u/idek_214

i (18F) posted almost 2 weeks ago about my interest in this (not sexually, well ‘yet’ ig) go read that for more background info! anyway, i’m finally home alone for the weekend and just tried to go in my underwear. i felt the urge after dinner but waited bc i wanted to play minecraft lol. i took my makeup off and went to the bathroom like usual. i peed but felt like i needed to poop so i put my underwear back on. i started to push and felt it slowly come out. i was still trying to go though. after like 30 minutes 🫠 i decided it was time to actually get ready for bed. when i took my underwear off, it was only streaks. i then pushed and the poop went into the toilet. ik your body “stops” you from shitting yourself but i felt it through my underwear when sitting on the toilet. it was only when i took my underwear off that it stayed in my butt ig… 😭😭😭 my question is how does it actually come out? i was nervous doing it and felt guilty since i was trying so hard for it to happen. does it only really come out if you really need to go? i still feel like i need to poop but i also get quite constipated really easily so i don’t want to keep pushing as that’ll make it worse.

i’m 18F and have been lurking on this sub for maybe a month or so. i’m very embarrassed that i’m even posting here despite no one knowing who i am since i made a completely new reddit acct for this but here i am.

ig for some background, im 18 and ig i would say im kinda delayed for sexual content/senses. ive never been horny before, well idk what it feels like so to my knowledge i haven’t, ive never had sex nor had a bf, let alone a first kiss. i’ve never watched porn or masterbated so to come here for this is kinda scary to me. i feel disgusted and out of place for coming on this sub.

i told myself i would take this to my grave but since i was maybe 8? or so, i would stuff toilet paper in my pants to make it feel like i pooped myself. it was very odd and i was so embarrassed but i liked the feeling, not sexually, it just felt nice? i guess? i’ve been begrudgingly doing it on and off since then.

ig im just confused on if this is a sexual fetish/kink of some sort or if im just weird? my parents are moving my older sister back to college in a couple weeks, so i’ll be home alone, and ive been thinking of maybe exploring this more, either that be coming on here more, doing more research, or possibly even trying to poop myself? just to see? i’ve always been curious on the actual feeling (clearly since i used to shove toilet paper in my pants).

since i’ll be home alone, i was wondering how to hide the “evidence” for when my parents come home. i also make slime and a way to make a certain type of slime is to use the inside of a baby diaper. i was maybe thinking of buying some at the dollar store to both use in slime and possibly to actually use… idk i just feel so stupid and guilty for doing or even thinking of this. if i use a diaper i would just hide it in a garbage bag and throw it away but idk a part of me just thinks they would “somehow” know even tho they wouldn’t.

this is super long but really any type of advice or something would be great 😭 again, i’m not a sexual person and im actually terrified of sex, porn, masterbation, etc. i really don’t know if this is the sexual arousal type or if i’m just curious? someone help me understand this ugh