“Oh, I love getting naked, any opportunity” said Michael.
“Oh I know enough about that, Michael. Fucking rugby lads…”

He laughed. Jess was smiling nervously, looking from me to Michael, trying to judge exactly how sincere we were.
“I don’t know” I said. “I could get undressed.”
“Mm. I have a boyfriend” said Jess (which gave away the otherwise implicit sexual edge of what was going on…) “do you think he’d mind…?”
“He would probably mind” said Michael “but you don’t have to tell him.”
She giggled.
“And don’t tell my sister either” she said.
“Oh I promise, I don’t want to get in trouble with her” he said.
“Oh god. I’m not actually saying I’m getting naked! I’m just saying. Hypothetically, like.”
“You don’t have to get naked, Jess” I said, wanting to be the mature voice of reason.
“But it’d be better if you did” said Michael.
“Michael!” I said, and I slapped his arm. He was laughing. Jess was laughing too. She did look comfortable with the situation…

“I mean, like…are you guys going to?” She asked.
“Do you want to get naked, Jess?” I asked. God, she was cute, I thought — gosh, I would really like to see her in just her knickers.
“Umm. I don’t know! If it’s something you’re doing. Like, it seems like something interesting and new to do. Like, it’s an experience.”
“It would be an experience” I said, laughing.
“Right. So. Uh…”
“Should I lead the way and get my cock out?” Joked Michael. Or half-joked.

I looked at them both. I decided to be brave (and Michael had already seen them anyway.)
I unclasped my bikini top from the back, and slid it off past my arms, then sat back and relaxed. Michael was staring at my tits.
Jess was staring at them too, and I could tell she was breathing harder now.
“You, um…” she said, doing a sort of waving gesture with both hands.
“Yes?”
“You have really nice boobs.”
“Oh! Thank you.”

She laughed nervously and stared off towards the ocean.
“Jess, there’s no pressure on you to do anything.”
She laughed, and then swallowed. And then she took her top off.
She was skinny with surprisingly big, round tits. They were beautiful (I really, really wanted to suck them).
“Alright, then, Michael” she said, surprisingly.
“Alright, alright, if you insist…”

He pulled down his trunks and his cock sprang out. He was rock hard.
“Oh!” Said Jess, I think involuntarily. She was smiling at his dick, her mouth open.
“Sorry, there’s two very attractive topless women next to me, it’s sort of unavoidable…”
“Right, well a cold swim should sort that out for you Mike.”
“But wouldn’t you get blue balls?” Asked Jess.
“Exactly.” Said Mike.
“Oh God, that’s just male propaganda, nothing dangerous happens if they don’t cum Jess I said.”
“No, no, she’s right, if I don’t cum I’m gonna be in agonising pain” said Michael.
“For fuck’s sake. Well, what do you think’s going to happen here, Mike?”
“Well, there’s three of us, and it’s a pretty secluded spot..”
Jess giggled nervously.
“Um. I think at this point my boyfriend might really be opposed to this…” said Jess.
“Not if he doesn’t find out” said Mike.
“You’re awful, Mike. You know she’s 19?”
“I mean, do you not fancy her as well? Look at her.”
Jess smiled at this.

I smiled too. I couldn’t help looking at her just there in the bottom of her swimsuit. Her freckled face, her big soft tits…
“Do you want to give me a hand, Jess?” He asked. He had a way of saying all this as if it was just ironic, so he could get away with it.
She pursed her lips.
“I really don’t think I’m allowed.”
“When you’re in uni, and especially on summer holiday, it doesn’t really count. As you said: you should be having experiences.”
She laughed, and looked down at the sand. She then looked at me with her eyebrows up, as if seeing what I thought.
I thought it would be bad to make her cheat, to fool around with our friend’s younger sister. And I thought it would be really, really hot.

I shuffled over next to Mike. Jess shuffled over too. I leaned down, and spat on his cock, and then rubbed the saliva in, getting him moist.
“Oh my god…” said Jess, quietly.
I then started slowly wanking him.
“Oh my god, this is so hot” she said. She put her hand over her crotch, maybe automatically. I remember really, really wanting her to touch herself.
I leaned over Mike and with my other hand held Jess’s chin, brought her close to me, and started kissing her. She was quick to start moaning, and she got her tongue deep in my mouth. She was breathing hard, and almost shaking — I could tell she was nervous, and that she hadn’t expected this whole situation at all. I kept stroking Mike’s cock.
She then broke off the kiss, and looked at Mike’s dick.
“Sorry, I’m not sure…”
Mike clucked in disappointment.
“Im just, like, not very experienced. Even with my boyfriend. I haven’t done much. So it is maybe good that, like, I’m at least seeing how to do this stuff…”
“Yeah?” I said, as I continued to wank Mike off, and he continued to moan.
“I mean, I don’t know…should I give it a go?”
She looked at me with very wide eyes.
I smiled. “If you like.”
I really didn’t expect what came next — she bent her head down, put her mouth over Mike’s cock, and started slowly sucking him off. He gasped.

