u/luckymoney-comics

i feel like my body has changed so much because of the abuse

i can't feel pleasure unless i'm being treated like an object ;( i even have sex while i'm having anxiety attacks or when i have a fever, it just feels so good to be in pain!!

and being choked is the best!! when i feel like i can't breathe it's like a reminder that i don't own my life! i can't make my own choices, my body doesn't belong to me, I can't own anything! I belong to whoever's fucking me, they decide what to do with my body and how far they want to go < 3

i think the reason why i enjoyed getting raped last time was because i've always had a thing for people who hate me ???

i've always been a lesbian, but when i was single i'd flirt with men who were in a relationship just so their girlfriends would start to hate me and talk shit about me

i'd rub my pussy against my pillows reading texts about how much of a slut i am, and one time this girl even told me to kill myself haha it was so hot!!!

it sucks that i get this urge of picking fights with my girlfriend just so i can see her getting angry at me :((

also maybe that's why i think incels are kind of hot ?? like they hate me just because i'm a woman ??? yumm

i have no idea why i became like this, i should go to therapy again instead of getting off on receiving rape threats buttttt it feels so good !!!!! i can't wait to stop ovulating so i can be a normal person again ;(

i love her like crazy and i'll never tell her about this but last night a guy friend reached out to me since he saw on ig that i was in his town, we met up, smoked some of his weed and we fucked in his car :'(

i knew what i was getting into

this guy and i stopped being friends because he confessed to me that when i told him i was raped (a few years ago) he got a boner ?

apparently he's into cnc and i kind of judged him for it but when i started being sexually active (with my girlfriend) i found myself asking for abuse :(

my girlfriend chokes me, cuts me, hits me and everything but feeling her hands abusing me and comparing them to my guy friend's hands was eye opening ;( he's so strong and I seriously felt like i was going to die when he fucked my face hard until i was crying and begging him to stop

the worst part is, it felt like he really hated me and i loved it. he was abusing my pussy with his thick cock while i was moaning and crying like a bitch and he was saying stuff like "i knew you wanted to be raped again" and laughing at me and i just took it

i feel so weird and little ?? but i'm still horny so the guilt of cheating hasn't kicked in yet i guess ;(

and this morning my girlfriend asked me to send her nudes and she has no idea i was fucked by a man last night :(( i attached the pics in this post, i think you can't tell whether i was fucked or not right?? i'm paranoid