I've been having thoughts about the transgender vs. transracial debacle again. I know, I know, it's been discussed to death and has been so heavily weaponized by the right wing that I feel bad for even mentioning it. But truth be told, I never actually made peace with this comparison. I understand why racism is bad. I understand why trans people are valid. But it still feels somewhat... inconsistent in my mind.
The big argument against the validity of people who believe they belong in a different race/culture/ethnicity than the one they were born into, is that they have no lived experience of their "target" culture - and in particular, no experience or true understanding of interracial dynamics. That's why we talk about cultural appropriation; it's only natural when cultures with a history of oppression, like Black Americans, feel offended when a white person regurgitates the aesthetics (like hairstyles, for example) they have been oppressed for, without all the baggage they have to deal with. It's only natural that we as a society validate that indignation and strive to right the wrongs.
But... can't the same thing be said about womanhood? Women also have a history of being oppressed by men within the patriarchy. And yet here we are, doing our best to look, act and feel like women. There are some women who feel disgusted, offended and threatened by that, but we don't validate that, we call them TERFs and transphobic and all that stuff. And while "actual" trans women, especially those who undergo medical transition, can be said to have irreversibly dropped their former male privileges, which makes a compelling case for including them in womanhood, it doesn't seem the same for us part-time crossdressers: we can still be men when that's more convenient, kind of like eating a cookie and having it too. Why doesn't it validate TERFs' concerns?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to invalidate all of you, all of us, and I'm deeply sorry to anyone who felt dragged down reading this. And needless to say, whenever I do go out in girlmode, I try my best not to make any woman feel uncomfortable. But I do feel like an intruder. I feel self-conscious all the time that I might not actually have any right to claiming femininity for myself. Not unless I permanently revoke all masculinity at least. And I'm not sure how to mentally navigate that. Do you have any arguments that would prove my doubts wrong?