Weird relationship with sissy-ism, need advice
I got introduced to porn at a young age, and it didnt take long for me to find sissy porn. Since then i have had a weird relationship with it. Admittedly it is pretty triggering, i was mostly drawn to captions and hypno, they usually have a clip or clips of straight porn or very feminine trans women in the back, either its a gif or a whole vid edited like a pmv, i very much enjoy the humiliating, degrading aspect of it the captions provide, but the taboo is my favorite thing.
However i dont know why i actually enjoy it. In real life im very different to what turns me on in those videos. I dont really want to be the girl, im not into men, and my whole live i loved, and always wanted to be on the masculine side, i already am tall but always wanted more, wanted broader shoulders, a more masc face structure, and in relationships with women i always loved being very very dominant.
But for some reason, every now and then the sissy hypno vids and the humiliating captions are almost irresistible, i have felt curiosity over some things ive seen, like crossdressing, chastity cages, but i never wanted to act on them. Has anyone had similar experiences? It does make me kinda feel weird about myself, i never heard of anyone having such a kink yet being so unsure about it and not feeling like they want to act on it. I dont know if the way i feel is normal