God, it was sexy. I stroked her hair while she gave what I think might have been her first blowjob. Mike kept saying “oh fuck, oh fuck…”
I reached down and started fondling her tits, which she moaned in response to, and then stroked my hand further down her stomach, into her pants, and felt her soft, very wet cunt.
“Oh fuck” she said. She sat up. I rubbed her wetness over her clit and started playing with it fast with my middle finger. “Fuck, fuck…” she said.
“And you were telling me off, Rosie!” Said Mike, who was happily wanking at the sight off it.
Jess then put her hand in my knickers, making me gasp, and started playing with me too, both of us sat up in front of eachother.

After a while of this — and stroking, holding and playing with and kissing eachother, making eachother come— Mike said “fuck, I wish I’d brought condoms”.
“You can cum on me, if you’d like?” Said Jess, grinning slyly.
“I wouldn’t say no to that…” said Mike.
She lay back down on her towel, and Mike straddled over her. I reached round from behind, took his dick in my hand, and started wanking him off quickly. He was gasping.
“Yeah? You like this, perv? You like your friend’s innocent naked 19 year old sister?”
“Oh fuck — oh fuck” he said. He came, and came, and came. On her stomach. On her big tits. On her neck. On her face. In her hair. She was grinning widely.
I leaned down, sucked her tits a bit because I just had to, then made out with her, and licked up some of the cum from her face. We made out like that too.
“God. Okay, we keep this a secret, right?” She asked when we were done.
“Yep. You’re our secret little slut.”
She laughed.
“Alright. Should we all go for a swim then, get ourselves clean?”

So, I was living in a flat (apartment for Americans) in London about a year after I graduated from uni, I was 22 (f, lol), and I had a bit of a crush on my flatmate’s bf.

She was very type-A organised and dowdy, an Oxbridge grad, and could be quite snooty and annoying. He was good looking (obviously), athletic but not bulky, had a quite chiselled face, and naturally very cheeky/confident/flirty.
It was hard to tell, actually, if/when he was flirting with me or if this was just the way he was with everyone.

He would come into the house fresh from running a 10k and be there, topless in his shorts, smiling and drinking water and chatting away with me, encouraging me to go running too, that I should go for a jog with him sometime. “Well, if you’re going to have your top off the whole way”, I’d say, trying to be cheeky back. He’d wink and stroll off.
I would then feel quite anxious/guilty/embarrassed about even saying something like that. And horny, of course.
A bit of a confusing conflation of feelings, really.

There was one morning I woke up quite hungover from a night out with workmates (I was working at a bookshop at the time, nothing too wild), and I’d literally had a dream about him that I had to have a wank about when I woke up.
The dream was nothing too complicated — we had sex, I felt guilty and worried throughout about his gf finding out (I do see a therapist, lol). I was thinking at this time that despite fancying him and despite him seemingly flirting with me a bunch, I wouldn’t sleep with him because you really just shouldn’t fuck someone who’s in a relationship, it is a bit of a sacred thing.

When I was done I went into the kitchen to make myself some coffee and saw he was there, again back from an early morning run, again topless in shorts, white socks and running shoes.
I think he did this deliberately. I was in my pyjama shorts and a white t-shirt without a bra. I noticed him peeking at my tits, and then pretending not to (psa: we can always tell, you know. Although of course sometimes, some of us like it, as long as it’s the right guy).

“Can I make you coffee?” I asked.
“That’d be great, thanks.”
“Black? With milk?”
“Splash of milk, that’s perfect.”
I filled the kettle and turned it on, then hummed and tapped my finger nails on the counter while I waited. I’m quite awkward person lol. He just smiled. I really, really liked his smile. It could put you at ease.
“Good run?” I asked.
“Great, thanks, yeah. 10k in 50 mins” he said, and pulled out his phone to show me on this GPS running app.
“Impressive!” I said. I didn’t really know: I guess running continuously for 50 minutes alone was impressive enough. And he had a very nice body: six pack, nicely toned arms. He had a face I would describe as pretty, which is what I like in men.

