Here's my story

This is a true story, not fictional in any way unlike a lot of the posts I find on here, which honestly most of the time are transparent about the fictional nature of their story so no shade intended just wanted to make that clarification...

When I was, lets just say younger, I was always close with my cousins, one female and one male. Especially with one of them (the female) as we were only 6 months apart in age. I would spend weeks at their house frequently throughout the year. Everything was normal and innocent, but as time went on we ended up doing some stuff that wasn't so innocent. We weren't old at all and didn't know what the hell we were doing, but we started getting curious. I was quite sexually interested earlier on in my life, having parents that were uninterested in what I got up to, leaving me to explore things I shouldn't be. I was always watching 18+ rated movies that would have sex in, and even came across old porn magazines once in an old garage in a house we were renting. So, after spending so much time with my cousin, we started getting curious about how our 'parts' were different. Sometimes we would touch each other a little bit and I remember once being really hard and she just pulled down my underwear and saw it and just quickly touched/flicked it to make it bounce and laughed. This progressed in many ways including with her female friends, but never to the full thing. I moved away to South America when I was 9 and we lost contact. I found out while living abroad that we actually weren't cousins at all, but were siblings. I was pretty shocked and also stressed because as cousins it felt okay, but as siblings it felt weird. I have other siblings and have never had this dynamic with them and have had zero interest. In fact it makes me feel sick to think of them like that (no judgement here for others, it's just the truth). It was only with this one 'cousin', and now that had changed. Anyway, I was living far away, so I just put it to the back of my mind and forgot about it. I won't explain *why* we were brought up as cousins until randomly finding out that we were siblings. But, rest assured, it is the truth.

Fast forward a few years, to when I was around 16, my parents both decided they missed the US and wanted to go back. We moved back to the same town and it wasn't long until I was in contact again with my 'new' sister. I wondered if she remembered what I remembered, but we never ever spoke about it. It was a bit awkward at first but became normal and we got really close again. I kinda still had some fantasies but would never have the courage to bring it up, but some things would happen from time to time. For instance, she would rest her leg on my leg and the bottom of her leg would be stretched across until it was on my soft penis. This sensation would then cause my penis to slowly get bigger and then (obviously) harder underneath my tracksuit bottoms (gray colored). She wouldn't move her leg at all, she just left it there. She must have felt it? To this day I don't know if she felt it, but remember, this is 100% a true story. I know a lot of people post fantasy stories on here but I'm actually telling this story for the first every time. So anyway, I was trying not to focus on it because I was embarrassed, but then my penis would naturally and involuntarily tense, causing it to press up against her leg then go back down again. A minute or so later, same thing, continuously. She eventually moved her leg off and I would cross my legs. She wouldn't even try to look.#

Now, crazily enough, when I stayed we would actually share a bed. This sounds unbelievable, I completely get it, but it's just the plain old truth. We didn't actually decide to do that, but we would watch movies or whatever until we fell asleep, simple as that. After a while of sharing a bed, I have no idea which one of us suggested it first, but we would offer to do back massages for each other for like 90 seconds at a time. One day, while I was doing one, she undid her bra because I was complaining about it getting in the way (it genuinely was but I was curious also as to whether or not she would take it off. Well, she did, and I was immediately getting hard again. When we were finished, I can't remember now the reason, but she decided to get up to go the bathroom maybe to like wash off something?? But as she got up, she covered her genuinely (i say genuinely because I am not adding random details to make it 'sound like' a good story, the point is they were big and this is an important detail) huge boobs well the nipples only, with her hands which were small. This sent all my blood straight to my penis and I was extremely horny. Around her small hands covering her nipples I could view her whole boobs, underboob, sideboob, all of it. It left very little to the imagination. I had to wash my hands and I had so much testosterone running through my body that I got off the bed and went to the bathroom behind her, and I was only wearing shorts. Even with underwear on you could clearly spot my erection, and I stood there behind her, with her leaning over the sink with her big boobs now drooping (we were only 15 so not saggy obviously but gravity was just doing its thing) and she turned her head and was immediately looking downward towards my erection, not my eyes first then downward, but straight to between my legs. I had no idea what to do so I just sort of crossed my legs to kinda hide it and said something random like 'hurry up I need to use the toilet next' and she didn't address it at all but just looked away and continued in the sink for a minute or so and then squeezed past me to get back to the bedroom whilst, obviously, covering her nipples. I went in the bathroom and masturbated until I came. I noticed my underwear was drenched with precum, it took about 10 seconds to nut. When I went in she had her bra and shirt back on and I didn't mention it.

Anyway, there is a LOT more to this story... we are both adults now with our own homes and lives etc., she's moved to another state, no kids of our own yet, but this continued until we were about 21. I'm curious, how many of you have had similar situations? I feel like it's through no fault of my own that I have these fantasies, that it just happened to me and now I'm stuck with them. It does make me feel dirty sometimes. I wonder how much she thinks of it...

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read all this. Would very much like to hear if other people shared a similar experience. Particularly curious to hear it from a females perspective. Sometimes I feel bad, like I went too far or something (obviously I haven't shared the full story here). I'd feel a lot more comfortable if I knew my siblings thoughts, if I knew it was her who was intentionally pushing things, because I don't feel victimised at all. But my conscience eats at me questioning if she does feel victimised in any way. Anyway, thanks again for your time.