Long winding boring health complications from hyperspermia
Anybody up for an overly long, sort of pathetic sob story ending with a plea for advice? I'm here to please!
I was caught with elevated PSA in my latter half 40’s and this opened a Pandora’s box of sex related shite. I’m 53 now. It all started with the familiar problem of peeing like a geezer. I could say my prostate had grown on me, but I hate the little bugger more than my cecum.
The medical professionals all took care to speak softly and not to step on my fallen manhood with their anatomical sandals. This had me slightly suspicious. I reacted with a google frenzy, of course. Turns out my country, Sweden, mostly use Rezum (non-invasive surgery) and Finasteride (5-alpha-reductase inhibitor) to treat BPH. And yes, both options brought with them some troubling stats surrounding sexual performance. Then again, I was more worried about peeing and cancer.
My urologist however turned out to be more of a Dr. House – kind of funny and rather blunt. He laid out the battle plans by saying surgery or not, it would be wise to start with Finasteride to rein in the prostate a bit. After half a year or so the verdict should be in. So imagine my surprise when my symptoms got better within an hour after taking my first pill.
Well this is funny, I thought, because my google-fu had done nothing to make me believe that was in the cards. Placebo doesn't really work like that. Weeks went by and then it hit me. My symptoms included CPPS and a numb feeling overall. So what about the inflammation? Some sources spoke of Finasteride reducing inflammation. It also seemed to help with my “blue balls”. Or, more accurately, what I thought was “blue balls”.
I suppose most of us walk through life kind of assuming most folks experience things as we ourselves do. Googling blue balls I now know it describes what can happen if a man gets nudged close to ejaculation but never finishes – teased, one might say – and then a while after get blue ball cramps. Me, I took it for granted that if a man simply doesn’t ejaculate for a period, he gets blue balls. In my case max two days when I was 18 and up to five nowadays, ending with severe discomfort that just will not give. Just so you know where I’m coming from: my balls become so sensitive I can’t bend to tie my shoes without pain; the feeling of severe pressure is such that my already sub-par concentration flunk; sleep is near impossible; the whole CPPS flares up; life becomes miserable.
That’s how I found out I suffer from hyperspermia. I did get comments from sex partners but thought nothing of it except to offer some lame apology for the exaggerated mess. While I have no known issues with fertility, hyperspermia is still related to CPPS. As I was to find out, the combo can become distressing.
After awkwardly telling Dr. House about my offensive loads of cum, he remained composed and ordered me to take matters into my own hand(s). Yes, he actually said I was to masturbate at least thrice weekly. And just to be clear, since I started Finasteride, my loads are more or less normal, so this is not even a humble brag, just an old guy whining. Would have been funnier had he written a conscription but it’s silly enough as is. Silly and depressing.
My numbness and I guess my boring personality mean I struggle to masturbate. In fact, I always sucked at it (so to speak, I’m not flexible enough to actually) and through my adult life always thought of it as a necessary drudge, like doing the dishes, except worse. These last years I can very seldom finish without a sex toy and even then only if the stars are aligned. Porn does nothing much for me, as it’s just not my cup of tea. The whole masturbation task takes forever and I’d rather go to the gym, work or clean the flat.
We live in a small apartment and any me-time I get, I try to get it done. Sometimes it works. If I have to wait until the kids are asleep so I’m undisturbed fiddling with my set of lubricants and what not, at least half the time I fail to finish because the stars have moved along for that day and I’m too knackered. That begets the hyperspermia type blue balls. Which in turn makes masturbation that much harder due to increased inflammation and feeling bloated to the point of explosion. It’s a proper circle jerk of doom.
More than one time I’ve tried to instead ride things out. But there’s no light at the end of the tunnel of abstinence. It just keeps hurting. Sleep is almost impossible.
What about my missus, you might ask? Well, with a woman, all is fine. If she feels right, smells right, all that. I’d say we have a good relationship, my partner and I. We do have sex and when we do, we both enjoy it (or so she says). But honestly, how many women in their forties want to have sex 2-3 times a week 10 years into a relationship - with kids no less? I very much strive not to make my problem her problem. While being completely honest about my condition, I stress I have absolutely no expectations from her. The worst that happened is I’ve asked for a mercy fcuk when I was stuck and just had to sleep already, and then I’ve ended up indebted for days. She says it’s no biggie but I feel like I would if I asked a friend for money. She also says she’d be less bothered with me finding a discrete lover than me messing with her sleep like that. Well that would be something. Me administering that without any wrinkles. Yeah, so I truly feel like a caveman. Not in a good way sexy caveman. A hapless caveman stuck with his own miserable dick in his hand but so unskilled with such advanced tools that a happy resolution escapes him.
When I google my symptoms there are so, so many possible explanations and I know all too well how easy it is to latch on to any one of them. Wanting to improve health has demanded I be my own doctor, trying out various life style changes in a disciplined way to slowly tease out what’s what.
I already eat very healthy, I lift weights, run and cycle, I don’t smoke, seldom drink, sleep 7-8h. Honestly, I’m fit that way and look young. But my outwardly health hides auto-immune complications that drive my ADHD like a mare.
I often have a bit of brain fog and tiredness. Also proctalgia fugax (anus cramps), shitty joints, food insensitivities (milk protein gives me bad IBS and brain fog) and a list of other nuisances linked to auto-immunity. A couple of years ago, before I started testing everything and trying out all my foods and all, I went through a medical investigation to rule out MS (which runs in my family). Sugar spikes and drinking coffee like an office pro tend to aggravate everything. I live like a monk here, prayers remaining unheard.
I supplement fish oil + vit D wintertime, sometimes add some magnesium and B9 & B12 since I have bad uptake and drop unnervingly low even if I eat eggs.
When I get worsening CPPS I do some stretches and stuff, but what works best for the moment is to pop an NSAID. Should I start eating quercetin or something?
If you’ve read through all of this, I sincerely thank you. Does any of it sound familiar? What might I try next? I feel stuck. Would be happy to try just about anything.