“I should really exercise, shouldn’t I. It’d probably make me less anxious.”
“Oh yeah, everyone should. I could give you a workout, if you like?”
“Yeah?” I said, and I literally involuntarily gulped. I was very conspicuous.
“Yeah, show you some yoga positions and that. It’s very calming, really helps me unwind after a run.”
“That’d be great, we should definitely do that sometime. Where’s Erin by the way [his gf, my flatmate, my sort of friend sort of enemy]?”
“Oh, she’s out for the day — having tea and cake with some uni friends, all girls, I’m not invited. I should have a shower and get changed and head on back to my actual home soon, but I always need a bit of a wind-down after a run before I can brave the fucking London Underground network.”
“Ah” I said. “Just me to keep you entertained then.”
“Well, I’m sure we can find something fun to do?”

Someone a bit more socially adept than me would have been able to think of something sexy to say to that. Instead I asked if he wanted to watch Mad Men with me.

So we wound up lying on my bed on a hot day, him in his shorts, me in my shorts and a shirt with my big round frame glasses on (if you want to picture me, I’m a smallish skinny brunette arty hipster sort I suppose, lol, with small tits), and we were half-watching a show on my laptop. And I was still adamantly thinking that I wasn’t going to fuck him, that I wasn’t trying to fuck him, and yet I’d engineered us into this situation.
I suppose all the psychoanalysis I read comes in handy here — we’ve all got conflicting selves and desires, and our deeper repressed intentions do tend to give themselves away.

Mad Men got a bit sexy — Don was flirting with an unbelievably pretty teacher. Me and Tom (let’s call him, lol) agreed that we both wanted to fuck her.
“So you’re a lesbian, then?”
“Bi.”
“Are you one of those girls who says she’s bi to be edgy but then never actually fucks another woman, or one of those fun threesome girls?”
“Oh Jesus.”
He laughed. I laughed too, despite myself. I flipped on my stomach to stare at him. He was staring at me. He had a sly, suggestive grin — but then he always did.
“Is that what you like, fun threesome girls?”
“Doesn’t everyone?”
“Not everyone’s into group sex, I think.”
“Are you?”
I paused for a moment. I had a bit of a tight, awkward smile. I was staring off at the wall. He was still staring straight at me, confidently, as if holding me with his eyes.
“I am. And I’ve done it, actually.”
“Have you? Bit of a dark horse, Rosie.”
“Yes, as a matter of fact.”
“Tell me about it.”
“What, so you can wank off thinking about it?”
He laughed.
“Yeah, exactly.”
“God.” I said, and shook my head. I don’t know why I was acting like I was appalled by him: I was actually turned on. I guess it was that inner-conflict again.
“Me and you and Erin. Should we do that sometime?”
I performatively sighed in exasperation.
“I don’t think that’s Erin’s type at all, to tell the truth.”
“It is interesting though, isn’t it, what turns people on. I think it’s an under-explored part of human psychology.”
“Mmm” I said, sincerely, and stared back at him.
“Like, what turns you on?”
“Ah.”
“No, seriously, it’s interesting. Do you watch porn?”
“Well. Yes.” I said, awkwardly.
“And do you ever find yourself surprised by what actually turns you on?”
“I do sometimes, yes.”
“So give me some examples.”
I grinned involuntarily and buried my face in the sheets. I don’t know why I felt so awkward.
“Ok” I said, raising my head back up. “I’ll say a few things. Because it’s interesting.”
“Out of cold, objective interest. Yes.”
“Out of sheer scientific curiosity.”
“Precisely. We’re just trying to uncover the mystery of human sexuality.”
“Ok. Certain words around sex. Hard, monosyllable Anglo-Saxonic words like cunt and slut rather than pussy, which I hate.”
“You like being called a slut?”
I shivered and opened my mouth involuntarily.
“I’ll take that as a yes” he said, and smirked.
“And, like, when a guy arrogantly takes his cock out in porn. And the girl’s all shocked before she starts sucking him off or whatever.”
“Really? Oh my god.”
“Yes! As long as there’s, like, consent. I don’t like non-consensual sort of stuff at all.”
“Right. No rough stuff?”
“Well. I like spanking.”
I knew — I knew — we really shouldn’t be having this conversation. He’d been dating Erin for two years.
“Do you?”
“Yes. Lock me up and throw away the key.”
“Or maybe I should spank you for it.”
I laughed.
“Yeah, maybe you should.”
And then he did.

