u/koreanintexas

The thing i get asked the most is, 'what is your ideal spanking'. To which an open ended question like this is difficult for me to answer. Its still hard for me to talk candidly about spanking and describing my own punishment is nightmarish.

Deep breath, here we go, first off, I think two people come together to form a unique dynamic that would be unlike anyone else’s. A big part of the thrill for me is to be submissive and out of control, which is something that gets better developed over time. My ideal spanking is a punishment that feels authoritative and serious and teetering on cnc. Part of that is me shifting some of the burden onto the spanker so I can let go of outside pressures. I want to be spanked how you see fit (within the parameters of the relationship), I do not want to be in charge.

My attempt to describe my ideal spanking:

I'd be told ahead of time that I would be spanked or that we're having a discussion (that i think could lead to a spanking). The anticipation in itself is one of my favorite parts. Even a threat gets me going so much
I might try to convince you why it shouldn't happen. There would be fear of the unknown. It's not a game, I don't want to win and im not a brat but i do want some force. Like you care so much. Come at me, shame me, scold me. Put me in my place. This is as intense as the physical element for me. I want my mind to be dominated. I am uncomfortable being in trouble and the spanking part would almost be relieving.
I am fairly self-assured of myself, but i have some major weaknesses that can be exploited, to get me to the darkness i crave. To give someone this kind of power is difficult, but being strict and stern goes a long way to alleviate it. its quite mental but i enjoy all the physicalness, being manhandled, smacked moved to position, all the things that arent so by the book. It makes me feel alive and excited and that i belong. I want to spanked for things that the spanker cares about because it feels more affectionate to me. I appreciate someone not being afraid to go at me, and I respond by doing as I’m told because it makes me feel cared for.

Make me wait on the bed or in the corner to think about what I did and what is gonna happen, which would trigger tons of anxiety and nervousness. I would be ashamed that I want and need to be punished like a naughty little girl. The part right before the spanking starts its lightning in a bottle
Once i have accepted that it is happening i will be as compliant as i can. I will be turned on being talked down to and regressed (especially if you use spanking lingo) and those feelings along with adrenaline will help me get through the spanking. I am not a masochist, but the pain gets me to the place i want, which is really hard to get to as a complete adult.
Spanking starts, feeling this helpless is unfamiliar but letting myself have this escape feels very good. im thinking it would be over the knee spanked by hand i want it to feel personal and domestic, not judicial, panties taken down at some point which will make me feel defenseless, humiliated and make it real. Then some kind of implement to make me a very sorry girl. I want to come away feeling I got a good hard spanking, learned my lesson and got through something.

Kinda fuzzy on the ending, i fantasize about tears but thats not really the goal. I would like to feel like i pleased you by taking my spanking obediently and to be told i was good girl if warranted. I think thanking the person doing the spanking is important, they are taking on a lot of responsibility and have complex feelings too.

A spanking relieves some of my biggest fears and insecurities. it's like someone telling you are worth redeeming and being better, even at your worst most-embarrassing, exposed vulnerable self. I am really not sure the connection of how it is erotic, but discipline spankings are what i think about.
Even in the spanking world this might not speak to you, in that its a mix of being into spanking but also being me.