u/pelykulax_

Welcome! Gather ‘round everyb-

*turns around*

There’s… no one. Did I forget to put out the ad?! Oh well, someone ought to show up at some point. Right…? *nervous chuckles*

Now where was I… oh right! Welcome one and all to the first iteration of Doc‘s Darting Deviations! Today‘s Special - Trinkets or Tits! Sponsored by Astroglide™️

The concept is simple - on the counter are boxes - waaaaaiittt fooor iiiit… poof!
I said… poof!
POOF GODDAMIT!

*4 boxes and a stand pop out of nowhere, which absolutely no one sees happening*

…4 boxes, to be precise! Worry not, that was no magic, just an old trick of the mind.
Each box has a… prize of sorts. Your task is simple - open boxes until you’ve found a piece of knowledge to share with the class.

If you get it right, comment about your findings, your favourite trinket, or your preferred gravity-defying spheres of soft-fleshed chest mystery.

If you don’t… try again! And… you’ll know it when you get it wrong.
Remember, the misses are cumulative. For you uneducated swines - you know who you are! - that means that every wrong box you open has a task that must be fulfilled… before or after you’re done opening is none of my business.

As this is the first round, we’ve made it an even 50/50.
Who’s we, you ask? Well, me and my friends… from the other side.

*ominous voices coming from the skulls in the shelves laugh and echo, as they grin at you*

What are you waiting for? Hop hop! Hand in the box… it’s time to play! And don’t forget to use lube!

Box 1. > Lube up! Follow her rhythm. If you get to the edge, ride it until the end of the clip.!<
Box 2. > This is filler text just so that people don’t try and go for a specific spoiler size.!<
Box 3. > Lube up! Stroke at a fast pace. Finish without edging. Otherwise, drink some water, and repeat.!<
Box 4. > This is filler text just so that people don’t try and go for a specific spoiler size.!<

>!Disclaimer: Doc is not a medic! Nor a hunter - though don’t test your luck on that one. If he ever gives you a concoction, it’s a 95% chance of lube. Maybe with side effects. We don’t talk about the other 5%.!<

>!Links are from Reddit and Wikipedia. Pictures generated with ChatGPT.!<

In the foggy, dark woods, you see a masked Man, an ominous apothecary and… wait- is that… jazz? You don’t see a radio… or any technology for the matter…? How did you even get here in the first place… and did that skull just smirk at you?

Welcome one and all!

What brings you to this corner of the woods, down here in New Orleans…? Not important, come closer, come! I have wares… oh do I have wares!

Potions, bobbles, bits and crafts! If you can think it, I can make it happen…! If what you wish for is knowledge, we‘ve got it aplenty as well!

Though beware, all benefit comes with a cost - one that even I can’t fathom.

Feel free to browse and question - just mind the skulls, they can be quite… temperamental.

Otherwise, don’t mind ol‘ Doc - we‘ll be seeing us around soon enough…!

>!Disclaimer: do not take the name for granted, I am NOT a medic. Though my bobbles, potions and magic crafts may have positive, calming or even enlightening effects, those who come to seek help may end up finding only despair.!<

Image generated with ChatGPT