u/debauchme

My swollen, achy clit will always attract the lion's share of the attention. Always begging for another round of edging as without it there'd be no edge to ride. And while I am not someone who can cum from penetration I used to at least slide something inside the slit of me to squeeze around. A little emptied hand sanitizer bottle that used to feel so good when I wasn't yet as stretched inside. Then toys, dildos or my pussy plugs that are formed to the shape of a cunt.

But more and more, I leave my cunt empty.

I think anyone with a slit can relate to the way that lust accumulates inside. Penetration can't get me off. It can be uncomfortable, I often need extra lube as I don't produce enough of my own. But when riled up enough the emptiness inside my pussy is unbearable. There is a line where that biological need to breed blurs across personal preference and to be filled makes your whole body light on fire with delight. I love grinding with a toy inside while I edge my clit raw.

Lately, almost always I opt for the anal plug instead of even pleasuring my pussy. Using it to dispense juices as often as it will leak instead of playing inside that hole. I have these dissonant feelings about anal I can't quite rectify. It's not always pleasurable. Sometimes my system really just doesn't cooperate, I don't feel well or the discomfort is too intense. I'd not want to wander out the house with an anal plug but I am sneaking wearing it more casually. It always makes my pulse race. Sometimes having the plug in can feel euphoric. Especially while edging just grinding on that bulb in my poor little asshole. Sometimes it aches so much going in but feels soothing once its settled in place. Mental submission carries much of the acceptance.

I'm trying to find more suitable plugs. The jelly ones that made me switch my opinion from hating anal toward enjoying it I realize are not good, non porous long term materials. But the silicone plug I purchased is a bit too rigid to wear except laying down. I find I keep sneaking in my old plugs instead. They form to my body in a way that feels I should be lightly inconvenienced by. Tonight I realized I can't remember recently the last time I fucked my pussy with an insertable but by butthole has been burdened multiple times by fat plugs in the last week. Even without realizing I am slipping further into a beta role.