“Ow!” I said. “Oh my god!”
“Did you like that?”
I was smiling, despite trying my hardest not to smile. He smacked me again.
“Ok, that was quite nice. But we really shouldn’t be doing this.”
“It is a bit bad.”
“Erin wouldn’t be very happy if she knew you smacked my ass.”
“No. So we shouldn’t tell her.”
“Nah.”
“We’ll keep it a secret from her.”
“Exactly.”
He smacked me again, quite hard. I gasped.
“God” I said.
“Why don’t you be a good slut and pull down your shorts so I can smack you properly?” I could see through his shorts how hard he’d gotten. It was ridiculous.

I did as I was told, pulling my shorts and knickers down around my knees, my stomach still on the bed. He smacked me again.

“God, you’re terrible, aren’t you?”
“You’re pretty bad yourself.”
“God, we really, really shouldn’t be doing this” I said, and I tugged my shorts back up.
“Oh, it’s just that you said you like being smacked.”
“And I do…”
“And, if I recall correctly, you like it when guys whip their cocks out?”
I laughed a bit bashfully, and then found myself automatically looking at his crotch, which he of course noticed.
“So do you want me to?”
“Look. I would find it hot, yes. I would like it. But we really shouldn’t. I mean, have you cheated on Erin before? Is this just something you do? Because it’s pretty cruel if that’s the case.”
“It’s not, actually. I promise you: I’ve been on the cusp of cheating with her before, at parties and stuff, but I’ve always resisted. I wasn’t trying to — you know — get us in this situation. But you’re just very cute. So.”
“Thank you.”
“And you think we shouldn’t.”
“We might regret it. We might feel bad.”
“If I did this?” He asked. And he pulled down his shorts a bit, and his hard cock sprung out.
“Oh my god” I said, laughing. I couldn’t help but look at it.
“Sorry, couldn’t resist.”
“That is a nice cock. That is a nice cock, to be fair.”
“So…?”
I was grinning and covering my eyes with my hand. I looked again and giggled.
“You’re awful. You’re actually awful.”
“Yeah?”

I licked my palm a few times to get it wet, then started rubbing my hand around the head of his cock.
“Oh fuck” he whispered.
I then started wanking him off.
“Oh fuck. Fuck, you’re good at this.”
“Yeah?”
“Jesus Christ…”
“I’ve seen you hanging round the house without your top on, or perving down my dress. You are a bit of a perv, aren’t you?”
“Yes, God—“
“Trying to fuck your girlfriend’s younger flatmate. Awful.”
“Yes…”
I was then wanking him off quite quickly.
“Can you show me your tits?” He asked.
I sat up a bit and pulled my top up enough to show them.
“These tits?”
“God, fuck they’re nice—”
“Yeah? You wanna come all over them?”
“God yes…God, you’re so fucking hot…” (I love when men become incoherent from horniness lol).

And then we heard the front door open.
“Hey Rosie. Tom are you still here?” said Erin coming in.
“Oh fuck” he said. I was still wanking him off and maintaining direct eye contact. I was trying to look judgemental. I knew he found it hot.
“Hey Erin!” I said.
“God I’m going to come — baby, I’m gonna come” he whispered.
“Yeah? You gonna come for me?” I said quietly.
I put my face near his cock and started going faster. And faster. And then he came. He came a lot. I could feel his cock pulsing in my tight grip. It splashed on my face, on my neck, on my chest, on my tits a bit, and in my hair.
I smiled at him, rubbed a bit off my tits, and licked it off my finger. He clearly loved this. Perv.
We could hear Erin walk into the kitchen. She turned the kettle on.
“Could you make me a tea?” I asked.
“Sure!” She said. I smiled at Tom, who was smiling at me, and looking a bit worried. I got up and got some tissues and cleaned myself off in the mirror. I pulled my top back down, and found a large man’s shirt in my drawer to throw to Tom. He put it on.
“Tom’s just in here” I said “we’re watching Mad Men, he just got back from a run”
“Oh!” She shouted. “Hi Tom!”
“Hi babe!” He shouted.
“Babe?” she said, questioningly. His head must have been all over the place.
“Hey Erin” he said, normally. I’d just cleaned the last of his cum out my hair with a wet wipe when she came in, entirely happy and unsuspecting (I think.)

[I’ve got more to say on this whole saga, but I think I’ll pause for now lol]